FLDS vs. WOFF – the Similarities – part 2

     Brent Jeffs makes it clear in his book, “Lost Boy”; that there were many times that the leadership of the FLDS church coined a special word to soften the meaning or actually hide the true meaning of a phrase or activity. In WOFF, that happened regularly. Many of the phrases have been used already in postings here. However, here is a recap of the terms used in WOFF, either coined or re-defined to meet the needs of leadership, ie. Jane Whaley. (Jane Whaley had the final say as to what term to use and how to use it in any situation.)

     When I first came out of WOFF, I had to re-adjust my vocabulary so many folks could understand what I was saying. To explain the terms I had used meant explaining why I left WOFF and there usually was not time for that while working.

1. Take hold – In WOFF could mean- shape up…? Get with the program! Put a lid on it! Just obey what you have been told! The phrase could mean many things according to the context. “Take hold of that person” – help them “get their heart right” and submit to what ever Jane said or was dictated from the pulpit.

2. Open your Heart, – Share you heart, tell ALL your sin to someone who is “taking hold of your life”… In FLDS- “reporting in” (Lost Boy-pg 120)

3. “Fulfill your call“- move up the ranks and pass on the control to others, repeat the message until others get it through you… It was said many times; “You will never full your call until you help someone else fulfill their call.”  The way this transpired was you finding someone else to “help open their heart” and “take hold of them”.Help them..”find their place of submission in Jesus”, or in the group- which ever was more obvious.

4. Stay submitted”– meant don’t get mad about something that you don’t understand. AND don’t ask any more questions about it! Also, you could be reminded to “be sweet”… One leader spent several sermons talking about how he was learning to “be sweet” and how that “helped” him.

In FLDS; the equivalent- “Keep Sweet“. (Lost Boy-pg 29) You are not supposed to have the “bad feelings” or thoughts- if you did, then don’t voice them.. “Don’t refuse a blessing…”

5. “Everyone loves Jane Whaley and Jane Whaley loves everyone- if they don’t show that love they are listening to the devil!” This was Jane’s admitted rationale statement she used to justify why others may shun her or speak evil of her. She said this thought helped her approach others that may not seem ready to “be sweet” to her… (This will be a posting all by itself later..Have you ever heard of Narcissism?.)

6.  “fine tuning” In WOFF; this meant getting further instruction or interpretation on a situation from Jane.    “Adjustments”- In FLDS,  this meant changes in the rules. (Usually more strict…)

7. “Work Projects“- In WOFF, this was taking time after normal work hours and on Saturdays to work at someone else’s house helping them. It could also be at the church or on a church owned property. Supposedly, there was a list that Jane and one of her close “helpers” kept of houses that needed paint, carpet, or other changes. Early on, many men were told that they needed to get involved in these work projects ESPECIALLY if they had a handyman type skill. I painted for a while until it was obvious that doing this would leave little to NO time for family activities. (which in some cases- men were told that they “gave to perversion” with their family so, why would you need to spend that much time with them?”) Getting involved in helping others would “help you come into your place in the ministry.”  

In FLDS- “Saturday Work Days” – young boys of 14 on up in age were expected to do the SAME THING on Saturday as was mentioned for WOFF. It appears that both groups used the standard “guilt trip” techniques to shame folks into leaving their families and “help” others with their houses. It was meant to save folks money but at what cost?

8. “Receiving a Blessing“- In FLDS, never refuse a blessing, it was seen as ungrateful and nonspiritual and not “being obedient“. Being obedient was a cornerstone of FLDS (and WOFF). (Lost Boy -pg 12, 31)

In WOFF, your “blessing” could have a big mortgage payment or even a large car payment attached to it, strange “blessing” in many cases. Anything that may be evidence of a “prosperous” lifestyle had to be a “blessing”. Sam Whaley often mentioned how his friends would drive through the church parking lot and see the cars of members. They would say “Sam, your folks must be doing good… not an old car in the lot!”… Sam was so happy to hear this!

9. In WOFF- go get “checked out” to see if you are hearing right? Is this time for me to get married?” that is with Jane Whaley of course. Jane claimed to never direct anyone without knowing their was a mutual interest from both parties. But, all relationships and ALL marriages were Jane approved or IT DID NOT HAPPEN. And if a couple “sinned” before they were able to get married, it could be called off or postponed indefinitely by Jane.

In FLDS- a woman could “present herself” for marriage. The prophet would ask her if she had a vision of who should be her husband. If she had heard right, then the prophet may set-up a quick wedding. If not, then he may direct her to go back and pray more or tell her straight out who she would marry.  (Lost Boy -pg 18)

10.  In WOFF- “singles fellowship nights”where a sinlge man and single woman could talk and “be guarded” in their conversation- many times over dinner at the church. These meetings were often accompanied by teaching on “God’s way for relationships”.  

In FLDS – “Fireside gatherings” (Lost Boy -pg 19), FLDS would allow young singles over 15 years old to come together and teach them about Mormon marriage relationships. Afterwards, they would allow them to socialize over snacks.

11. “One man Rule”  (Lost Boy-pg 15), In FLDS, One man rule was just that. Counsel from other men in leadership was not needed or heeded.

In WOFF – in theory, Jane Whaley has a Board of Directors and a group of “leadership” that she asks questions and allows to be in her office when members come in with problems. But, so let it be known, so let it be written – Jane has the final say in EVERY matter of the church. In 16 years, I remember only one time did Jane share her pulpit with an outside speaker (politicians courting the vote…excepted..) Dr. “Z” from Africa was allowed to come speak. After Jane “prayed” for him and he left the building; Jane said he was not “walking where we are” and discounted just about everything the man said. She did not want any “error to take root in us”..

12. In WOFF- “That did not feel right”. The phrase could mean different things at different times. Most of the time someone used this phrase to arrest the attention of someone else about something they did or said. It could involve an individual or a group of folks and by using the phrase; you were putting them on notice that the whole situation was now going to be reviewed by someone in leadership. (most likely – Jane.) Then it could be checked out to see if everyone involved was “giving to Jesus” and “had a hold of Jesus” and, and ,and… many times it was a whole big deal and new doctrines, rules and edicts came from these times. For this was when things were “fine tuned“… What was the outcome? Many times it served as an exhibition of Jane’s power to determine what was sin; who was in sin; who was right and who was “giving to devils” and , and, and, – a further clarification of who was in charge- Jane.

Explaining the special code words and their meaning that has been present in both FLDS and WOFF will take more postings. Let it be sufficient to show the number of code words and their similarities listed in this post are more than just one or two. The “code” words are also indicative of the similar practices in both groups.

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