As I sit here at a very late hour, relaxing after a long day of domestic tasks, I am looking forward with bitter sweet anticipation of sharing with you the questions and insights that this past week held for me. Not every week is like this past one. Many slide by with no events to note. This week however was different. Rarely do I see such a week coming, but these last few days have been filled with serious reflections and new insights. Let me explain.

During these last few days, I have had a few opportunities to talk to Bryan Bullock, the latest survivor from Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). I have been able to ask him several questions and have not been surprised at many of the answers. At some point, I asked him if he ever witnessed people being slapped inside WOFF. He said – yes, in prayer. He went on to share other things that we may review later. But, the main question I had was if he could again confirm the physical abuses inside WOFF. Some he had seen himself, some he had not. The understanding that physical abuses continue inside WOFF did not surprise me – it just concerns me deeply every time it is affirmed.

On a similar note, a few days previous, I had taped the CNN documentary about Waco from the series titled- Crimes of the Century. My understanding of Waco and the surrounding events was shallow and not until I actually took time to watch the video did I see how intense and cataclysmic the whole drama was. The images of the compound burning were ever etched in my memory as I remember exactly where I was when those images were being broadcast across the world.

David Koresh preached an end time apocalyptic message. He dissolved all marriages and took all of the women in his group as his wives. He fathered many children and was quite proud of that. Two points in the video caught my attention. The FBI was continually shocked over the time of the standoff at how brazen and in complete control David Koresh was about the odds he faced. The FBI slowly came to understand that no matter how many of the demands of Koresh they met, he was not coming out peacefully. Some of the children were released in trade for Koresh being able to play a message on national media. After a few days, Koresh finally told the negotiators that no more children were being released because the rest of them were “his.”

After forty-nine days, Janet Reno gave the orders to end the standoff and tear gas was inserted on day 51 in hopes to cause enough discomfort that at least the mothers would bring the children out to get help. That of course did not happen. Three fires were set almost simultaneously inside the compound at different locations and the complete burning of the compound ensued. Nine adults came out on the last day, but seventy-eight bodies of men, women and children were recovered from the smoldering ruins. As the investigation into the aftermath was completed, it was discovered that “most of the children were beaten to death, stabbed or shot.” (57 min into video) As I heard this I wondered how the life of the children became so cheap to David Koresh. How could a father do such a thing and more than likely with the help of some of his followers?

After these reflections, Friday, I received an email from a couple that post a blog exposing another religious control group- New Testament Christian Churches of America, Inc. (NTCC). We have posted about this group previously. I was very glad to hear from my friends, but, saddened at the content of their email. One survivor from their group had just come forward recounting the horrors of her growing up in NTCC. She was repeatedly molested and raped by leaders in the group as well as her own father. I obtained permission to reprint some of the post written by Julie and have done so below.

The Hidden Secrets Of NTCC – Part 4 of I Have A Name

As I thought about writing what has happened to me, all I can think about is those that continue to live in silence. This may be a challenge to read I know for it is a difficult to write but the truth can’t hide behind the door no longer.

Abuse can come in all forms and it would take me a long time to put it all out there so I am going to only focus on some of sexual abuse.

I remember Michael Kekel in Tillicum, Washington. I don’t remember the whole time he was there for I was quite young but there is something I do remember.  I didn’t like him. Back then I pretty much loved all people and had no problem talking to complete strangers. Kekel on the other hand always seemed proud, stuck –up, and rude at least that is the words I would put to it now.

 He took a few pictures of me back then which is not odd in itself but what these pictures were of was strange for him to take or even keep. Like any little girl sitting in a dress modesty isn’t the first priority. Each of these pictures you could see up my dress some even seeing part of my private area. He has never let me forget he still has these pictures…

They keep telling me he is your elder obey and respect him. My parents gave most adults in my life the freedom to spank me as they saw fit. Kekel was no exception. This included flipping me over pulling up my dress and pulling down my underwear and spanking me. (This gave a lot of men free access to me)

This was just the small step into guys and sex with me.  I knew if a man told me I was in trouble a bare butt spanking was to follow. I don’t remember the name of every man that touched but I will never forget the moments. Spankings included more than just swats in many cases. I will say this there were times that swats were the only thing that happened.

St. Louis carries so many mixed emotions for me for throughout my life there were people that treated me well and those that didn’t.  It is in St.Loius that I started school. I loved my teacher but hated the principal. His name was Rudy. When I was sent to his office he would threaten me with the belt and then would touch me in weird ways. I told my mom and she just told me then be good and you won’t have to go to the office. I feared the touching more than I feared the belt.  He told me at 5 years old he had different feelings towards people then others did. He said He loved men and little girls not women. I asked him why he got married and he said they made him do it. No one believed me when I shared what he said. At the time I had no idea what that meant….

This leads me to the beginning of the sexual stuff with my father at the age of 7. At first it was just touching. He would use every reason in the book to touch. Once he said he feared a rash so called me into his room and made me take off my underwear to touch. Why would he think a rash when I had made no indication of there being an issue down there?

At this time my parents had started a new servicemen’s home in Texas which is now the Ft. Hood, Texas servicemen’s home. Many men came through that place while we were there. Some okay and some as much as a prevent as my father. (we moved to 4 different homes in my 2^nd grade year)   I think the reason for moving one of the times was I had said something to the neighbor about not liking how men touched me. This began the rule of what happens in our home stays in our home because the sinful world doesn’t understand how God wants us to live. (emphasis added)

Julie continues…

By this time so many men had spanked, touched, and had sex with me. Some of them I only knew by name Bro. others I have trouble saying or even typing their names but I will never forget the moments. I didn’t know all this was called sex until I got married. I will say this borg is led by some very power hungry and sexually driven people. It is a sexual ring that they like to put God and the church stamp on.

(Source link-  http://ntccxerblog.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-hidden-secrets-of-ntcc-part-4-of-i.html )

 Space does not permit me to reprint the entire post from Julie. Please, take time to read her story at the above link.

By the end of the week the question was ringing in my ears—when does life become cheap inside groups such as these mentioned above? When does the life of the average member, adult or child become secondary and/or of no consequence to the leader? When are members expendable? When is protection of life and even common decency of no concern to the leader and the leadership? How do groups evolve to that point? For certain the answer is complicated and I will not pretend to have all of the answers. However, I do notice common characteristics within groups where life is made cheap in the name of religion. Those common characteristics are spiritual, emotional and physical abuse.

In previous posts we have outlined instances of abuse of all three types inside WOFF. Here are some links showing such inside WOFF:

Signs of Abuse in a Church   Link to Interview with Jeff VanVonderen on Spiritual Abuse

Is Simple Assault a Vital Part of the Word of Faith Fellowship Practices? (2)

In my opinion, Jane Whaley and her leadership have become more abusive since my exit in 2008. The stories of physical abuse of survivors have become alarming to say the least. How did Jane get to the point where this is acceptable and evenly godly in her mind? I do not have a complete answer but, do think I can offer at least a partial explanation.

Regardless of what may be said to the contrary, there is a pyramid structure at WOFF. Jane is forever ensconced at the top of the pyramid. The levels immediately below contain Robin and Brooke and maybe Karel and Jayne Caulder. Somewhere in the next level would be Holly, Douglas and Sam and Ray Farmer and maybe some of the attorneys like Josh and Andrea. The levels below there may contain Gerald and Linda and Holly and Mark. From there the levels become fluid and in a state of flux depending on who is “out of the church”, in the lower building or in Jane’s favor or not for the week.

Except for the very tip top, it does not matter the names in the pyramid levels, the whole structure is ripe for abuse since it is all based on Jane’s wishes. A person’s level or value in the pyramid rises and falls according to Jane’s perception of them “walking with God.” Translated- able to support her desires and her perceptions of what she says God says for the moment in any given situation. In short- Jane says who you are when you are until you are something or someone else at a new level of walking with God or in rebellion and out of the church. That pretty much sums it up about the structure. Religious groups who employ this type of pyramid structure have by nature the tendency to cheapen life based on the leader’s desires.

 Nowhere in the pyramid structure is it recognized that we were created equal. If it is said that all are the same inside WOFF, it cannot be proven by the inward dynamics. There is a definite pecking order.   

These understandings about Waco, NTCC and WOFF all converged into an epiphany of sorts. While each group recruits with the idea that those who join their group will be special and above the rest of the world and certainly above the rest of Christianity; the actual truth of the matter is that if that group lasts long enough and follows in the pattern that others have evolved; the life of each member below the leader will be cheapened and expendable and subject to severe abuse. The lives of the members of Koresh’s group were cheap to Koresh. He counted them of less value than his reputation as a prophet. The life of Julie inside NTCC was certainly proven cheap and of no real value to the leaders who abused her.

And certainly WOFF members have to continually resolve the evidence they see with their own eyes which contains the abuse of others and/or themselves; resolve that with the promises by Jane and Sam that they are God’s chosen and are walking with God in a higher place than ever before. Consciously or subconsciously, each member has to resolve the abuses witnessed with the message proclaimed. There in is the paramount conundrum at WOFF. Jane espouses a holy walk with God while her members suffer spiritual, emotional and physical abuses which no sane person should put up with, all under the promise of eternal life with God. Even as I write this, I know the abuses inside WOFF are called the “dealings of God” and excused as “how God’s people live to walk in the high places with Him.”  

What I fear is that the time line for more intense abuses inside WOFF is speeding up. In my opinion, as the financial pressures to build a bigger sanctuary mount and pressures grow for all to “walk with God in a higher place”; the rationalizations which allow Jane to condone more severe physical abuse will result in more and more severe beatings, rapes and possibly worse.   

The answer to the question– when is life made cheap? Life is made cheap when Jane says you may join the group, move inside, take their handouts, become submerged into the “friendships” and even accept a job with a WOFF- member owned company.  For the deception is your life becomes of greater value to God as a member of WOFF. When in reality you have become a cheap pawn in Jane’s ongoing saga of control. As a faithful member of WOFF, you ARE subject to abuse under the heading of “submission to God’s will.” Why? Because Jane says so and you are in her church.  

And with that, let us remember:

“It is never too late to wake up and leave and reclaim your life!” Steve Hassan

Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog. Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Jane told me. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.

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Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, for posts written by John Huddle, any information about WOFF is from his memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 453.