In both “Lost Boy” and “Stolen Innocence”, both authors give details of the struggles within their families. Specifically, the emotional trauma of their siblings leaving or “being put out on the side of the road” (page 47 – Stolen Innocence). Also, the threat and practice of being “reassigned” within FLDS was heart breaking to read about. Obviously, the daily struggles within FLDS for the families were a big part of the lives of each author growing up.
Reading these accounts was difficult on many levels. The number of families split up and broken at WOFF over the years is no small number. Over the years, the list only continues to grow of broken families or traumatized individuals stemming from WOFF and its practices. A few families would leave as a unit. But, the emotional baggage of having been a part of WOFF was great on any level for single people or families.
There was a the couple at WOFF who moved back west. The husband left and originally the mother stayed with the two boys. She went for a visit and never returned to WOFF. That story was quieted and not spoken about much at all.
There was the family that got up to leave WOFF in the middle of a service while certain folks tried to physically restrain the father. It was a big to do and left many folks shaking. Jane told the “strong guys” to “let him go”. He secured his wife and children and left. It was a big scene. A couple of days later, they were packed and headed back West to start a new life. They had been a part of the church and school for years. The children were clearly befuddled and confused.
There have been many young folks to leave WOFF and experience the trauma of being told -“you are not serving God!” “You will lose the “Call of God” and never make it!” The devil will take you to hell; you will go back to your vomit. You can’t make it on your own. The “unclean” will take you over! Yes, some did go back to their destructive habits. But, is that a reflection on their new freedoms or their previous environment? Were they ever given the help needed to stay away from old habits or did they just develop a pattern of dependency?
How do we count the families that were broken as one spouse would leave WOFF and the other not, or a grown child would leave and strike out on the own without the “blessing of Jane”..? From just the ones I know about and can remember… I can think of 27 families or individuals directly affected either by a spouse or child leaving. I can only remember one single lady who Jane said would be better off back with her parents… All others left in a cloud of confusion. These were folks with a “Judas spirit”.. according to Jane. She would often ask “Who is next?” This came more as a challenge then a true question.
So, what if my exact count is off? I believe I have missed by a few. The point should be well taken – broken families are common to FLDS and WOFF and evident and obvious to anyone who will examine the subject.
What is the common characteristic in the two groups that would lead to families splitting and/or children leaving their family and the church? It is difficult to name just one attribute, but here is a key one.
“Your only real family are [sic] the members of the priesthood who are faithful to our prophet. – Warren Jeffs
FLDS members were taught that the prophet spoke for God. As time passed, Warren Jeffs spoke for his father, the prophet and thus “for God”. By the end of his reign, Warren Jeffs had no checks or balances on his governing powers. Women and children were considered “property of the priesthood” and could be reassigned to another man by the “revelation” of the prophet. Thus, no real stability to assure the family units would remain in tact. Your “priesthood family” was more crucial to your life now and in the hereafter.
Matthew 12:46-50 (Amplified Bible)
46Jesus was still speaking to the people when behold, His mother and brothers stood outside, seeking to speak to Him. 47[a]Someone said to Him, Listen! Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak to You. 48But He replied to the man who told Him, Who is My mother, and who are My brothers?49And stretching out His hand toward [not only the twelve disciples but all] [b]His adherents, He said, Here are My mother and My brothers.50For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother!
This scripture was often used to justify elevating the relationships with those who were in the church over natural family members who are not “doing the will of God”… Would Jesus really teach his followers to ignore family members who are not in WOFF or who are struggling to accept Jane Whaley as God’s only mouthpiece?
WOFF members are taught that Jane Whaley hears God and knows God’s will. She “hears” for members in matters great and small. There are no checks and balances in the power structure used at WOFF. Many times, I have seen a spouse so entrenched in their faith in Jane and Jane speaking for God, that the other spouse is a secondary consideration in the decisions of the family. If there is one spouse who does not agree with Jane, then the other one must chose and many times that choice is Jane’s word over their mate’s. At WOFF, choosing a spouse’s words or leading over the direct word from Jane Whaley could mean the family being put out of the church and “missing the move of God” (heaven..). The fear of being “put out” or “on church discipline” resulted in stress in families.
Thus, the seeds of destruction lie within the spiritual abuse environment created for the members. Each leader promised strict adherance to the beliefs and practices would give hope in the hereafter. Extreme “faithfulness and obedience” to the doctrines and “words of the prophet” in FLDS can lead to “being lifted up at the last day”. If you “doubt the Prophet and his will”, you could miss heaven.
In WOFF, following the “apostle” Jane would result in “fulfilling the call of God” (making it to heaven). To not “fulfill your call”, (follow “God’s will” through Jane) could cause you to miss heaven.
How can there be long term stability within the families with these practices in each group?
Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life.
(Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )