“I don’t have any fear now” Katie Holmes (People Magazine)

Suddenly an urge to do what I don’t normally do- buy a magazine. In a rush in and out of a local store, my eye caught the cover of People® magazine. The cover dated November 10, 2014 had a picture of a woman I barely recognized-Katie Holmes. The caption-“I don’t have fear now.” (written by Kate Coyne) In a fit of giddy confusion, I grabbed the magazine and began glancing through it trying to verify my suspicions. Was this the ex-wife of Tom Cruise? The woman who ditched him because of his religion- Scientology? Pointing to the cover, I asked the clerk checking my out if this was the ex-wife of Tom Cruise- she looked as confused as I felt. “I don’t know.”

Laying the magazine down, I decided to chance it, “I will take it.”

Once in the car, I flipped quickly to page 52. Yes, this was the same woman. As usual, I was running late for an appointment, stuffed the magazine into the yellow plastic bag and decided to read it later in the day.

This evening, I settled in to read the article. Not sure what I was expecting, I am not a regular reader of this magazine. In fact, there were several celebrities mentioned who I no idea what made them famous. I live unconnected like that. Better than it used to be, but I am no fan of being a fan of the Hollywood types. My interest in this article rested solely in how it addressed her break-up with Tom Cruise and if there were any insights into how Scientology figured into the split. My hopes were only partially satisfied.

“…Eight years ago she was a princess in a fairy tale, the beautiful starlet marrying the megastar Tom Cruise in an Italian castle, their adorable daughter Suri by their side. Five years later she was the prisoner escaping that very marriage, fleeing Los Angles and Scientology.”

From the article title and this line, we understand there used to be fear. Well, not surprised, are we? High demand groups operate through fear, heavy handed, life controlling, night mare spurning FEAR.

Further in the article, “But not every concern has been so easy to conquer. The details of her split with Cruise remain a confidential (legally sealed-off) matter. Yet the impact is something Holmes is still trying to navigate. “I don’t want that moment in my life to define me, to be who I am,” she says of her post-split persona. “I don’t want that to be what I’m known as. I was an actor before, as actor during and an actor now.”

That is the extent of any mention of her past life with Cruise. The balance of the article seeks to tell how normal and ordinary Holmes is attempting to live, as normal as any actor in New York can be. The focal point of interest in my eyes was the admission about her daughter-“My main goal is to just let her know how much I love her,” she says. “Just to let her know that she is so loved…”

Can we then back track and presume that the change in living arrangements away from Cruise was at least in part because Holmes was afraid that in that relationship she would not be able to freely show her daughter just how much she was loved?

My suggestion comes from reading a book written by a survivor of Scientology- “beyond belief- My Secret Life Inside Scientology and My Harrowing Escape”– by Jenna Miscavige Hill. (Copyright©2013 by Jenna Miscavige Hill, HarperCollins Publishers) Once I began, I could not lay it down except to fall asleep and anxiously wait until I finished work the next day so I could read more. A large part of this book details the separation of children from their parents inside that group. Was this the specific fear that led Holmes to exit? The fear she would not be with Suri and thus could not show her the depth of this love? We may never know. For now, we do know she left what was in the eyes of many, a dream relationship with a world recognized film icon in order to raise her daughter away from that him and his Scientology. Cruise continues as the face of Scientology and has no outward signs of walking away from that notion- for now. The future may change his position. There is always hope.

Love has ways of changing folks.

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