Do Christians suffer illnesses? Yes, Christians get sick from sometimes very hard to detect diseases. Some even die in what some may regard as “strange circumstances” or “before their time”. Recently, I purchased a book written by Renee Coates Scheidt, titled- “Songs of the Night — Singing Sorrow’s Songs Through the Darkness of Grief”. (Copyright ©1995 by Renee Coates Scheidt –ISBN 1-888237-34-1) When I picked up the book, I had no idea about the subject of the book except what could be gleaned from the title. While reading this book, I have found several things that reminded me of my time at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). Before I share those thoughts, let’s review some of the events in the book.

   The author tells in very frank terms, her life experiences during the time she was married to her husband. She reviews meeting and beginning her relationship with him. He got “cold feet” before their wedding and would later recover from that and they would eventually marry. Recounting the beginning years, she tells of their struggles to diagnose the reason for his mood swings and sometimes very destructive behaviors. She writes, “When you are a dedicated Christian, the humiliation of being depressed can be so overwhelming! Very few people in our world understood us… Couldn’t we speak the truth in Jesus’ name command the depression to leave? No matter how many Bible verses we quoted on the victory we have in Christ or how hard Chuck (her husband) worked to apply them, the depression never left for long.” (page 28)

    Can anyone else relate? Has there ever been a mountain of circumstances or even an illness that was in your life and no matter the prescribed steps you took – the situation became no better or even got worse? Has anyone else ever been in the confess your healing mode? After all, it seems so logical on one hand. Yet, after a while, when the answers don’t come, the questions go deeper. Is this the time when real relationship with God starts? When we come to the end of our formulas?

    Scheidt continues. “Some people told us, “If you were spiritual enough, you wouldn’t have this problem. You must have some unconfessed sin in your life, or you’re simply not doing what you know you should… How very sad that brothers and sisters in Christ judge each other so harshly. It was easier to hide the reality of our situation than to try to explain it to people who had pat, cut and dry, black and white answers. (page 28)

     After reading this far, it was hard to put the book down. I have not had personal experience with depression, but have had a few co-workers and friends that have had problems that were very similar. It has always been a difficult fit with my “theology” or my thinking about illness in general. For years, under Jane Whaley or other teachers who practiced “faith healing” or other such doctrines and practices, the reason for illnesses in Christians was cut and dry in some cases and vague in others. Many times, I had been under the preaching that if a Christian was sick, there must be some sin or some spiritual weakness. As I read this book, I had to come to grips with my thoughts about the subject and where to go from here. For years, I had been the one to have “pat, cut and dry, black and white answers.” I had been the one, if not openly, at least in my thinking, asking about a person who was sick- what sin is in their life?    

   The author goes on to tell of finally getting a proper diagnosis after several others had offered incomplete answers. Some counselors would only see her husband’s problems from their experience and not anything having to do with medical or physiological issues. His malady went untreated for years and finally came to a breaking point where he admitted himself for help. After getting to the doctor who had seen the true issue, she writes, “Knowing there was a valid reason for his emotional problems was a great relief. Chuck’s problems were not due to a lack of spirituality or some sin in his life. He actually had a physical problem beyond his realm of control.” (page 61) Her husband was diagnosed as manic-depressive.

   My thoughts while reading this book have been ones of searching, to say the least. I have remembered two incidents while at WOFF that bare repeating. One Friday night fellowship, I was standing at the food table and came along side of an older member. He was maybe in his 60’s. I noticed he had been losing some weight and mentioned the subject with a question. He answered vaguely and I dropped the subject. After all, I had been in the same struggle and was only seeking some insight. Later, I found out he had advanced cancer. At first, I regretted starting the conversation but, later dismissed it as innocent. He died not long after that and I can remember searching for more answers. After all, he was reportedly the pastor of a church in a Midwestern state. What has he done? Yes, I had those thoughts. In WOFF, you may have the thoughts, but many times, we would wait for Jane to tell us at the memorial service if that person had “repented and/or fulfilled their call”. Whatever she said was as good as “gospel”. No open discussion about such issues took place between regular members that I know of. It was a mess to say the least. Being a WOFF-Christian and being sick or in financial problems or some other negative circumstance was a perplexing issue, for all my time in that group. Having these negative circumstances or issues did not measure up to the desired WOFF-image of “perfection”. Does that sound like a healthy, realistic place to live?

  Another time, we learned of a WOFF member who lived in another state that was ill. As far as I remember, it was announced on a Sunday evening to pray for him. Within 10 to 14 days, he was dead. Again, if my memory serves me right, it was some type of advanced cancer. He was such an encouraging fellow when he would participate in the prayer sessions. I found out later that he had known Jane and Sam as well as other WOFF leaders for years. In those days again, I found my thoughts on the matter being tested. Was it so cut and dry? If a Christian was sick, was there unconfessed sin in their life? Well, did that mean we should all be sick since none of us were sinless and perfected? Who has come to that state of sinlessness and thus perfect health? Yet, I see many apparently perfectly healthy Christians? Are they the sinless, perfected ones? Maybe that idea is only in their own thinking? Do you see the quandary that such black and white thinking takes us into? Obviously, there are better answers.     

     The book goes on to outline the events, struggles and victories the author walked through after her husband later took his own life. She goes in to great depth as to the help she received from fellow believers and the places of comfort she found in her personal relationship with God. Her experiences point to areas we all need to consider and not take for granted.  

    During the last few months while writing the posts for this blog, I have been through a wide range of emotions. A few of the emotions have surprised me as I remember the happenings, decisions and effects of my time in Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). I have asked myself at times if certain memories were real and did I really see a particular chain of events take place. The surreal nature of WOFF-life is hard to take in for many reasons. Many times, it has been sobering to realize that I did not speak up or voice the questions or objections that I was harboring. In previous posts, I have admitted to “going along to get along”. It is a reality that has left me stunned and very regretful. By not voicing even the simplest questions, I was not true to myself or the ones around that I love very much. Most of all, I contributed to the sham called WOFF. This group led by Jane Whaley has affected many lives over the years. Many of the lives of present and previous WOFF members have not been affected in positive ways.  

   Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog.  Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.

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      (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. ) Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 211.