Many years ago, newspapers were delivered door to door often times by a young boy or girl. I don’t know maybe somewhere in this nation this still happens. In the early ’70’s, it was very common. I was ten years old when I took my first paper route. There were no more than about 30 to 35 customers. But, it was a big deal to me. I still remember my first few weeks as my Dad would get me up and walk with me to the place where the truck had dropped the papers earlier in the morning. I can still remember the exact location and have thought of it in years past as I passed through Radford, Va. We picked up the papers about 6:15AM and off we went to deliver them – door to door. This was quite a big deal for a ten year old boy. The papers first came wrapped with a cotton string. Every morning, I would cut the string and save it. Why? I am not sure. But, I kept the string and began a ball. Later, the papers would come wrapped in wire and then in plastic ties. It was impractical to save wire or plastic, but the string made a great souvenir.

Over the years, the ball of string went with me as I moved from place to place. Actually, for many years it ended up in a box of other “trophies” from my childhood. Years passed and every so often there would come a purge to the box as I would release certain items as “no longer needed”. But, for years the ball of string made it through purge after purge. After I married and we had children, I would come across the ball of string and tell the story of its origin to my children. They would laugh and at least for the first few times, so would my wife. It seemed like a harmless memento from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, well you know what I mean.

So, what good was the string? I can remember two specific times when the string came in handy. First, I used the string to tie up tomato plants in a garden when we lived on Central Ave. in Mauldin, SC. Next, I remember cutting off pieces of the string and tying it in a loop. I took the loop and showed my children the string “tricks” or exercises we would do as children. Remember those little games to see who could make “Jacob’s ladder” or a teacup out of the string? It took a little practice, but, I eventually was able to pass on that valuable knowledge to my children — with the help of my ball of string. Yes, there were practical uses, but, the ball of string has come to mean so much more. Let me explain.

During the first few years my family lived in Greenville, SC, we began attending services in Spindale, NC at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). The WOFF leader, Jane Whaley, would preach about generational curses and familiar spirits. One of the outcomes of this was for church members to examine their possessions and toss out anything that reminded them of previous “sins” or times of “serving the devil”. This process happened over time and many yard sales became populated with toys, clothes and items that were indicative of years where we had “not walked in God’s ways”. I look back and see that this whole process ended up changing our perception of our individual pasts. This seemingly “natural process”  set us up to believe more and more that each little thing in our lives could be “what takes us out of the move of God” and “into hell”. Previously, I wrote a post titled “Salvation Critical Issues” which explains this mindset.  The purging of our past set us up to believe everything could be a matter of life or death – heaven of hell. We lost parts of our own identity as we excused our past as evil.

As the years, past, I too would get rid of items such as books, clothes and even items from my years as a Boy Scout. But, I never got rid of the string. It seemed harmless enough. A ball of cotton string, could it be of the devil?  Today, the ball of string stays in my top dresser drawer and I look at it almost every day. If only in the back of my mind, I am reminded that I had normal childhood and all in my past was not evil. My past shaped me and I am not ashamed of it as we were taught in WOFF. No, everyone has things in their past they are not proud of, but, that is all part of growing up and learning who we need to be.

While in WOFF, many things were done to separate us from our past and cause us to take on a new identity and “teach us the ways of God”. For many, this meant leaving your home and job and moving to Spindale to “be a part of God’s people”. Because of that move, many would become more and more dependent on Jane and her practices. Relationships from the past would be discouraged as you had “common ground” with those not in the move of God and needed to break free from them. People, activities and things from your past were “holding you back from moving on with God.” It all sounded so spiritual. There certainly was pressure to “take your place in the move of God”. At times, you were told how unique you were and at other times, you were castigated for thinking or believing something that others in WOFF did not believe. After all, why would God show you a different way from all of “His children”? There was great pressure to give up your individuality and become “one of God’s Children” according to what Jane believed that meant. Looking back, it was easier for Jane to control a group of folks who were all thinking and acting as she thought they should. After all, her members should want and desire to “please God” – right?

In Steven Hassan’s book “Releasing the Bonds”- Empowering People to Think for Themselves (Copyright© by Steven Hassan 2000, Freedom of Mind Press, ISBN-0-9670688-0-0), he reviews the findings of a study done by Dr. Flavil Yeakley, a well known psychologist. In brief, his study found that in cult groups the members over time will shift to take on the personality type of the cult leader. In other groups without evidence of mind control, this shift does not take place. The study and the results are in the book “The Discipling Dilemma” which is available on the Internet- here: http://www.somis.org/TDD-01.html

Hassan writes, “Everyone has an authentic self. Although a healthy individual will grow and mature over time, his personality type should never change. Changes in personality type often indicate unhealthy social pressure that forces a person to act as if he were someone else. The results of Yeakley’s study showed that cults create this kind of pressure. It also verified the existence of a cult identity that binds and gags the authentic self like a straight jacket. In my opinion, Yeakley statistically demonstrated the effects of destructive mind control techniques. … Even people who are born into cults have an authentic self that was suppressed at birth. It is the strength of the authentic self that makes it possible ot rescue people cults years, even decades, after becoming involved in the group.”  (page 60 emphasis added)

For outsiders looking into the WOFF environment, this should help explain why WOFF members tend to act and dress alike. Many act as Jane-clones to one degree or another. Which survivor would deny the pressures inside WOFF to agree with and take on attitudes and behaviors approved by Jane? All the while thinking you were acting as Jesus would have you act. After leaving WOFF, many either search for who they were before WOFF or begin a search to find who they were meant to be – having been born into the group. For me a simple ball of string represented memories from my childhood and who I had been in years past. Though my past life was not perfect, it was still me and in many ways an indication of who I would always be. I don’t plan to get rid of the ball of string any time soon.

Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog. Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.

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Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, for posts written by John Huddle, any information about WOFF is from his memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 387.