on looker….

You make the point for my next post. This may be my theme for the next few posts. I have a copy of a dissertation from the doctoral thesis of Cyndi Matthews. She has counseled and studied second generation survivors of high intensity faith groups. She has given me permission to quote from her findings. When I briefed her about Michael’s return, she was not surprised either; but for a whole different set of reasons. The work is so comprehensive; I have to consume it in small bits. However, the particulars and conclusions I believe would be of great interest to the readers here. The biggest admonition I am taking from the information right now is – don’t give up. Many participants in her study were seeking ongoing counseling after leaving their group. I will post more in the days to come..

The trauma and the teachings go deep into the survivors of WOFF. It is not always predictable when they will be drawn out and seen in our everyday lives – no matter how hard we try to ignore them.

John

Yes John, you are right I am sure there was no small measure of seduction used to reel him back in. This was one time that it was in “their favor in a big way for the wayward one to come home.” Had it not been so, they would have opened wide the door for him to get out and stay out. I have seen that one more often than the open arms for Michael. In fact, this is the first time I have ever seen that one.

Because I have been there, I am convinced that it was better for them, “main leadership ” that he come home rather than stay out, so he is at home tonight.

It is difficult to stay in a situation like that, and it is very hard to leave, irregardless of how much of a support system there is. Again, I was blessed with alot of people who had left around me, and it enabled me to see things as they were.

The longer you are out, the more you see the enviroment there for what it is, but it takes time to really get your “mind back” alot of time. For the record I had a sitution with a friend that peeled back some more healing for me last year. I was shocked, as long as I have been out, a simple statement sent me to orbit, and almost cost me one of the only true friends I have ever had. The “recording in my mind said, you were wrong before God for this.'” Thank God my friend was a true friend, and knew my background so that when I came back around and said this was said to me before in this context “of being at woff” she understood.

Because I had and have a back ground in “true Chritianity” if you will, I can come to the conclusion that God would not condemn me, nor is he the author of confusion. This is not God. True conviction changes us, does not condemn us, and God is never vague.

My point is that I have been out of woff for years and years, and there are still things that come up after all these years, from things that were taught at that time, and this particular incident came out of the blue. I had to sit down and evaluate it, then I understood oh that is because of this situation actually a teaching I was taught at woff. It is extremely difficult to heal in your mind, and especially in the beginning of leaving, so again I am not surprized that Michael is back there.

on looker,

Yes, Michael had challenges. The assertion that he was about to be homeless is not based on facts- as far as I know. Yes, the outcome of this group and many others is to develop an overwhelming emotional, physical, social and spiritual dependency that not only keeps them enslaved, but, robs them of the confidence to leave and the hope of making it outside of the closed community- which IS WOFF. Nonetheless, there are resources, both public and private who support the exit and adaptation of first and second generation survivors of high intensity faith groups into society … He had access to a few of these resources and for reasons only known to him (and maybe not actually known by him…) he reentered WOFF. I can say with extreme confidence that there was deception used on him at some level to cause him to even consider reentry into WOFF. Deception is the modus operandi of WOFF and groups like them. They cannot exist on full disclosure and honest assessment of their methods, motives and use of their money.

His taste of freedom will be hard to erase or in my hopes- will not be forgotten regardless of the “prayer” and retraining he must endure. I agree, he will be able to reevaluate his life choices as the months and years pass. And yes, there is still hope for true freedom from the oppression and suppression which is characteristic of life inside WOFF. Soon, I will post more information about some clinical studies done on second generation survivors like Michael. The information will astound some and confirm the thoughts of others… please, keep reading.
John

In short he had no life skills, no experience even making his own decisions and no support system on the outside that was enough to actually help him. He left behind everything even his own family to go off on his own. He was alone and had no real idea how to do things. Of course he went back.

Society even those who really want to help people leave there, have no idea what all that is, and the last contact I had with him , I tried to encourage him to find people that he could trust to help him through all the things that you go through when you are out. I know that he did not have the support system that I had when I left, and did not take my advise or could not take it.

His brief freemdom is enough to bring him out again, and I expect him to do just that in a few years, when he is old enough to really make it on his own, if he is ever able to do that, and I can’t imagine after this taste of freedom that we won’t hear of his leaving again sometime but maybe not. Either way he has had the taste of “freedom” and at some point will most likely make another exit plan.

Good Luck to Michael, I pray for God to Keep you where ever you end up, and maybe next time you will bring your family with you. Just a prayer of mine.