“Yes, I’ve been very preoccupied with the survivor all through my work”. – Robert Jay Lifton
(source link- http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/r/robertjayl375345.html )
We have quoted Robert Lifton in previous posts. His research work included studying survivors of POW camps during the Korean War as well as the survivors of Hiroshima and returning Vietnam War Veterans. His work on thought reform and study of brainwashing has been a foundation for understanding mind control and its effects. He also studied the Nazi doctors and the psychology of genocide. I hope to learn more about his work in that area and relate it to his work on thought reform. His work is a part of the Holocaust picture I had not previously considered or learned about.
After being under what I now believe were very developed and effective mind control techniques used at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) by Jane Whaley and her leadership, I consider myself a survivor. No, I did not realize that what I was going through was mind control and thought reform. But, how many victims of an environment like WOFF actually know with clarity what is happening to them? For years, I knew I had problems with some of the methods, but, I suppressed my doubts long enough for at least some of the controls to work. I attended my first service at WOFF in May of 1992. My last time on the grounds of WOFF was June 6, 2008 in the evening. Since I was involved for so long a time, I would be a fool to not admit that some of the mind control methods had an effect on my thinking and way of life. It is only after I left and began to research thought control and other cult groups, that I was able to see the similarities of the practices between WOFF/Jane Whaley and other groups.
While a member of WOFF, the techniques of control were either denied as control or labeled as “God’s ways”. Does that surprise anyone? Shunning, public rebuke and information control were all labeled as “the ways of God” or for those who “walk in the Spirit”. We have listed these techniques in previous posts, the introduction of which is found here… Thought Reform? At WOFF? (1)- https://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=3225 The purpose of this post is not to go over the mind control techniques, but, only to reference the fact that I am a survivor of them.
One of the hardest lessons I have learned as a survivor is that not everyone wants to hear my story. Some do not care and some want to deny that WOFF is a religious cult group. Some say I am crazy for writing this blog and holding my signs and whatever else I do to tell of my time in WOFF. One former member has accused me of just wanting to stir pity for myself. As far as I know, that is not true. I want warn others to stay away and be a help to those that want to leave WOFF or any other similar group. To me, that is the mark of a survivor and not a victim. Let me explain.
Michael Lagone writes the following in “Recovery From Cults” – Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse– Edited by Michael Langone- (copyright © 1993 American Family Foundation – ISBN 0-393-31321-2) “They (cult members) become extremely dependent on the group’s leadership for sometimes ridiculously minor decisions. They are subjected to high and sometimes impossible and contradictory demands, which tend to leave them feeling like failures. Yet they are commanded not to express any negativity that may reflect badly on the group. When they leave, for whatever reason, they will tend, as do victims of other forms of abuse (Boulette and Anderson, 1986) to believe they left because something was wrong with them. (page 11)
Lagone is saying that those who leave cults act like other victims who have been abused. Those who leave think something is wrong with them! That is a victim mindset. For sure, those who are victims did not choose to be a victim – that is part of the definition as events and circumstances are put upon folks. No one actually chooses to be a victim of a cult. Members are deceived into joining cult groups. However, when a person leaves a controlling group of any type, there is a choice to make. Will I stay a victim and think as a victim? Will I continue to believe something is wrong with me; that was why I left that group? Or will I progress and learn and take steps to understand how I became a victim?
I can remember the days shortly after leaving WOFF in July of 2008- three years ago- this week! I would frequently take walks for my health, both mental and physical. Some time shortly after leaving WOFF, I remember getting these thoughts – I am not afraid of the Pope- Why? It was because, I was not Catholic. Why should I be afraid of Jane- I was no longer a WOFF member. I also had the thoughts that I was “too weak” to take the shunning, isolation and was too rebellious to be a WOFF member “in the move of God”. To those thoughts, some at WOFF may say, yes. After I learned what the “ways of God” really were at WOFF, I was so glad I left. Once I learned that the way Jane controlled and bullied and screamed was not the way a true minister would act, then I had no regrets for leaving her web of deceit. I do regret not being able to talk to the family and friends still under Jane’s control.
Looking back I had a choice to make. Will I stay a victim and use my past as an excuse to stay wounded and beat down? Or will I admit my past, seek answers and push forward? It was such a struggle to admit that I had been in a religious cult. When I first was able to admit it and let others know about it, it was an unsure time. How would people react? Would they accept me or reject my story? Over time, it came to not matter what others thought or said. I learned I cannot change my past. With understanding and support, I can change my attitude about the past and make changes for the future.
So, considering the whole picture, we did not choose to be victims, but, we choose to be survivors. Over time, I have learned that my struggles are not the worst ones ever known, but, they are my struggles which I must overcome. During my time at WOFF, I suffered a slight heart attack that changed my life forever. I had to choose to change and in reality, keep making the right choices every day to keep those needed changes in my life. After I left WOFF, I was diagnosed with melanoma. The area of concern had been present during my time at WOFF and I neglected it. Again, I had to make changes, go through treatments and press ahead. Subsequent to that diagnosis, I have had another medical diagnosis that has caused me even more choices to make. Most recently, my wife of 23 years, who remained in WOFF divorced me. So, every day I must choose to press ahead. Will I be a victim and think like a victim after all of these struggles? Will I make daily choices to be the survivor I know I need to be. Each of us has struggles and the events in life may knock us down. But, we make the choice to leave the victim thinking behind and press forward.
After being out of WOFF for a few months, I remembered that before WOFF, I was a man seeking God and His plan. Why should that stop just because I fell among thieves and robbers? It is my choice how I approach the future and if I will let the past totally dictate my daily direction. I will always have the scars and the memories from the past. But, will the scars and memories own me and determine the course of my life? A stagnant victim will not learn from the past- only moan and groan and seek to excuse the lack of growth, healing and movement forward.
Hopefully, in the days and years ahead, I will be the survivor I was meant to be- by God’s grace. How about you? Have you delayed your growth by stuffing your past and not acknowledging it? From what I can tell if we hide the past and its true nature and one day it will come back full circle to claim us in our weakened state. Going forward, I pray I will be able to continue learning, growing and helping others. Yes, there have been family relationships severed and family relationships renewed. Living as a survivor is not all joy; it is all worth it to leave the prison of WOFF and the “dungeon of Jane’s freedom”. Why is it a dungeon? That is because only Jane has the key to a WOFF member’s “salvation”. Present WOFF members can deny it if you would like. You may complain and seek to argue a different assessment of WOFF-life. But, the truth is Jane Whaley only pretends to be a pastor, teacher or apostle or prophet – why? Because- true ministers of God do not have to rely on the arm of the flesh administered with fear controls to “guide” and keep their flocks.
Survivors will survive. A couple of Scriptures come to mind when thinking of being a survivor.
Psalm 37:23-25 Amplified Bible (AMP)
23The steps of a [good] man are directed and established by the Lord when He delights in his way [and He busies Himself with his every step]. 24Though he falls, he shall not be utterly cast down, for the Lord grasps his hand in support and upholds him.
Proverbs 24:16 – Amplified Bible (AMP)
16For a righteous man falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked are overthrown by calamity.
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Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog. Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.
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(Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. ) Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 318.