As I start this post, I do not fully know the direction it will take or the content it will have when I finish. Many times, I outline a rough draft of a post at least in my mind before I even begin typing. This time is different. It is my usual time to write, after 1:00AM. This place seems intensely quiet as the rolling menagerie of the day seems to fade in and out. The reflections of the past and the present seem to roll over and over in my heart and mind. The future is a hope and a budding dream that unfolds one day, one week, and one month at a time.
During these last few days, I must admit an aversion to writing for this blog. That must be obvious as the frequency of the posts has dwindled since the end of April. Those that follow close are not surprised as I am passing through another crossroads in my life. Contrary to the claims of some, my time at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) has a lot of bearing on this crossroads, this time of reflection and place of decision. Let me explain.
My first encounter with WOFF and Jane Whaley was the May seminar of 1992. WOFF members have taken the week of Memorial Day to have “seminars” since before I was even a part of the group. As far as I know, this will continue as the reasoning has been “our members are already off work”, it is easier to get together and hear God. This week long “seminar” has traditionally served as the last week of classes for the school children. May has been an exciting month for WOFF members in the past. The first seminar I attended held such a wide range of emotions and feelings. It was my first exposure to such a large group participating in “blasting and deliverance”. Later, the term “loud prayer” would be used to lessen the effects of the term “blasting”. It also was my first experience in seeing who ran WOFF- Jane Whaley. That was obvious from the very first meeting(s).
In 1992, we attended the Greenville church that was a sister church to WOFF, but the group was smaller and the prayer was much less intense. It was either the first week of that 1992 May seminar or one of the ones to follow that summer; we found ourselves living out of a suitcase at the Comfort Inn with a two-year old. See, WOFF has traditionally had a seminar in May, one in July and them one in August. Anyone who wants to be “in the move of God” attends those seminars. Back then, you did your best to get off work and attend all meetings. If you missed a meeting, you could miss what God was saying! That week was strange and yet full of new experiences. Back then, there were three meetings a day and each one was full of loud prayer and sweat. You can just imagine. If I remember right, first meeting at 9:00AM, second at 2:00PM and third at 7:00PM. (?)
We ended up at WOFF by ending up at the Greenville church. My wife had known the pastors of the Greenville church for many years and that relationship led us to Greenville in March of 1992. During those first few months, we heard about “what God was doing in Spindale”. We heard about Jane and Sam Whaley. But, we had no idea the events that would lead us to move to Spindale in 2002. The years in Greenville were “practice” compared to what lay ahead for us in 2002. After moving inside WOFF, we began to experience much of the daily WOFF-life and found it to be much more intense than life in Greenville. It was easy to get swept up and into WOFF so that you only knew WOFF members, you only worked around WOFF members, you only spent time with WOFF members. Contact with family outside of WOFF lessened and lessened until it seemed arduous to even visit them. After all, “they were not walking where we were walking- in the move of God.” After moving inside WOFF, the constrictions of the lifestyle were more blatant and obvious. But, for sure a faithful WOFF member would not call the constrictions a bad thing. These new restrictions were “how God’s people lived”. We were “in the move of God”. The restrictions would keep coming as God would reveal His will and His ways… We did not want to live segmented lives as GS had warned in several of his sermons. No, all parts of life needed or would eventually become centered around and through WOFF. Thus our lives became dependent on how Jane Whaley interpreted God’s will. Regular members could rarely if ever hear God’s will for themselves. Then if they tried, they would be cautious and submitted enough to “check it out with Jane” and see if they had heard God. After all, if it was never said, it was certainly implied with practice that Jane Whaley hears God perfectly every time.
Yes, I appear to be rambling. But recently, I have reflected many times on the question – how could something that started out with an overall positive feeling turn out so wrong and harmful? In my search for answers, I have to face the reality that is before me now, not just the memories of the past or the possibilities of the future minus my close family that remains inside WOFF. During last few months, I have had contact with several survivors of WOFF. I also hear about other survivors even though I may not have spoken to them directly. Each had left WOFF at different times and had been out for varying lengths of time. Some were there at the same time, some were not. The common thread to them all is that none of them emerged from WOFF totally whole and without some sign of “WOFF-trauma”. Symptoms of “WOFF-trauma” could range from an aversion to organized churches to trying all the “forbiddens” taught in WOFF to losing contact with WOFF friends and relatives and just feeling lost, lonely and depressed or hopeless. Some come out of WOFF and their adjustment period is short, some take a while to adjust and find their new normal. Others may have lingering dreams and/or what I call WOFF-plays for months or years after leaving. A WOFF-play is a replay of a certain series of events that occurred inside WOFF with either a true ending that actually happened or a new ending that they wish would happen. These WOFF-plays can bring intense emotions and sometimes great anxiety. Sadly, we cannot change the past, we can only make better decisions and decide to press ahead into a better future- away from WOFF.
These common experiences of WOFF survivors beg certain questions. Since those who leave WOFF experience many of the same signs of emotional WOFF-trauma does that mean it is only characteristic of those who leave or could/would at least some or MANY of those still in the group have these signs of emotional trauma, now? How would we know? Could/would Jane have motive to cover up such problems or ignore them or deny they even exist? How would Jane benefit from ignoring or renaming these problems and the resulting situations? Would these signs of trauma be seen by Jane for what they truly are and be treated with the proper professional care or would they be indications that that member has “devils” and needs more blasting and deliverance? Do the ailments of those inside WOFF whether mental or emotional get proper treatment or are they ignored and swept under the carpet in Jane’s office? Is the WOFF environment a healthy place conducive to balanced and proper mental health? Is WOFF a place for mental soundness free of unhealthy fears? Does that seem likely? For those who know about WOFF-life from the inside or from observing the group dynamics from the outside: what do you think?
From my research, a Jane Whaley induced WOFF-trauma is no unique thing. Other survivors of other religious cults or controlling religious groups experience the same or similar events and symptoms. In previous posts, I have used the book, “Recovery From Cults” – Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse– Edited by Michael Langone- (copyright © 1993 American Family Foundation – ISBN 0-393-31321-2) as a resource. In the Introduction, the author has a section titled: “Post-cult Needs and Problems”. I will restate a few of the observations, but recommend those who desire to know more to purchase the book and read further.
Langone writes, “When they join a cult, a significant number of changes will occur. They will be exploited and abused, some terribly so, others only mildly so. They usually miss out on important life experiences; for example, many drop out of college when they join or give up vocational or artistic pursuits or remain celibate contrary to their pre-cult intentions.” (page 10) WOFF member miss out on family events (holidays for example…) with those outside the group, especially for those family members who express any doubt about Jane. “They are indoctrinated to believe that disagreement with or doubt about the group’s teachings or practices is always their fault, as are any personal problems (e.g. “You are depressed not because the meditation we prescribe is inadequate but because you are not meditating enough”.) [Substitute WOFF-prayer for “meditation” here and you get a better picture. Or WOFF leadership may tell a struggling member you are not “in the WORD enough” or “submitted enough” or “your heart is not open- what are you hiding?”]
“The very core of their sense of self is attacked as deficient. (Ofshe and Singer, 1986) (page 10-11) I must stop here and mention other WOFF phrases such as “die to self” along with using the Scripture John 5:30 to help attack the sense of self:
30I am able to do nothing from Myself [independently, of My own accord–but only as I am taught by God and as I get His orders]. Even as I hear, I judge [I decide as I am bidden to decide. As the voice comes to Me, so I give a decision], and My judgment is right (just, righteous), because I do not seek or consult My own will [I have no desire to do what is pleasing to Myself, My own aim, My own purpose] but only the will and pleasure of the Father Who sent Me. John 5:30 (Amplified Version, emphasis added)
We heard it over and over to the extreme: “After all, if Jesus could do nothing from himself, what makes you think you can do anything of yourself? Jesus had to be taught by God, so do you! ” In WOFF, Jane acts as God and hears God for her members – so this passage was used to “lock people in” to Jane and her counsel- only. This “Godly counsel” over-ruled and sense of self or ability to make your own decisions or THINK FOR YOURSELF! What a “sin” that was inside of WOFF!
We continue, “They (cult members) become extremely dependent on the group’s leadership for sometimes ridiculously minor decisions. (at WOFF: like the direction of the toilet paper roll!) They are subjected to high and sometimes impossible and contradictory demands, which tend to leave them feeling like failures. Yet they are commanded not to express any negativity that may reflect badly on the group. When they leave, for whatever reason, they will tend, as do victims of other forms of abuse (Boulette and Anderson, 1986) to believe they left because something was wrong with them. (page 11)
Oh, how this is conditioned in WOFF member even BEFORE anyone decides to leave. Jane makes it clear that Judases leave, those who can’t walk with God or fulfill their call or choose the devil or want their sin or whatever she thinks of to blame on others rather than to suppose for one minute that the DYSFUNCTION lies with her and what she teaches her minions. Since Jane’s world revolves around her- she could NEVER be the problem. She could never destroy lives or relationships. In Jane’s world she is perfect- just observe and see.
“Therefore, ex-cultists must be educated about the dynamics of cult control and exploitation, not only so they can recover from the adverse effects of their cult experience, but also so they will know what kind of help they require. Otherwise they may waste much time, effort, money, and unnecessary suffering (WOFF-plays) pursuing false explanations of their problems, for example with a psychotherapist who doesn’t appreciate the power and influence of cultic environments.”(page 11) This statement is one reason I continue to post. Seeking answers helps me and I hope it is a help to others.
“Life’s challenge to ex-cult members is daunting. It is not surprising that many make the partial adaptation by denying the cult experience, by weaving a web of revisionism or forgetfulness around the pseudo-personality of the cult… There is no escaping its effects. Consequently, if it not properly understood, it cannot be properly managed… Hundreds of thousands of former cult members struggle alone…. Ex-cultists are not merely misguided or troubled seekers. They are victims. Overlooking or minimizing the noxious role of the cultic environment, regardless of the degree and nature of pre-cult psychopathology, will lead to victim blaming, not to victim assistance”. (page 12, emphasis added)
Since my time at WOFF was over in July of 2008, I have encountered several who did not understand or even try to understand the controlling dynamics of being in a cult such as WOFF. I believe the outward shell of a church building tripped up some and still does to a large degree. After all, it is a church, right? It has to be like “my church” and we are all normal. So, what is wrong with you? Can’t take someone teaching the Bible? Many times their unwillingness to learn and the resulting ignorance led them to wrong conclusions about ex-cult members. This ignorance was reflected in the attitude of “just snap out of it” or “shake yourself and wake up” type comments. In honesty, I shy away from being associated with victimhood in any form. I hesitate because I don’t want to use the past life at WOFF as an excuse to not move on and grow as a person. My being an ex-cult member is no reason to stop believing in God. We must press on and not give-up. If former members of WOFF or any other cult give-up and quit seeking answers or quit believing then Jane wins. From all outward appearances, in my opinion, Jane wants to be god to her members and not let them have peace and truly know God. Who wants to settle for that? If we former members get stuck in WOFF-plays and never come out of the WOFF-trauma, then it is as if we are still in Jane’s control and standing in the hallway outside her office waiting for her work her spell over us one more time. I for one do not want that any longer. Do you?
Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog. Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.
Look on the right side of any post for the option to subscribe by email for notifications or RSS feeds notifying of new postings. It is a great feature. Also, find more posts by selecting “Categories”.
(Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. ) Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 289.