Tag Archives: Elissa Wall

“Stolen Innocence” by Elissa Wall- Review

     In previous posts, I have quoted often from this book. This book is 438 pages, beginning with the struggles of a child born into the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FDLS). The book has three main parts that cover the years of her life up until the end of the trial of Warren Jeffs. In Part 1, she outlines her childhood days living in a polygamous family and the struggles inherent with that structure. Her family grew to include eleven brothers and twelve sisters. At one time, there were three mothers in her house- married to the same man, her father.

     The insights into her childhood including her perspectives and thoughts about Warren Jeffs, were a key to the book’s value for me. She describes her interactions with Warren Jeffs and her eventual marriage to her first cousin- Allen Steed. She fought the arranged marriage vehemently. However, in FLDS, she would be forced to follow the word of the Prophet “Uncle Rulon”, as dictated through Warrren Jeffs.  Her story of anguish at the eventual marriage was heart wrenching. The ominous “authority” that Warren Jeffs secured over the members of FLDS smelled just like the same situation at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) involving Jane Whaley. This fact made reading this book and others about FLDS, so enlightening to me.

    After the illegal marriage ceremony held at the Hot Springs Motel in Caliente, Nevada; Elissa struggles intensified. She explains in the second part of the book her struggle just to survive. She spent many nights in her mom’s company in order to avoid contact with her husband. Later, she would spend nights in her truck and that would lead to an encounter with Lamont Barlowe. Their friendship would eventually lead to a legal marriage and two children.

     Continue reading “Stolen Innocence” by Elissa Wall- Review

Resources, Answers and Hope

     The sub-title of this blog is “Resources, Answers and Hope”. In this blog are resources including book references by some very qualified authors on the subject of cults and recovery from cults. There is also a list of links to other sites that can prove a benefit to those looking for good solid material on religious cult mind control. There is such a wide range of topics in this area, it is difficult to stay focused on what could be the biggest help for the readers.

     The writings of others helped me find many answers, once I was out of WOFF. No, you would not be allowed to read the books listed on the “Books, Resource” page of this blog, if you were still a member of WOFF. Few authors in this field, had knowledge of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) and Jane Whaley. However, the characteristics found in other frequently documented religious cult mind control groups existed at WOFF. That was one of the more shocking revelations upon leaving WOFF. Until I was out, I had no idea how much control I was under and how much of my life had been altered while in the group. The growth of the control is so subtle, in many cases.  The strength and depth of the control becomes great a lot of times without the member realizing how many areas are under control of Jane Whaley and other leadership. After I left the reality of the freedom of choice returned. It felt strange at first.

    Talking with former members is a help also. Reading their testimonies on other sites helped confirm my observations of what happened while at WOFF. However, several ex-members just want to forget what happened to them at WOFF and bury it all. Since I still have relatives who are in WOFF, that has been very difficult for me to do. The path to freedom still requires me to look back and remember those who are still attending WOFF. As mentioned before, I believe you can reject the methods, reject the message and not reject the members.

    Continue reading Resources, Answers and Hope

FLDS vs WOFF – Married Couples – part 9

As mentioned before, many similar behaviors in FLDS and WOFF may not have affected each member the same in every case. If you were “not walking in a certain place in God”, you may not have been told certain things about certain events, happenings or teachings. This will become more evident as this subject is developed.

At FLDS, Flora Jessop in “Church of LIES” (copyright 2009), “Warren began to take even more control over people’s personal lives in a series of what he called “adjustments”. .. He also adjusted people’s private lives, increasing the strictures. He took the pulpit personally to explain the sex act to the congregation, telling them how it was supposed to be done: “If the female enjoys it, ” he said “you are doing it wrong. Sex is for procreation only.” She goes on to explain other restrictions in this area. (page 197)

Elissa Wall in “Stolen Innocence”(copyright 2008), tells her view of these increased restrictions and “adjustments”.    “Rulon (Jeffs) began performing a sort of marriage counseling supposedly aimed at resolving marital conflict, but it was less about solving problems and more about control over husbands and wives.    With his new practice, the prophet became privy to members’ most intimate secrets, and Rulon was not afraid to put this information to use. Under the guise of counseling, the prophet — and later Warren—began making life-altering decisions such as controlling the sexual relations of spouses  … Warren effectively began to encourage some women to spy on their husbands in the name of the Lord, wanting them to come forward with any infraction, no matter how small.” (page 85- emphasis added)

My experience in this area will not be the testimony of others. I will relate my own experience, what I know to be true and as accurate as I can be without being inappropriate. At WOFF, there were at least two time periods where the push to “purify the marriage bed” was made known and preached. The first time frame is not clear in my memory, but I believe it was during the transition from Greenville to WOFF in NC. It continued for a time after we moved to WOFF.

The married couples were grouped in classes to be taught certain subjects having to do with contraception and marital relations. These classes were taught by those who had proven they were not “giving to the unclean” in their relationships. The number of times a month “to come togther” was suggested as well as the approved contraception method. Very explicit reasons were given for using the approved method. Other methods were taught to promote “abortions” of sorts. Many folks lived several to a household, so precautions to keep the time discrete were discussed and how to “cover the tracks” for those who were single or unlearned of the practices. “We don’t want to lose an attack at someone because of your time together.” The classes went so far as to give the approved position for intimate times. Your thoughts during your intimate times were also subject counsel.

During this first emphasis, you were to “check it out with leadership” when you and your spouse were considering “going into the marriage bed”. It just so happens the person I went to was the same fellow that called me in January to complain about this blog. This requirement was awkward, but being submitted to the teaching and wanting to not make waves, I went to him and discussed our private intentions. He seemed uncomfortable at times. Well, that was a mutual feeling! This was someone who represented “authority” in my life as well as had/has frequent access to the pulpit at WOFF. Finally, one evening, he sensed my questions and how the conversation would go. He said,” John, we don’t do that any more.”  I looked puzzled. His next statement I cannot quote as clearly as his first statement but, it was something like, “God is leading us in a different direction.” He was saying that we don’t “check it out with leadership” about marriage relations anymore. I did not have to keep talking to him about that.

Later, I suspected that one couple that had left and moved back West had “spilled the beans” to the press and it hit the papers – somewhere. Events and confessions of former members apparently had/has a way of “changing the direction of God”. Since I don’t know for sure, that only proves my point! Why did God change the direction? Does anyone else consider that a little strange?

During the last quarter of 2007 and/or the first quarter of 2008; the “move of God” went back in the direction to “purify the marriage bed.” God had changed His mind again?  Not really, “He had always wanted purity in this area, we just not been ready for it. Now, He was coming to us again. Lets don’t have this move of God pass us by!” “But, if you are not ready to get down to business, then you need to walk out of here – right now!” These were several of the transition statements used to introduce the subject again to the middle-aged married couples. These classes were held on Sunday nights and were taught by approved “leadership” that had Jane’s blessing. They were not taped as far as we were told. One reason was the intense personal nature of the subject matter at hand.

The topics were intense and were supposed to promote a “holy marriage”. I witnessed the wife of one man rebuke him in front of us all for “taking care of things himself”. He got up to painfully admit it and ask for prayer. After many meetings couples were encouraged to stay for personal counseling. After a few couples “got breakthroughs”, they would be encouraged to get up and share their changes.

My forced exit from WOFF was during the second quarter of 2008. I have no further information as to the outcome of this second emphasis. But, clearly the direction of the second set of classes was in the same or even a more intense direction than the first emphasis. I have no reason to believe that Jane Whaley and the leadership have lessened their desire to control the area of intimate marriage relationships.

Again, we find another similarity between FLDS and WOFF. I am not sure where the list will end. Just for reference, Jim Jones practiced heavy regulation over the intimate lives of married couples in Peoples Temple. But, that will be a post for another day.

Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life. There are readers at WOFF. I KNOW for sure and will share that post soon.

Look on the right side of any post for “Categories”, select the drop down box and view any previous post by selecting “Uncategorized”. Use the slide bar on the right to scroll down to the bottom. Select “Previous Entries” to review older posts.

(Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )

FLDS vs. WOFF – the Similarities – part 3

     Elissa Wall with Lisa Pulitzer wrote “Stolen Innocence“. (copyright 2008) In this book, Ms. Wall explains many aspects of the daily life in a polygamous household. She also explains church history and authority structures of how the FLDS was run.

     The “prophet” had far reaching power and authority in FLDS. “The prophet decides when two people marry, when families can form, and when families that are not working are to be reorganized.” (pg 17) This power brought with it a lot of fear in the FLDS members. Especially when there was “one man rule”..

     Jane Whaley has this same kind of power and authority at WOFF. She exercises authority over who is married, when households can form and when households are not working, she says when and how they are to be reorganized. This power over members is given by default to Jane by some members. Some members own their own houses with other members living with them. Who lives in that house is STILL dictated by Jane – if you are submitted to “God’s will”. Ultimately, Jane is THE one who hears God in these situations as well as EVERY OTHER question at WOFF. Do not be fooled; if you “join” WOFF, then where you live as well as MANY other things will be under Jane’s direction, either directly or indirectly. Those who live in church owned properties are ALWAYS at the direction of Jane about where they live. Just like FLDS; when the very place you sleep and raise your family is subject to immediate change, there is a level of fear associated with that knowledge which can lead you to ignore many issues and rationalize that it is not worth making a scene or questioning leadership. You could lose your home, your job, your family….if you raise the wrong questions.

     Elissa goes on to explain further. “It was common practice to expel men, and in extreme cases women, whom the priesthood considers a threat… All that’s required is for the prophet or someone acting at his direction to say” “You have lost your priesthood”. The significance of this is enormous for believers, as it creates a culture of fear. If a husband loses his priesthood, his family is literally no longer his. In addition, he has to leave his land and home because his home is owned by the FLDS Church and controlled by the priesthood. Faithful wives and children will accept these decisions and wait to be reassigned to another man. In the meantime, the father is told that his only chance to win back his family is to leave and repent at a distance.” (page 18) (emphasis added by author)

     Elissa Wall continues to share that as she was growing up, “..I was taught that I should never do anything to go against the prophet or priesthood. Doing so would ultimately be going against God himself.” (pg 17-18)

     Who can count the number of families that have been broken up because of the same type of power that Jane Whaley possesses? Who can measure the emotional trauma over hearing either from Jane or one of her lieutenants: “You are out of the church. You need to stay away until you find a place of repentance.” Yes, many times it was men, but at times women were expelled, also. Even the highest ranking lieutenants, were subject to being put out and told to “seek God and repent”. There were times Sam Whaley was rebuked in services by Jane and “put out to find a place of repentance”. Even if you spent years in the church, there was always the underlying  faith destroying fear of “What could that person have done to be put out? I want to know so I don’t do that!” Seeing others “put out” was enough in many cases to keep people in line for months or years. The whole situation was to solidify and consolidate Jane’s power base and make sure all members knew who was in charge. A few times, Jane would recount what a person had done to be kicked out. (some times in veiled terms, sometimes not..) That would even further strengthen the fear of other members! The result was fear of Jane more than God. She “spoke for God” and did not allow others to buck or voice doubt of her perfection in that area.

      During my time at WOFF, the ONLY times I heard Jane repent was for mis-pronouncing a name or mispronouncing a word. She would go through fits and scream at members in the services quite frequently. But, “leave her alone, God must be angry with us as Jane is HIS messenger.” Many times, I heard her come into a service screaming,” The sin in here makes me sick!”.  So, after that the joy was hard to show on our faces and many cowered, “What did I do?” Is it my turn to be blasted?” But, don’t get up to use the bathroom during a service, “You should have done that BEFORE the service.” That was always a big deal; lines in the bathroom before service were always long! Also, don’t ever fall asleep or nod in a service. Jane would say- “That “sleep devil” is attacking some in here! Stand up and move to the back so you can hear the WORD! You may miss the very WORD that would keep you from going to hell!”.

     The very first Sunday service of one seminar a few years ago, it was learned by Jane that a certain senior citizen was going to the local grocery stores and picking up fliers for other member’s to use. Jane looked befuddled and said, “No one told me about that…”. She ordered the lady to stand up. This lady was more than half way back in the sanctuary and not far from where I was sitting. Jane said a few things at a high volume and it was plain to see that the senior was shaking. Jane stormed out, but not before she screamed so all could feel it, “Your sin affects me!” What you do in this community is a reflection of me! It was clear that even the best of intentions mattered not. The lady collapsed in a heap crying. She was in “discipleship” (put in another room and not allowed to be in the sanctuary while watching the services on a monitor) until she found a place of repentance. This was another display of the constant fear-based control that Jane Whaley used and continues to use at WOFF.

     The list of similar characteristics and control techniques in FLDS and WOFF continues to grow. There are more yet to come.

     Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life. There are some good readers inside of WOFF. I know for sure.. 🙂

(Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )