So many thoughts and reflections during this day, I really don’t know where to start. During many days I have come across short scenes or incidents that remind of my past days and the many lost relationships. For instance, there are some songs that I just can’t listen to on the radio. That does not mean the songs are evil, it just means they remind me of treasures lost; previous times in a foggy memory somewhere back there. When hearing the song, the memories come forward from the cloudy past and shout at me. Does that make sense?

   Tonight, while driving home, I happened upon a radio station where a well known preacher was explaining his point from a Scripture. At this moment, it does not matter the Scripture or the point he was trying to make. Just realizing that I was listening to a preacher on the radio expounding on some Scripture reminded me first of what a forbidden sin that was at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). Listening to the radio in your car was evil- period. Even worse was listening to another religious speaker from outside WOFF!  RL was castigated and threatened with church discipline or worse for this suspected sin, plus, the fact that his wife found a newspaper under the front seat of his truck! He tried to explain he was “just reading the sports scores”. That sent Jane Whaley into another orbit as her volume elevated to paint -peeling heights! Several jumped as she screamed some of her trademarked announcements meant to bring fear upon us all. And here I was partaking of just such a “sin”.

   It was there that I began to ponder the emotional destruction and traumatizing dangers of being in a religious cult. For those that read this blog regularly, you know my experience has been with Word of Faith Fellowship. Though I have read of others and have documented the obvious similarities between WOFF and other cults, my “expertise” stems from my hands-on, up-close, inside day to day observations of Jane Whaley, her leadership, and the other regular members. I was never considered “inside the leadership circle” but, no matter, my perspective is still valid and reflective of life as a “regular member”. For those that attempt to still excuse the WOFF environment as “safe”, I only ask you to read other posts found here; other informative websites on religious cults and the many accounts of other previous members. Can every former member of WOFF be “of the devil”, God-haters, traitors, a “Judas” or lying?

   For me, the whole bank of memories from that time serves as a reminder that “No one joins a cult…” That which seemed good, turned out to be not good. Those who were set-up to represent God  and God’s ways in my life- turned out to be repeating what they had been taught as “God’s ways” and in my efforts to “believe the best about every person”; I give many of them a pass as cogs in the machine of Jane’s controlling, legalistic, self-serving, matriarchal, pyramidal religious structure. I have seen and heard other former members of WOFF speak and share their own individual memories, traumas and losses. Over time, it grows less sensational, but, none the less heartbreaking and sad.

    Recently, a former member shared her perspective after reading the post about Morgan Sample and the efforts needed to force WOFF to return her personal property. Cheryl wrote, “…no matter how much time passes things there never really change!! I have been gone for 13 years, and here is a story that could have been written 13 years ago; different person, different articles, same kind of sad story. I have known people that left with nothing but the clothes on their back and (they) were so glad to be gone never even thought about trying to get anything back, just let them have it!!! There is a testimony to not be that proud of!!” Oddly enough, Cheryl’s comments were echoed by another former member who has been gone for a while. He chuckled when we talked about the post, “nothing ever changes, same old story”… I was taken aback. He was right and I just had not pieced it together in that way. What seemed new to me was really old. As the tide comes in for new WOFF members, so the tide recedes taking other members away! The tides of WOFF are not as predictable as the ocean, but, the effects are the same.

   For many WOFF members including myself, in the midst of “good times”; you believed you were right where God wanted you! There may have been some small nagging doubts about WOFF-life, some slight nudging at the outer edges of your mind or corners of your heart, but, they are too far from the middle of life’s experiences to warrant any significant attention. Then the winds change, the tide begins to recede and that which was once a mountain top experience becomes one valley followed by a dry sandy beach or dune followed by fog and thick mist. Why do I doubt “God” this way? Where did I get off track? Where did I close my heart to “God’s will”? Why have I cut Jane off? What is wrong with me? Why can’t I submit like Jane says I need to?  All of these questions and more can and do pound away at a member’s heart and soul when in a religious cult such as WOFF. It was Jane and her leadership’s job to repeatedly use such questions to control the regular members.  In a place such as WOFF, when a member is seen as weak or not having enough faith or not submitting to authority or rebellious or whatever else you want to call it; the problem always lies with the member- never with Jane.

    In Steven Hassan’s book, “Releasing the Bonds” (Copyright© by Steven Hassan 2000, A Freedom of Mind Press Book, ISBN: 0-9670688-0-0) he quotes Margaret Singer’s work on thought reform. Her book titled “Cults in Our Midst” (Margaret Singer and Janja Lalich, Jossey-Bass 1997) contains “Singer’s Six Conditions of Thought Reform”.  Number 5: “Creating a tight controlled system with a closed system of logic, wherein those who dissent are made to feel as though their questioning indicates that there is something inherently wrong with them.” (page 39) This is true at WOFF. Do other former members agree? Reviewing the other conditions of thought reform from Singer will be in a future post.

   Now, let’s get back to the time in the car listening to the radio. So many thoughts, coming so fast, it was hard to follow at times and remember them all. Yes, I know that WOFF and groups like them will give their members new identities. We will share more on that in a future post. But, today, in my thoughts I saw the most dangerous aspect or result from time spent in WOFF: many come out with an altered or incomplete or polluted view of who God was/is and wants to be. Today, as I considered the rules, the overt control, the spooky spiritual mysticism, the pretended spontaneous revelations and hocus-pocus conniving junk that takes place at WOFF- all under the pretended banner of a Christian Church- no wonder people leave scarred, scared and wanting nothing to do with God or those who pretend to be God’s people. Now, not all people leave with visible emotional scarring that is so obvious when you meet them. But, many do and for such obvious reasons.

   When fear is used as the means of control in the name of Christian religion under the banner of God; what do you expect? I have found that the fear used at WOFF is not God’s chosen method to nurture His people. A few months ago, while telling my story, a lady asked me- “Do you have trouble trusting people?” I told her it was like trying to jump over the Grand Canyon. That difficulty has especially been with those who are leaders in a church or exhibit some responsibility over a group of Christians.  I have not talked to all former members of WOFF. I have talked to and heard about many. The results from WOFF-life are statistically NO DIFFERENT from other RELIGIOUS CULTS. Jane Whaley’s “religion” produces many who have dreadful dreams of WOFF, fear people who act like WOFF members acted, are hesitant to enter a church building, are fearful to return to Rutherford County, will not read a Bible, don’t like going in the Wal-Mart in Forest City or other places WOFF members frequent. Many ex-cult members have a polluted picture of who God is and what he wants from them, why? If the person who was supposed to represent God’s authority in your life treated/treats you the way Jane Whaley treated/treats her members, except by the supernatural grace of God, how could/would you be able to break away from those deep images planted by Jane?

   This post may have been too rambling for some. But, by now, I hope to have conveyed my point that beyond the visible destruction of relationships, beyond the struggle to regain some sense of normalcy and stability in one’s life after you leave WOFF, in addition to the struggle to reconnect with your true identity after leaving WOFF, survivors face a much deeper, many times unseen and undetected battle. The inner questions about who God is and/or who He wants to be and their relationship to that understanding can go undetected and unrecognized. From what I have observed, my opinion is that that struggle is directly related to and an absolute consequence of WOFF-life, Jane’s narcissism and her “gift”. God, help us all. Then again, maybe it’s just me.  

   Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog. Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.

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       Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, for posts written by John Huddle, any information about WOFF is from his memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be.  Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 350.