Wednesday, I attended a book signing in Asheville. Debby Shriver, author of “Whispering in the Daylight-The Children of Tony Alamo Ministries and Their Journey to Freedom” read from the book and answered questions. I met Debby several years ago. We share common interests in helping survivors of high-demand religious groups. It was an enjoyable evening as I met her husband and their dog.

In addition to providing the chronological understanding of Tony Alamo and his journey, Debby interviewed the children who were taken by authorities from the group in 2008. She gives them a voice. The insight from them is treasured because it is raw, real and provides understanding of the struggles for those who grow-up in control groups. This aspect of the book is very valuable.

I recommend if you have any connection in any way to a high-demand control group, whether that means you were recruited into one as adult, spent most or all of your childhood in one or have friends or relatives who are caught up in one- this book will help you. Debby interviewed over 300 people for this book. She spent countless hours writing and planning this work. You will realize this once you begin reading.

Today, I share an excerpt from the words of Irene. She was one of the children taken in the raid September 20, 2008. She shares several personal observations of her journey. The following is one I found included what I believe is universal trait for members of high –demand groups.

“When you are under the discipline of a sociopath, there is no such thing as a simple right or wrong answer. There isn’t even an “almost right” answer. If what you say doesn’t line up one hundred percent with what the sociopath wants to hear, then you are just wrong….

There are several things that can happen to victims of such abuse. Obviously, they will not be too confident after being repeatedly told that they are wrong. In severe cases, victims no longer know how to think for themselves. The sociopath can effectively drive his or her own opinions on another through fear and over time so that the victims don’t even realize they are no longer thinking for themselves and can only regurgitate the despicable thoughts that have been hardwired into them through repeated degradation.

… Speaking from my own experience, after living dangerously close to a sociopath who was always changing his words to suit his own benefit, and realizing there was almost never a correct answer for him, I learned how to float by being invisible. The only time I was in the spotlight was when someone else brought me into it. I tried to stay out of trouble. Even though I knew I could earn “brownie points” by telling my friends’ dirty secrets, I chose not to. I knew I could become a target for revenge. This invisible strategy worked fairly well in the world of the sociopath. I only got beaten about twenty times and starved for no more than three days at a time. (Trust me, that wasn’t too bad.) But now I am in the real world, and being invisible doesn’t work quite so well.

In my new life, my real life, the one that is free of sociopaths, I have a tendency to make a special effort to be out of trouble. It is not something I do on purpose or because I do not want to take responsibility for my actions. I am coming to realize that my problem is in the anticipation of what the consequences of my actions will be. In my case, most of my life experiences have conditioned me to feel fear. I’m realizing that in the real world, while there are consequences to be avoided, like getting fired or disappointing a parent, these consequences need not be feared. My problem is that before I think rationally about the possible consequences of my actions, I automatically start to fear the outcome, whatever it might be, which in turn causes me to avoid getting involved.”

Does any of this ring true for you or someone you know? There is so much more of value in this book. I am still digging through it. My purpose today was to give hope to those who have left Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) and let you know you are no alone. Others can and do understand you.

Also, I want to allow those who are still inside to know that if you live your life being “invisible” and hiding- then you have no life. Living in constant overwhelming fear is not normal. You are wasting your life under the deception that the leader or her leaders have ultimate control. You must take your life back and stop living in unhealthy fear. Yes, it is sad you are where you are. However, it is not likely that things will change for you unless you make the changes happen.

There are people to help you. If you choose to stop living in unhealthy fear, then don’t stop until you have broken free. Break free, tell others about your life and tell the secrets you have hidden for years about life inside. You deserve a better life than living “invisible.” If this describes you, then you must make the changes for your future.

Follow on these platforms:
Twitter – @religiouscults
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/johnhuddleauthor
YouTube- religiouscultsinfo.com

Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog. Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Jane told me and Josh confirmed it.

Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.

Look on the right side of any post for the option to subscribe by email for notifications or RSS feeds notifying of new postings. It is a great feature. Also, find more posts by selecting “Categories”.

Guest posts reflect the opinions of the writers. Their opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions of John Huddle or any other persons affiliated with this blog.

Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, for posts written by John Huddle, any information about WOFF is from his memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be.

Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted.

(Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 643.