Earlier this evening, I was in Wal-Mart® in Forest City, NC helping someone get groceries. This person was a former member of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). As I stood by the entrance to the store talking with the greeter, who I had not seen in a long while; a present member of WOFF walked by me. I was not sure she recognized me. I knew who she was immediately. Later in the evening, I responded to an email from another ex-WOFF member and mentioned this person in my email. I wrote, “I saw (her name) tonight at Wal–Mart® and felt sorry for her. Her “zeal” was blinding at times, as was mine- I am sure.” The term “zeal” stuck with me as I remembered a song we used to sing in years past at WOFF. If I remember right, Jane stopped us from singing it. My first time singing this song was in 1984 at a church in Sheldon, SC. It was titled simply- “The Zeal of God”. Though different groups may modify the original words, here are the words as I remember them:
THE ZEAL OF GOD
THE ZEAL OF GOD HAS CONSUMED ME
IT BURNS IN MY SOUL
A DRIVING FORCE THAT CAN NOT BE STOPPED
A FIRE THAT CAN NOT BE QUENCHED
OH HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH
OH HALLELUJAH,
HALLE- HALLE-HALLE-HALLELUJAH
We would sing that song over and over and over. That is one reason it did not take much for me to remember it. Why bring it up? When I first saw the WOFF member in Wal-Mart®, I remembered her zeal as “blinding”. My first thoughts were that it was blinding to her and after a while I admitted to myself as having the same blinding zeal in my time at WOFF. What do I mean by that? For a lack of better words, there is a quality or characteristic of a self- blinding zeal that can and, in my opinion, does take someone over during their stay in WOFF or similar groups. This can be shown in their unrealistic, dogged and determined loyalty to Jane Whaley, WOFF members and WOFF-life. This quality was/is exercised many times to their own detriment as evidenced by the continued adherence to Jane Whaley despite losing family relationships, friendships, job opportunities or other quality life experiences by staying inside WOFF. I know of what I speak as during my stay inside WOFF, I gave up many relationships with family and/or friends outside WOFF as well as other life experiences, all the while believing this was part of the sacrifice or cost of knowing Jesus or fulfilling the call or even making it to heaven. Was it really?
Not every decision I made to forego or deny myself was good or God or even right. In all honesty, not everything denied was something I would have pursed if I was NOT in WOFF. That is evidenced by some of the “restraints” I keep now after being out since July 2008. Though while inside WOFF, it was my “right” to exercise such zeal and walk in the blindness it caused, looking back it was not at all the best or most prudent way to live. Nor was it the best to expect and demand others to bow or conform in many ways to the twisted demands of this blinding zeal. This accounted for the stiff relationships and friction WOFF members found/find with those in their family that were/are not in WOFF-life as well as those who they may work around that were/are not walking in Jane’s glow or aura. Even Jane would admit from time to time that the “attacks” or friction that WOFF members experienced was “self-inflicted”. She called it “self-inflicted warfare”. Jane’s mistake was not seeing that the majority of the “self-inflicted” problems or dilemmas were from the blinding zeal she required/requires of her followers.
In reflecting on it, this “zeal” could/would also have a blinding effect on those watching from the outside of WOFF or a similar group. I say that because of the way many in the community would gawk or peer at WOFF members. I felt it and knew that feeling while on the inside. What was/is blinding about that? For one, the WOFF members attempt to hide anything negative or doubtful about WOFF-life from outsiders. That shows a willingness to further the blindness they live in onto others in order to deflect or refute any criticism from outsiders. As WOFF members, we did it out of habit many times. We would jump to defend WOFF-street from intruders or peering and inquiring glares. Out of habit, we would try to get the license plates of unrecognized vehicles. Why? You tell me? Is that normal?
There was always to extreme efforts to clean, re-do, paint; upgrade the property when a large group of visitors were expected. It was hyper-extreme when public officials or politicians were expected. It was a reaction to defend WOFF-dom and justify the “uniqueness” of WOFF-life. For example, I would not be out of bounds to say Jane Whaley is obsessed with appearance. That is one piece of evidence to the desire to blind others as to what truly goes on inside WOFF. Does that seem plausible? Jane probably does not see it as putting up a wall to blind others or hide anything, but a way to “set God apart before the people”. In her eyes, the effort is not to hide, but to portray as perfect. That makes sense to her as she sees herself as perfect. Is there such a thing as a perfect pastor or a perfect church? Really?
Another aspect or result of the blindness was/is the fact that outsiders looking in did not/do not understand many of the WOFF ways and out of a sense of courtesy or a blinding religious respect would not/do not question WOFF-life. But, since they look like a church, they deem it as “acceptable”. After all they seem to believe in at least most of the basic things we believe at our church. How can that be bad? Remember, it is not the creed but the deed, what goes on when outsiders are not around? After all, the children are dressed so nice and never seem to back-talk or act up, that group must be okay…. Take it from a WOFF veteran; there were/are back-talkers and sassy-mouth children inside WOFF. Some even have problems that would require professional attention. I saw quite a few during my years there.
Another part of the blindness was/is the apparent “blessings” of nice cars and houses for many of the WOFF members. Believe me when I say that the first people blinded by this was/is Jane and Sam Whaley. Just listen to them talk when Sam takes up the offerings or Jane talks about her shopping trips to Atlanta or some other place “seeking the blessings of God”. Then again, outsiders would not hear as much of that as would faithful WOFF insiders. At least some outsiders see WOFF members having what they want and desire and are blinded to the true cost of these blessings for the faithful WOFFers.
How does one acquire a blinding zeal and how would you recognize it if you had it? I will speak from my experiences and observations. I did not see the zeal required to live inside of WOFF as blinding. Thus, it must have been effective! I saw the “losses” as part of the cost of WOFF membership. Such a high cost – then and now. The blindness came as the WOFF gospel evolved which required more and more compliance to Jane’s rules and doing the dos and not doing the don’ts. Legalism in its truest form.
There are many Scriptures about zeal. I don’t believe I have covered the entire scope of “zeal” in this post. Certainly, there is a healthy zeal that true Christians must have. The following passage came to mind as I considered the zeal I had while at WOFF. Romans 10: 1-7-
1BRETHREN, [with all] my heart’s desire and goodwill for [Israel], I long and pray to God that they may be saved. 2I bear them witness that they have a [certain] zeal and enthusiasm for God, but it is not enlightened and according to [correct and vital] knowledge. 3For being ignorant of the righteousness that God ascribes [which makes one acceptable to Him in word, thought, and deed] and seeking to establish a righteousness (a means of salvation) of their own, they did not obey or submit themselves to God’s righteousness. 4For Christ is the end of the Law [the limit at which it ceases to be, for the Law leads up to Him Who is the fulfillment of its types, and in Him the purpose which it was designed to accomplish is fulfilled. That is, the purpose of the Law is fulfilled in Him] as the means of righteousness (right relationship to God) for everyone who trusts in and adheres to and relies on Him. 5For Moses writes that the man who [can] practice the righteousness (perfect conformity to God’s will) which is based on the Law [with all its intricate demands] shall live by it.(A) 6But the righteousness based on faith [imputed by God and bringing right relationship with Him] says, Do not say in your heart, Who will ascend into Heaven? that is, to bring Christ down; 7Or who will descend into the abyss? that is, to bring Christ up from the dead [as if we could be saved by our own efforts].(B) (Amplified Version, emphasis added)
As a close for this post, blinding zeal may feel right, it may sound right, it may even look right to those inside of WOFF and to some outside of WOFF. But, the result is still blindness over its captives; blindness to the true gospel of faith that the Scriptures point toward. There is a zeal that God desires for us that does not lead us to behave like or believe that “we could be saved by our own efforts”. It has been a process to unlearn the wrong things taught and practiced at WOFF and then find the rest of faith and enjoy the peace meant for the true Christians. It is a process, it is a journey.
Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog. Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.
Look on the right side of any post for the option to subscribe by email for notifications or RSS feeds notifying of new postings. It is a great feature. Also, find more posts by selecting “Categories”.
(Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. ) Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 291.