The subject matter of this post is hard to begin. During my years at WOFF, I was guilty of treating those who left in the manner that I am about to describe. All I can say is that now that I am out and looking back, it is a convoluted way to treat those you may have spent hours along side working or “worshipping”.  Those who leave are shunned and it is a known reinforced rule from the top – “Do Not Call someone who leaves or speak to them unless you find out from Jane if it is okay. You could loose an attack on them and/or the church.” That was made very clear. If you talk to them without “checking it out with authority”, then the sin that caused them to leave is in you! Your devils will hook-up and you will be out of here!”

    ( One side note: most every phrase in these posts that is in quotes, has a unique meaning to WOFF and in a future post I will attempt to explain how the unique language of this group was used to further their control over members. It is a VERY common practice in religious control groups to re-define words or add new meanings to words in order to prohibit individual thought. This happens at WOFF like NO OTHER group I have been a part of or read about. As I heard recently, “He who names the game, owns the game.. )

     As mentioned in previous posts, frequently fear was pronounced on the members about what would happen if they left WOFF. Many times, those who have left would have their names brought up and used as examples of what happens when “you don’t deal with your sin”, “when you don’t open your heart”, “when you allow one thought to take you over and the devil drives you out of WOFF”, “when you hide the “unclean”, lose hold of the “call of God”. Only one time on 16 years do I remember Jane Whaley ever saying a person was better off outside of WOFF and “back with their parents..” Every other time it was a big deal when someone left. Three times, that I can remember families were “sent out”, but the underlying presumption was that they would stay in fellowship with Jane and the church and the things taught by WOFF; two families did and one family did not. (as far as I know..)

     Sometimes we would be told right away when a person left. Other times it would be a while before Jane would mention that “so and so” is gone “They did not want to serve God.” There were no good reasons to leave for most folks. Many times a “Judas spirit took them over…” or “Their rebellion took them over”.. It was no mistaking the spoken and unspoken meanings to these descriptions of those who leave- they were in trouble!

     Sad to say that when folks I had been close to left, I succumbed to the pressures to not call or speak to them. I do regret my participation in that whole scene. You just knew that there would be “hell to pay” if you were caught “fellow-shipping with the Judases”.. How much true love can be in that? It set a bad example for the children to see adults cut off long relationships over a choice made to leave a church. That is another part that I deeply regret. Our children learn by the example we set. I cannot say I set a good example while spending time at WOFF when it came to talking to those who have left or showing true love to those when may have been “put out to find a place of repentance”.

“I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.” – Thomas Jefferson

     WOFF has never to my knowledge had a traditional “homecoming” as seen in other churches. Former members were RARELY allowed to come back and be a part of special meetings of any type. And as you read these posts, can you see why? The turmoil of the time at WOFF leaves so many with intense emotions, hurts and scars that coming back for even a visit is too emotional to consider. Recently, I heard there was some type of meeting where some folks were invited in and told they could ask questions. I am not sure how that went. It sounded more like a “damage control” or “prospect” meeting. Yes, not only is getting out a big deal at WOFF, but being allowed to join is at the sole discretion of Jane Whaley. Every visitor is screened or watched carefully. Invitation lists for members to invite relatives or other folks to graduation services or special meetings of any kind, are screened in the office. “This is to stop two or more folks from inviting the same folks.”  Over the years, the number of visitors just coming in off the street to general meetings was very small in comparison to the number of services that were held. Jane and/or Sam would always make it a point to meet them after the services. That greeting served many purposes.

     To this point, I have been sharing the way people who leave or join WOFF are treated. This is from my personal experience of what I saw, heard and participated in myself. As well as what I saw others do or not do. It is also consistent with what I have experienced after leaving WOFF in July of 2008. Two folks have called me by accident since I left. Their reaction to having accidently dialed my number was comical. Other contacts with members will be discussed later.

     Now, lets look at how FLDS treats members who leave. Flora Jessop in “Church of LIES” (copyright 2009)  writes about her experience of trying to visit her Mom after she left. She was told she would have to speak to her Dad and Uncle Fred. She asked her Mom how she and the children were doing? “We’re all fine.” (No, they were not doing “fine”. They lived in a polygamous cult, if they were “fine” they would be leaving that group! ) During this exchange Flora saw that seeing her family had become a church matter not just a family matter. (page 127)

     Later in the book, Flora recounts an impromptu meeting with her sister at a grocery store parking lot. The sister shunned her and refused to be polite or talk to her in a civil manner. It was an intense exchange. During this conversation, Flora said, “I believe in the Heavenly Father too, Maryett. But, the Heavenly Father I believe in doesn’t say, ‘Throw your family away because they don’t believe the same way I do.” Five men came running out of the store and surrounded the two in order to intimidate Flora. (sound familiar?   see previous post   https://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=157 )  Flora continues to express her love for her sister, but it is never returned. (271)

     Elissa Wall in Stolen Innocence (copyright 2008), explains the FLDS terms gentile and apostate. “To be an apostate was even worse than being a gentile. Gentile was a term given to all non-FLDS people, no matter their religion, but as apostate was someone who had lost faith or had left the church, turning their back on the priesthood. Apostates were viewed as the worst kinds of evil.” (page 83) These excerpts seal for me the similarities in how people who leave are treated the same with both FLDS and WOFF.  

     Yet, another service with a strange twist. Before my leave of WOFF, I was witness to a service that sums up many things about the subject of this post. A young man had left several years previous and after him,  a family in leadership had left. The young man had his wedding pictures posted on the web and they showed several ex-members. The pictures were printed off and passed around the congregation with this disclaimer- “See if you leave here, you will gain weight, drink beer and wear short dresses.” The fear being placed on folks was too obvious! This took the better part of half the time for a service just to pass the pictures and talk about those who had left. More will be posted at a later time about fears used to keep members in both groups.

    Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life. There are readers at WOFF. I KNOW for sure and will share that post soon.

     Look on the right side of any post for “Categories”, select the drop down box and view any previous post by selecting “Uncategorized”. Use the slide bar on the right to scroll down to the bottom. Select “Previous Entries” to review older posts.

      (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )