Why Go Back?

    Over the years, members who have left Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) in Spindale, NC have been allowed to return and rejoin the group. While I was inside the group, it was not a major question for me as to why folks would leave and then come back. However, now that I am out, the idea of someone returning to WOFF is intriguing. Why would former members see or feel the need to return? I find answers as I read more on the subject and reflect on my years at WOFF.

    Janis Hutchinson in her book, “Out of the Cults and Into the Church” (copyright 1994, Kregal Pub.) writes about the struggles that ex-cultists go through upon leaving a cult. Her work has been mainly among the ex-Mormons. In the chapter 3, titled “Conflict of Soul”, she explains in an easy to understand format, how certain “losses” are emotionally traumatic to an ex-cultist. One way to look at the “losses” of former cult members would be to say that these are areas, which cults perform well in meeting certain needs. Ms. Hutchinson develops a list in this chapter that is too long to cover here. A few of the losses were covered in a previous post. ( see here… https://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=261  )

   One of the major areas of loss that former cult members experience is the “loss of friends and community ties”. “…Enduring excommunication and losing the regard of others provokes a sense of loss that is impossible to describe. It’s one of the strongest motivations to return to the cult. It’s also why Christian fellowship is crucial.” (page 65 emphasis added) I certainly can attest to this statement. Members of WOFF certainly help each other as no other group I have been a part of in the past. There were several folks that seemed to always be available to help anyone whether day or night. The value of that support is hard to calculate or replace. When you spend hours and hours working beside someone or helping each other in various ways, there is a special friendship that develops. I had that with several folks at WOFF, or thought I did.  

   

     The changes that occurred in those relationships began in stages as mentioned on a previous post, “Grace to Ignore and Shun”. (the link… https://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=2176   ) The fellowship stopped as I was put in discipleship. The friendship was cut off as I was put out of the church and eventually left the group. Why? Simply put, it was too risky to be seen talking to me, since I was in rebellion to accepted church norms of behavior. The cost of talking to me was heavier and more severe than the apparent benefits. So, how deep did the friendships really go? I have written about it previously; I was just as guilty of not pursuing members who had left for just the same reasons that when I left, no one pursed me. The threat or cost of being shunned by the larger group after a strong rebuke by Jane Whaley was/is too heavy for most to pursue or talk to ousted members. This can be true with family or friends. As mentioned in previous posts MANY families have broken apart over who stays and who leaves WOFF. ( here is the link to previous post.. https://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=346 )

    While you are a part of WOFF, the friendship, camaraderie and identity with the group is tremendous. Jane Whaley and the leadership see to it that as many folks as can be, are “connected” in some way. You are encouraged to not be on the fringe of the group, “the devil goes for the strays”. This all serves well the purposes and plans for individuals losing their own identity inside the WOFF group identity. And to those who may be looking back and wondering if it would work to go back, consider the depth of friendships you had when you were in spiritual need or even put out of WOFF. How many risked their standing in the group to come and talk to you and see if you were doing well? (I am not talking about pursuing someone to Kentucky and showing up at 6:00AM, strutting around and demanding answers.) Present and former WOFF members: how many families do you know of that are together no longer because one wanted to leave and one wanted to attend WOFF? My count of 27 families is probably low when you consider other churches affected by Jane Whaley and her teachings. Does this sound like enduring Christian love? Of the folks that have left and gone back, was it really worth it? Can there be real friendship in a group where appeasing the leader is more vital than anything or anyone? Comments are welcome from present or former WOFF members.

  “I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.” – Thomas Jefferson  

    Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.

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      (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. ) This is post number 105.

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