A reader of this blog, who is a survivor of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) recently made this statement in a comment, “We are still a little unsure of becoming “totally committed” to another church, just yet. But, that may come.” The observation addresses the issue of trust. We have not been able to trust the leadership and members of another church, but we might one day. After my time at WOFF and being under the teachings of Jane Whaley, I completely understand. It took several months to enter a church of any sorts. Even then there were walls of immense proportions between me and anybody in church or even in other areas of life.
Let me explain. Upon leaving WOFF, there is not only the trust issues with other people in churches, there is also trust issues with the people who were not to be trusted while you were inside WOFF. As a member of WOFF, there were certain folks and groups that were not trusted unless the approval came from Jane Whaley to trust them. For example, DSS workers were never to be trusted. Government officials were to be at least doubted unless Jane said “okay”. Anyone associated with the media in any way was to not to be trusted. That included television, newspapers and radio. The reason should be obvious. WOFF members were not allowed access to those types of media. Others not to be trusted included lawyers- who represented outsiders, defectors or anyone you were not sure of. Now, there was a catch, after a while WOFF had their own home grown attorneys for most every situation. So, you of course could “trust” them. But, making the distinction was tough after you left. I found that trusting attorneys was based on their knowledge of WOFF and the things that had gone on there in the past.
While at WOFF, it was clear you did not trust pastors or members of other churches for almost anything. Why? Because Jane Whaley did not trust other pastors enough to allow them time in her pulpit. (one exception) So, why would a WOFF member trust another pastor from another church? What could they possibly add to the wealth of spiritual insights that Jane Whaley had acquired “directly from God”? So, upon leaving WOFF that ability to trust other Christians is severely damaged or even non-existent in many cases. Some former members are able to transition quicker than others into another church. Some never make it into another church and some fallout totally from any form of outward evidence of relationship with God. In my opinion, trust and being able to renew that trust in another person in leadership in a local church is one main key struggle for former members. There are other trust issues and some will be unique to certain folks in their own situation.
There is a process that each former WOFF member has to go through in order to regain any sense of normality in being able to trust folks for anything. It is not only with people in churches, it is overcoming the warnings that were either verbal or non-verbal while at WOFF of who could be trusted and who could not. My list of people who could not be trusted may be shorter or longer than some others. I was out in business situations and had to trust or relate to outsiders in business transactions. That allowed me to interact and see some ways to trust and connect with outsiders. However, it has taken a while to obtain any level of trust in those in business situations even after two years of being away from WOFF. Former WOFF members who did not work outside the group would have even more trouble connecting with non-WOFF folks.
It should be obvious that the number of folks outside of WOFF that could be trusted for anything is small. WOFF had doctors, tax preparation folks and several other skills that allowed WOFF to operate in many respects as a closed social environment. With the addition of a dentist, soon the group will be even more centered on WOFF members and WOFF approved folks. For Jane Whaley and her group, this is not a bad thing. Having so many needs of members filled by WOFF friendly or in-house WOFF providers allows more control over the whole group. For Jane, that is a good thing.
Yes, trusting after WOFF is a struggle to say the least. The connection of trust with love is a close one for sure. This next quote sums that up:
You can as easily love without trusting as you can hug without embracing. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
For those that are witnessing a person leave WOFF or some other controlling religious group, give them space, give them understanding, give them time and give them your love. For recovery from WOFF is no simple matter. I can only trust God to bring myself and others to a place of peace and stability upon leaving WOFF.
Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog. Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.
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(Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. ) Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 186.
John, you said it all. The trust issue is the one that is slowly released. You cannot trust anyone in the church. Jane even talked about becoming a mother to many in the church. She talked about being the adoptive mother of several that have risen up in leadership. I know these people would kill for Jane (I do mean literally). They closely protect her now. That in itself should give people warning. I had gotten to the point in the church thinking everyone was evil outside of the walls of the church and would drag you to hell. This is one reason if anyone ever leaves the walls of the church they are never trusted again and are cut off from the church family forever. The only way you can come back into the church is to meet with Jane and receive absolution and then only can you go back into the church. I have noted that money people are always allowed to come back into the church. Many of these people Jane would say they can never come back, but they always show back up. I am not in a church. I have been invited by many family members and friends who know my history. But, I just cannot do it. I want to, but do not trust them. Sad, but over time, it will change. Thanks for bringing up these points, John.
Being able to trust again after WOFF IS an issue. You know the funny thing is I remember JANE saying more than once That she trusted no one ABSOLUTE!!! Her words not mine (I would have said absolutely, or completely) Yet we were taught and told to trust church leadership COMPLETELY, yet JANE stated that she DID NOT. I wanted NOTHING to do with ORGANIZED RELIGION after WOFF. But I wanted everything to do with my FATHER. It took me several years to find a church, but I have!!!! It is not religious, but GOD loving and fearing and teaches about FATHER. We do not “stand on ceremony” but on the words of and from our FATHER. So yes, I have learned to trust again. In some ways I never stopped trusting my friends. I never would not trust you John!!! But, I realize that we are all only humans and can make mistakes….but I think only a few misguided folks want to hurt others. Some people do that to try and make themselves look better. I feel that by sharing your thoughts and experieces on this blog you are trying( and succeeding!!) and helping others that have and are coming out of such mind controlling places like WOFF. I do think you are doing a great service to so many. I pray for loved ones still in that place. But, back to trust. I have learned that NO MATTER WHAT I CAN ALWAYS TRUST MY WONDERFUL LOVING FATHER!!!! and I am still in the process of learning to trust others on a daily basis. Love and hugs and prayers to you, my friend!!!!
VS,
That is true, we can trust our Father completely. When I left WOFF, I knew I could trust my heavenly Father. Because, He helped me get out of WOFF. I waited on Him to tell me, now is the time to leave. I trusted him. My family trusted me to say, now we leave. It is odd how easy it is to trust friends and family outside of WOFF. But, those inside, especially leadership, no, I would not trust them. I do know if you see anyone from WOFF you cannot tell them anything without it being told to Jane and then eventually from the pulpit (especially if it is bad in their eyes). Upward and onward with our lives!!
Randall, No I don’t see anyone from WOFF. If they see me they do not acknowledge me (surprize) But I do agree with you!!! I do not trust those at WOFF. It is just as you say. I pray for much peace and success for you and your family. Yes UPWARD AND ONWARD GODSPEED TO US!!!