We continue with the theme of losses associated with being a part of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). Who has not seen the commercials advertising the show The Biggest Loser®? I have never seen the show, but, from what I understand it is about people losing weight. Here is a link to their website. http://www.nbc.com/the-biggest-loser/ . Yes, it is a simple concept.
In the WOFF reality, who would be considered to have the most losses or the biggest loser? Let’s consider this from several angles. In the last post, we mentioned the losses of those inside the group. We will not go over them, but, a reader pointed out something very true.
For those inside WOFF, “the biggest loss of all is losing the individual person God intended all of us to be. You cannot conform to all their rules and regulations and not lose sight of who you really are.” Thank you for pointing that out. Under the legalism, there are many losses. Who would deny that? Under that system of works and performance, there is no option but to set your true-self aside and conform or out the door you go… That new “WOFF-self” is subject to the whims, wishes and angry shouts of Jane Whaley. All of the pressures to surrender and become who Jane directs are clothed in the religious mantra of the day. That pressure could be brought with any number of phrases and clichés. Here is a list to choose from- If you don’t submit, you will end up “losing your place in God”; by making that choice you are “denying the call of God on your life”. Then there is the one used on us all as a congregation, “When you saw that sin (put most anything here.) Why were you not convicted? I (the minister speaking) was convicted immediately when I heard about it. Where have you cut God off? What sin are you hiding?” At times, the pressure to submit to group-think was so blatant and obvious. The phrase could be something like- “Why would God lead you away from what he is showing his ministers?” Even the pressures to deny your personal time with God were/are great. Being alone with God was not promoted. Why? It was taught: because you may “give over to a religious spirit”.
So, for WOFF members, the losses are many. Members are conformed to an image Jane desires, but, they are all individuals and it would be presumption to think I could know all of their individual struggles or losses. We can only get a general idea here. For sure, there were lost years that cannot be recovered. Many WOFF members have been in the group for several years. There will never be a “redo” for the time spent there. It is easy for the days and weeks to fill-up with “the work of the ministry” (?) and soon months roll into years and years add onto years and before you know it, you have been in WOFF for ten years or more. I was under the WOFF influence for 16 years. In some ways it seemed very short. In other ways, I thought it would never get better and hoped desperately for a way for things to improve.
You may ask, John, how could there be “losses”? Look at the big houses, nice cars, fine clothes and jewelry! Who has “lost” anything at WOFF? Really? Were we all so blinded by the “stuff” that the chase for “stuff” covered our real losses and made up for them? Sadly, it seems true for many in WOFF. Having the blessing or “what the ministers of God should have” seemed to pre-occupy some and divert attention from what really was happening to them and around them.
WOFF members: are they the biggest losers in this deal? Who can say? We have mentioned the estranged families and friends. Certainly their losses are nothing to discount and ignore. Lost years, lost family times, lost conversations and the love-sharing that were meant to enrich those relationships, all made null by WOFF practices and teachings. All of this is so sad. Estranged family members: are they the biggest losers in this WOFF-zone? Who can really say?
What about the community around WOFF? Are they the biggest losers in this deal? Who wants to live around a group of people that seem to have so many dramas that bring extra attention to them and the community? John, how can you say the people in the community have lost anything when it comes to WOFF? After all, don’t WOFF members contribute and have a fine reputation in the business community? Well, it depends on who you ask. While inside WOFF, I thought all WOFF members held to the highest standards and never brought a question, doubt or reproach. At times, I was so gullible. After I got out, I learned that what I have been told was not always the whole truth. WOFF members have defaulted on certain obligations and have struggled paying taxes similar to other folks. Can you say Daniel Furniture? Do we know the whole story about the furniture businesses on the coast? Can we say “Living the Life”? Just the simple fact that Jane is so secretive about her spending decisions should cause doubt to be cast on the whole group. After all, if Jane sees her finances as a personal privilege and she answers to no one; then why are other businesses owned by church members expected to be totally honest? Baby ducks will follow their Momma Jane’s example.
So, the community has experienced losses because of WOFF. But, are they the biggest losers? Who can say for now? There are so many to consider when thinking about the downside of WOFF. One group that gets put forth as trophies for Jane’s honor may be the biggest losers in the whole WOFF parade. That group is the children either in WOFF now or who grew-up in WOFF and left. I recently helped a young man who was put out of WOFF after being born into the group. The story he tells was hard for me to listen to and I had been in the group! The shunning he endured the separation from family and friends for weeks and actually months was meant to “bring him to repentance”. Jane, how did that work out? The fourth building that Jane told me was fixed up very nice – was the scene of much of the emotional trauma for this young man. He also said the garage at his parent’s house was a place he spent many hours – separated from others.
The children within WOFF have no ability to defend themselves from the religious shenanigans that go on there. To them, all of it is perfectly normal and “healthy”. Many know no different because they have never been outside the WOFF-zone. I know that some children have more privileges than others and not all are pressured the same. But, overall, if you want to know how the children are treated, then take note how the parents are treated. The public rebukes, the fits of anger by Jane excused as the “anger of God”, the many controls over what others in America consider normal privileges of citizenship and the intense fear used on adults is also used on the children.
In my opinion, the children either past or present are the biggest losers in this whole WOFF charade. Why? Because it is many of those who were children in that group who are now out. They are the ones who write to me or communicate in some way how affected they still are by the WOFF practices they lived under years ago. The measures used by Jane and her leadership to control members affect them for years afterward- negatively. Leaving the group does not automatically heal the soul or salve the wounds made by Jane’s sanctioned practices.
It is hard to point to one person as the biggest loser. We can say for sure that because of the practices of WOFF on its members and in turn how that affects extended family and friends- many innocent folks have losses too many to count. Please, God help us.
Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog. Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.
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Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, for posts written by John Huddle, any information about WOFF is from his memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 366.