Every so often, there are questions and thought paths that just won’t leave me until I write them, consider them and in essence explore them. The idea of “detox” after time spent at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) has become one of those ideas. Recently, the question came to me, “How can my true health be assessed when there are “toxins” in me?” Well, that led me to begin a search on just what it means to “detox” or go through a detoxification process. There are so many angles to view this subject; I will just cover a few in this post.

A simple search for “detox” will bring a list that covers a wide range of subjects. There are music albums and films which include “detox” in the title. One of the first sources listed casts doubt that the process of detoxification of the body is real and may just be a perceived benefit. Wow! There is such a varied spectrum of perspectives! I am not sure how far I will go into the whole idea. One thing I am convinced of at this point- the human body is so resilient. Think about it. People living all over the world eating such a varied assortment of food stuffs. Some of us would doubt that what people eat in certain countries should even be considered food. Somehow the body gleans nutrition of some degree from many different substances. What I question are the chemicals and substances which we ingest everyday which I can’t pronounce. Do we really understand how these chemicals travel through our bodies and if they remain in certain levels or are they completely eliminated – without help?

Next, I began to consider such substances with the long complicated names which are tasteless. Well, if they are not tasteless, they have such little flavor our taste buds don’t reject them or sound an alarm when they first reach our mouth. Are there chemicals or substances in our food that are “to protect flavor”- which are really not good for us? I am still learning and am just beginning to search for answers.

What about life at WOFF? Were there practices and beliefs that slipped past my spiritual taste buds? Were there things done “to protect the flavor” of WOFF that while they may not have been noticed, once you were there for a while, became lethal to your spiritual health? If so, how did these things go on below the awareness radar? Or if I noticed them and felt uneasy, why would I ingest them anyway?

It is would be safe to say that the most dangerous poisons are the tasteless, odorless undetectable ones- right? A few that make the list include; natural gas- odor is added to make people aware of its presence, arsenic- white arsenic is tasteless and water soluble, atropine- aka “belladonna” and extracted from the juice of the berries of the deadly nightshade bush. Thallium: Thallium sulfate is water-soluble and tasteless and they (it) take several days for the symptoms to appear and even then these are generally attributed to other illnesses. (source link- http://www.pbs.org/wnet/secrets/features/executed-in-error/the-five-top-poisons/202/ )

That list is of poisons which have been used to kill. There are poisons in other forms that just impair someone for a time in order to take advantage of them. Alcohol in some forms has been used for this purpose. There are other drugs which have been used as amnesia inducing agents to block memories of certain events. These types of drugs or poisons have been used to take control of people for undesirable purposes.

What, if anything, was done to the members of WOFF to take control of them – even if in the name of “religion”? What actions, attitudes, platitudes and/or practices at WOFF were accepted because they were “odorless” or “tasteless”? Maybe the ones ingesting the unfolding drama scenes had never been in such a “church service”. When in reality and over time, these signature practices became the poison that dulled the senses and allowed Jane Whaley and others at her direction, to take control of members – “for the call of God”? Okay, I have introduced several aspects all at once. Let’s break this down and consider this scenario in parts.

First, there is the question if Jane Whaley realizes that her unique religion, the practices which support this religion and its results have been poisonous and destructive to its adherents. The truth is we may never know what she really thinks. At first, when I left in 2008, I was still under the idea that Jane was unaware of the destruction she caused with her intense demands for supreme devotion and loyalty- to her. But, after talking to other survivors of WOFF and learning information that filled in the previously unknown gaps – I am hard pressed to believe she was/is totally unaware of the resulting destruction she causes. Now, as she doles out the poison to others, it is believable that she has had her own perception dulled by her inflamed passion to be right and never admit an error or mistake in judgment. Looking back, my “detox” on this question came with learning the previously undisclosed truth about certain events while I was still inside WOFF. The poisonous idea that Jane’s intentions and motives were always pure and holy was easy to swallow while in WOFF. Everyone else seemed to believe it. This belief, which was a strong poison for sure, was essential to staying a member of WOFF. If you were to voice a question as to Jane’s authority or pure motives, that brought with it emotional drama. It was easier to swallow and not gag on that one. Please, get a bucket before you throw-up!

Next, coming down the pyramid structure, there was the question if Sam or Robin or others close to Jane were aware of and considered the destruction that WOFF practices and beliefs caused members. The truth is we may never know what they think and how they have rationalized living as leadership in such a “church” that has been dogged by many court cases and media drama over the years. Which court case was a true victory? Which ones were withdrawn or settled and touted as victories?  How do you rationalize and tell yourself that you are truly helping folks when the price to stay anesthetized under the WOFF religion is so high and very caustic? I suspect the poisonous idea that the woman you married or your mother is perfect, comes in small doses and was ingested over many years. Sam and Robin have completely come under the spell of Jane or they are good at going along to get along. We may never know and what ever has been could change. How would either of them survive a “detox” session to rid them of the “truth” of Jane’s perfection?

It seems apparent that in order to promote the WOFF-religion there needs to be a major disconnect between the cost of membership and the perceived benefits. I know a little of this disconnect. For a time while inside WOFF, I attempted to induce others to come and join the group. Come eat, take the tasteless poison. You will eventually get used to the loud prayer and blasting. The rules? You will get used to them and if you swallow enough of the “kool-aid” culture; you will see the rules as “the way God’s people live.”  Yes, I was under it. All the while I was cringing at the prospect of being directly questioned or scoffed- “You believe this stuff? You believe WOFF is the only place to serve God?” Odd though, I have a hard time remembering any one point during my years in WOFF where every issue was settled and every question answered. Yes, even while I promoted WOFFness, I doubted WOFFness in some ways. Why? Because I knew or at least suspected, the cost of expressing doubts was too high. Just keep under the radar and don’t make waves. That decision wasted years, led to the destruction of my family and has kept many inside WOFF- living the lie. We move on.

For regular members, what were the toxins of the WOFF faith that have to be ingested – even if only a little bit at a time? We have mentioned a few here on this blog in previous posts. I will recap a few. WOFF members have to believe that outward rules reflect an inward righteousness- without Jesus. Why do I say without Jesus? Because many of the rules of WOFF reflect a concern for Jane’s perception of who others think she is or wants to be. This is a fancy way to describe legalism. Jesus plus anything is legalism, I heard a pastor say recently. If you have Jesus and have to add Jane- you are in legalism- big time! Now each member swallows the toxins of WOFF-life at their pace. Not everyone is affected the same way by the rules or other parts of WOFF-life. BUT- for certain everyone is affected!

One of the toxic attributes of WOFF-life was to believe that the shunning, harsh discipline and at times, physical beatings were always for the good of those who received them. This is assumed without knowing the circumstances, just on a blind trust in Jane that her motives are ALWAYS pure. There was also a blind trust in those who Jane trusted. This stemmed from an inability to question anything Jane did without paying a severe price. Swallow in small doses or gulp it when you first arrive, the result was the same. If you were to stay and become a faithful WOFF member, Jane was perfect.

Whether you were totally inebriated with WOFFness or just beginning you walk into the WOFF-zone, the most deceptive effect of the toxins of WOFFness was a pride that developed in your own personal holiness and the holiness of all WOFF members. This pride was strengthened when “attacks” would come from the outside and the flavor of the day was changed from one which concentrated on your failure, to the sins of outsiders and those who had left WOFF. This one side-effect of living in WOFF was in my opinion, the most deceptive and personally destructive effect of living near the holy one- Jane. The poison of her presence could serve to inflate your own perception of your holiness and cause you to overlook the questions that never left you. This aspect of the toxic life at WOFF definitely serves as a grace-inhibitor. While it may have felt good for a time to be a part of WOFF, once you leave and begin detox, you see just how living inside kept you from receiving the grace which God intends for us all.

When I first came out, I told folks I was taking everything I knew about Christianity and putting it on a shelf. Eventually, I would take what was on the shelf and examine it one piece at a time and see what was good and what needed to change or be thrown away. That was my way to describe “detox” or healing. It has been an ongoing process. One friend recently described their perspective by concentrating more on putting good things in, than taking the bad out…

In closing, I believe a detox from WOFF-life would include several areas. Also, I realize the ones I list tell more about my struggles and others would have additional areas to detox; this post has not been all inclusive. Once you leave WOFF, you would need to detox from legalism by experiencing true grace. There would be the need to detox from Jane-worship, WOFF-dress, WOFF-speak and many other areas.  Remember, living a “pleasant lie” is still living a lie.

Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog. Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.

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Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, for posts written by John Huddle, any information about WOFF is from his memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 397.