The following material was provided by Ben McGee. He pulls back the curtain of self-protection and reveals his innermost concerns and thoughts leading up to the previously posted exit drama. Please, do not miss the transparency and the honesty with which he tells his story. These reflections should be a help to us all in managing our own host of memories- however painful they may be.

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The WOFFIA…

In order to set the time frame, let me say that these memories are from the period just two weeks before I was forced to leave.  I removed myself from the church, and would not attend regular services, but stayed in the church discipline room because I struggled with a conversation between Jane Whaley and myself.  The one statement that troubled me the most was when Jane stated that if I decided to move off church property- I would do so alone, as she began poking her finger into my chest.  I took this to mean that she was going to keep my family from me, if I attempted to move away from the church property. (I must ask- would Jesus make a threat like this?)

I struggled with this threat for some time. Pam was not present for this event.  I knew we could not afford to leave, but desired to do so and decided money or no money we were not going to stay trapped.  I wanted to discuss with my ex-wife how I felt but, she was alienated from me completely.  She would not listen to me and would go straight to the church leadership and tell them everything I had said which was a pattern already well established in our marriage.  This probably became extremely important for her after the confrontation with Jane.  I must confess I did likewise to her when she would get out of control and abusive in the past. I was afraid of her past use and abuse of drugs.

We had been taught that “true friends” expose all thoughts and actions for leadership counsel.  Children, spouses and friends were to tell church leaders if members were breaking church doctrine in thought or deed to the point of spying and prying. As a result, the CULT became the head of our household.  We were also taught to have a designated household member to get and check all mail and to filter out materials deemed ungodly by church leaders.

Money was tight as my disability income came to an end at the beginning of that year. I talked to my ex-wife about her changing jobs and going to work for National Textiles, where I had worked.  I told her she could get a stable schedule and much better pay with insurance benefits. I also reminded her we could not support seven people on her six dollars an hour pay from working at the Cafe at the Mall – with no benefits.  Pam told me she talked to Karel Reynolds about this and Karel told her to write her a note about what we were “thinking”.  Pam told me she had written the note (She did not include me on any of the notes content). She told me the reply that came back was that Karel did not know or “understand” our thinking on this.  Pam told me Liz Rose (church member and owner of the Cafe at the Mall) was going to give her a raise and make Pam her right-hand person.  I was also told by my ex-wife that the Cult leaders- Jane, Brooke, and Karel – had inquired of God to find out how much of a raise to give her. I asked myself why are they involved and Pam and I excluded from God’s counsel regarding our lives? Also, why are they involved in wages paid by a business they don’t own? In short, we were going to be told what God’s will was for our lives once again.

Wednesday April 19, 2000

I had separated myself from the church services completely at this point and refused to take the children to church services. I called Pam to tell her this while she was at work. I told Pam that if she wanted them to go to church that she would have to come home and take them herself.  Risa Sudano, a cult member and teacher at the local college came to the house and took the children to the church about ten minutes later.

Thursday April 20, 2000

Pam went to work in the morning, and I decided to take the children to Crowe Park in Forest City.  I called Pam at work to tell her this, which she stated it was ok, but, she told me to “lock in” with Karel Reynolds (church leader) about my plans.  I didn’t feel obligated to ask for permission from church leaders to go to the park since she did not have any problem with this.  I said ok, but after getting off the phone I got busy tending to the children’s needs.  Ten minutes later Cindy Fields (church member) called and said she would like to take Kerrie my younger daughter to Hollywild to get a piece of jewelry she had lost. I said that was ok with me.  Bethany, my older daughter felt jealous about this and I called Cindy back and told her this.  She said she would take her as well and I told her this was ok. Then, after getting off the phone Benjamin (son) felt jealous of his sisters leaving, also.  I called Cindy back and explained to her that I was going to take them to the park as I had planned to because the children had peace before she called.  They wanted to go, I got them ready and left for the park.

I stopped to get two large sodas to drink at a Drop-in store.  Then we proceeded to the park.  On arrival, I let the children out to go play, of course staying with them.  About five minutes later Cindy came to the Park and told me that it was not God’s Will for the children to be at the park.  I did not argue or pursue the matter with her and did not understand why or how.  The only church rule I had heard about parks was ‘”not to take children to parks at public schools” because, “they may become jealous of the church’s lack of playground equipment.”(This was spoken by Jane Caulder from the pulpit)  I took the children home to play.

Friday April 21, 2000

Before my now ex-wife left for work, she made arrangements for Bethany and Kerrie to go to other church member’s homes without talking to me first.  I said nothing about this.  It was agreed by both of us that Benjamin would stay home and take a nap.  Pam left and did not tell me where she would take the girls.  I laid Benjamin in our bed and decided to take a nap also.  He had not fallen asleep yet when a short time later, Pam came storming in the house and removed Benjamin from the bed.  I asked her what was going on and she said that Lisa Reynolds (cult puppet) wanted Benjamin to stay at the church office.  Pam also took Benjamin’s blanket and pillow.  I asked if he was going to take a nap at the church.  Pam said she did not know. I felt that this had something to do with my taking the children to the park without cult’s blessing.  I decided to go for a walk at 3:00pm, as it appeared to me the cult was influencing my wife’s decisions and once again causing problems between us — with interference.  I walked down to the Texaco down the road and called a former member. I asked them if they would come pick me up and they opened their home to me.

I was very troubled about what was taking place.  We talked about what had happened at my home.  As I said in an earlier post, I have been disenchanted with the teachings, rules and interference of the cult for some time as they seem to favor some and did not treat members equally.  Today’s events solidified my feelings and desire to separate my family from the church. What I did understand was that I was the one being driven away.  At 9:00pm, I was dropped off at a restaurant just across the street from the road I live on. This was so he could leave without being seen and I could return to the house.  I no longer felt like I could or should share my thoughts with my ex-wife or the leadership of the cult. Since it was cult members who were involved in separating my children from me and I feared they would do something far worse than that.  I was also concerned as to what the cult may do to the former members.

Next, I waited at home for the children to come home from Friday night fellowship at the church. For this event, all members were required to attend unless they were working.  My wife called from work at about 9:30pm wanting know where I had been.  I told my ex-wife that I walked around ICC campus for that period of time.  She said we needed to talk and that we should go out to eat after she got off work.  I said ok and read a book until Pam came home. She arrived home about 10:00 PM. There was still no sign of the children. She picked me up and drove to church office and went inside and returned to the van.  From there we drove to the Wendy’s restaurant to eat.  After eating, we went to the van and had a heated discussion as to the differences (miscommunications) that took place between us.   Not reaching agreement, we went home and she went and picked up the children while I stayed home. I assumed they had been at the church.

Saturday April 22, 2000

I awoke and prepared breakfast for the children, while Pam slept in.  She arose an hour latter about 9:00am and started to get ready for work.  About 10: 00am, she stated that Lisa Reynolds (cult puppet) had prepared a place for the children to stay. There was No Explanation Why.  I told Pam it was a beautiful day and I looked forward to spending it with the children. Yet, she insisted on taking the children and would not hear otherwise.  She asked the children if they wanted to be with me or go to be with their friends. Of course, they wanted to be with other children.  I insisted they stay with me and I told her that I would call the police if they were taken without my consent and approval or knowledge of where they were.  She put them in the van and left.

I called the Spindale police department but they told me they could do nothing as Pam had possession of the children.  I was devastated at this turn of events and could not comprehend why this was happening.  I called the former members and asked for them to come and pick me up once again.  I called my mother about this and she too was very concerned as to what was taking place.  The former member took me to the mall where my ex-wife works so I could use the van but it was not there.  We left the mall without getting out of the van and drove around to see if we could find Pam and the children.  The van was spotted at a church member’s house-the Cooper residence on Old Stonecutter Road.  Not seeing the children, we returned to their home.  I stayed with the former members until about 3pm. Then I asked to be taken back home.

Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog. Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.

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Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, for posts written by John Huddle, any information about WOFF is from his memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 390.