Recently, I came across a blog site that lists many resources for those who may suspect they are in a spiritual abuse situation and need answers. The blog title is – “Provender- A Clearinghouse of Sources on Spiritual Abuse and Cult-Like Practices in Churches”. This blog has very good information and also lists several other sites for sources and help. I have not reviewed the entire list or all the resources mentioned, but have been excited about the ones I have viewed. The post that first caught my attention was titled- “Are you covering for a spiritually abusive pastor?” It shows being written be the author of the blog and posted July 9, 2009. The resource link is found here: http://pureprovender.blogspot.com/2009/07/are-you-covering-for-spiritually.html

   For this post, I will quote several of the warning signs listed and compare them to my experience at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). Did I cover for an “spiritually abusive pastor”? If I did that- is it still going on today? Do members of WOFF cover Jane Whaley as she may be described in the following list? I will not be able to list every warning sign mentioned as the author lists 20 things to consider. But, we will take several and comment.

   From the post link above:

 1. You’ve noticed a pattern of people leaving the fellowship, but you hesitate to ask your pastor about it and don’t like to delve into the reasons behind the exits. – While at WOFF, we were instructed not to talk among ourselves about the ones that had left. Why? We might learn something. If you had a question or comment, you were required to go to Jane and ask her personally about the ones who had left. That requirement kept people from talking among themselves about the ones who left. Jane had that base covered- literally.

3. You excuse your pastor’s wrong behavior: He’s young (or he’s old), he doesn’t understand the people who are unhappy, he has a little trouble relating to people, he’ll grow out of it, I’m probably not seeing the whole picture, God will show him his weaknesses and he’ll handle things better soon, no pastor is perfect in every way, he’s such a good preacher that we can overlook the other parts of his calling. During my time at WOFF, if I had not “excused” the rude, unmannerly, angry, combative and otherwise haughty behaviors of Jane Whaley, I could not have stayed. So, yes, I am guilty of that one. I told LB, the same one from the post about the “Great Wall”; that I only stayed because of the teaching. By that point, many things were bothering me about WOFF life.

4.  You find yourself blaming victims. You justify harsh behavior by your pastor by focusing on the sins or weaknesses of those who are shamed or shunned or criticized or punished. Yes, while I was at WOFF, it was easier to blame the folks that left as being weak, or “full of sin” than taking time to ascertain if any of the accusations were true or valid. Believing that those who left “did not love God” was easier than thinking that something could be wrong with Jane or WOFF-life. Yes, I am guilty of that one. Is anyone else guilty of that one?

5. You feel that to protect the name of Christ in your community you need to keep secret the alarming behavior by your pastor or leaders in the church. This was made quite clear at WOFF. As a member, you were told that those outside in the community “would not understand God’s ways” and it was best to not share the things that went on at WOFF. After all, to do so would “loose an attack at the move of God”. During one service that several couples announced their engagements and several others sought approval from Jane to have a friendship, Jane specifically said –“Don’t go out talking about this service.” Okay, I am guilty here, too. But, another member, GC was not keeping it quiet. During the service, he called his son in Chicago and told him since he left WOFF; he had missed his chance for God’s plan for a relationship. Jane was not happy with GC.

6. You feel it’s your duty to think the best of your pastor, no matter what charges are brought against him (but you don’t extend the same courtesy to those who feel they’ve been abused or harmed). Well, so far, I am guilty on all this. If I had not “believed the best” about Jane, how could I have stayed all those years? Haven’t you heard Jane teach on 1:Cor.13:4-8? That applied in practice to WOFF members that stayed or anyone else that may become a WOFF member in the future. NOT those who left and showed no remorse or regret or even talked about what really went on at WOFF. As a WOFF member, you could not stop and consider that anyone leaving WOFF was telling the truth about what happened to them. If you stopped to do that- your own WOFF fantasy could crumble. You just might have to face some real unpleasant facts.

7.  You feel it’s okay for your pastor to build up your church by criticizing other churches with “inferior” doctrines or practices, but it’s not okay for anyone to question decisions by church leaders if it looks like criticism. As far as I know, this writer has not ever been a WOFF member. But, they are describing WOFF-life pretty well. Does anyone remember the May seminar when Jane showed the TV preachers and told us all why “they were not walking with God and teaching error”? And who ever thought that questioning Jane was allowed? Yes, Jane may bring your question before the congregation, but, she never admitted any wrong or “sin”. She only apologized for mispronouncing names as far as I remember. That was supposed to be a big deal for her to admit that!

11. You would feel uncomfortable asking to see financial records of the church and you are willing to just assume that they are being used in a godly manner. We have covered this here on this blog many times. You can ask about the finances like OC did. He was lambasted and put back in his place – but, quick. So, yes, I felt uncomfortable asking about the finances. Guilty. Anyone else?

12. You feel constant pressure to help more in church or to give more, or both. Yes, I felt the pressure, but, a WOFF member can only do so much and they have to sleep some time. After all, there was an official reason to go to church every day but Saturday. Well, even some Saturdays there were functions at the church. During the recent years of WOFF, Jane has advocated everyone who could to take a nap on Sunday afternoon. What a “blessing”! One doctor at WOFF was asked if he took a nap on Sunday afternoons. He replied, Nap? That is what I do from midnight to 4AM. I don’t have time for a nap on Sunday. We chuckled because his answer had a note of truth for everyone. Sleep was not a priority for the most part, especially in the early years of my time at WOFF. And did anyone except me feel the pressure to “give more”? Some services they would pass the plated until everyone heard God on what to give and we met the budget! Yes, guilty.

16. You often feel a little bit superior to Christians who don’t witness as much as you, or who don’t practice their faith as well as you, or who don’t emphasize certain doctrines as much as you do. Well, the list goes on and I realize while I was at WOFF I covered for Jane and her abuses. I was able to cover them because I first lied to myself and reasoned away her self-serving, egotistical goofery. At WOFF, it was said and I said nothing in response: “We know there are others out there with truth; we just have not found them yet.” Anyone else think WOFF was special when you were there?

17. You feel that no one quite understands the scriptures or delivers sermons or reaches out to the weak and poor like your pastor does. Yes, we covered that. I cannot say Jane reached out to the weak and poor. But, I thought for years she had some was correct about certain scriptures. Yes, I thought Jane and WOFF was just a cut above some others. But, I do not think that to be the case now.

18. You spend much time defending your pastor, either in your own mind or to others. Who among the former WOFF member would deny this one? I will not deny it. Defending Jane to those who questioned was not a part-time job; it required full-time effort, if only in your own mind.

20. You are exhausted. I should note that being exhausted at WOFF was rarely talked about. It was somewhat of a badge of honor to deny yourself sleep in order “to do the will of God”. We would ebb and flow. Sometimes Jane would tell everyone to go home and rest. It seemed like that happened when she was tired. She would tell us NOT TO CALL HER. At other times, we would be goaded into doing overnight watch and “work projects” until all hours of the day and night. These scenarios only accounted for the physical exhaustion. We have not mentioned the mental exhaustion of just being in WOFF and trying to survive the drama-trauma of everyday WOFF-life.

   We have not covered all of the points made by the author of the post. But, I am admitting here that I was guilty during my time at WOFF of covering for a “spiritually abusive pastor”. Actually, if you did not go along with the supporting fantasies that were holding up the foundation of WOFF, you could not stay a member very long. To admit that something was amiss or needed correction within Jane’s framework of operating was risky at best.

  The author begins the concluding paragraph with these words: “If many of these items speak to you, it might be a good idea to evaluate what your role in your church really is. Are you providing a constant stream of “narcissistic supply” for your pastor?” So, I must admit that even in my role at WOFF as a regular member and not leadership, I can see where I helped Jane with her “narcissistic supply”. I overlooked the obvious, questioned very little, I gave into the offerings, and I was in a chair and allowed my family to go the same route. Can anyone else relate to my deep regrets for doing these things?

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In closing, I want to share a link to the obituary of Jane’s mother, Blanche Brock. She passed away July 2, 2011.

 http://www.obitsforlife.com/obituary/363722/Brock-Blanche.php

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  Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog. Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.

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       (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. ) Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 312.