Last week, I attended the International Cultic Studies (ICSA) conference in Washington, D.C. During the meetings and in between sessions, I found real people seeking and finding real help from those who could provide the insights and resources meant to further recovery from involvement in a high-demand group. I do not regret any of the changes in my schedule or the cost of attending the conference. My experience may not be exactly what other attendees encountered, but I believe the majority of the people around me felt the same as they left the conference.

Starting in February, I planned this trip. As new information was released, the excitement grew. One benefit I expected was to meet a few of the professionals whom I had been in contact with over these last few years. For various reasons, I had contacted professionals across the country involved in either the studies surrounding high demand groups or directly helping survivors. I met these folks and many more. There were people from many different nations as well as many from different States.

After the conference agenda was sent out, I stayed up late reading the meeting descriptions with great excitement. The subjects covered were ones I knew would help me—and I was not disappointed. In fact, there were so many attractive choices, after I would attend a meeting, I would find others who were in a different meeting and ask them what had been presented to them! The first three nights, I got very little sleep because of the pure excitement anticipating the next day and what it would hold. At the risk of oversell, let me give you the descriptions for the meetings I attended and let you decide for yourself.

On July 2nd, there were two preconference meetings. The second session in the afternoon was orientation to the conference for former group members. This session included instructions for everyone to do what it took to feel “safe” in the meetings and during the entire conference. If you felt uncomfortable with a topic being discussed, you were encouraged to leave the session. If you experienced a “trigger” during the conference, there were insights on how to deal with that. Other conference etiquette was discussed. None of the meetings were compulsory, each person was encouraged to enjoy their time, attend at their own pace and relax. This meeting was vital for me to know what to expect.

Thursday, the introduction meeting was titled: Paul Martin Lecture: Supporting Human Rights By Testifying to Human Wrongs– Alan Scheflin. (the Agenda is found here)

The session on Boundaries was very helpful. I found that knowing the right boundaries and how to manage them was lacking in my life. After lunch, I attended – After the Cult: Who am I? –directed by Leona Furmari. Wonderful! During the sessions for only former members, there was an openness and freedom to share your struggles and victories. Each person was given the opportunity to tell their story in brief. The therapeutic benefit of being in a group of people that understood your plight and even knew many of the terms used in your group- was so validating. Emotions could be released and in many ways healing could begin for those who chose to participate. In these meetings, you could share or withhold information about yourself. Many of the group leaders stressed that you were in control of this journey and everyone else in the room supported you.

In the afternoon session, I met Wendy and Doug Duncan from Texas and Bob and Judy Pardon from Massachusetts. Bob and Judy run a recovery care facility for former cult members named Meadowhaven. Over the last few years, I had been in touch with Bob and was very glad to finally meet him and be in his session.

Thursday night included the Phoenix Project presentations. A room was set-up for the display for art work in several forms. Survivors supplied the pieces which included paintings, posters, poetry, and literary works. The individual presentations that evening included poetry, literary work, music including original songs and even classical piano. I read a piece about a meeting during my time in Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). During the reading, I was nervous but was able to settle down about half way through. The piece was well received. Afterwards, several commented that in their group, meetings as I described happened to them. Submitting the piece for review and being able to present it gave me a sense of validation that up to that point had been elusive. In a future post, I will provide the material I read. It was called “Winds of Destruction.”

Friday sessions included meeting Chelsea Bass from Texas. Her work involves shaping public policy to help protect those being abused. I enjoyed meeting her afterwards and will learn more about her work. The second session on Friday was a key time for me. Lorna Goldberg hosted a session for “Former Cult Members Who Were Parents in the Group.” The stories of heartbreak coming from this group included some sad stories with many common themes. By the end, there were glimpse of hope. I was able to identify with many others in this session.

Later in the day, I chose to attend a session on “…Becoming Assertive…” led by Greg and Angelina Sammons. They are involved with Wellspring Retreat in Ohio. Before the conference ended, I also met Barbara Martin, Larry Pyle and Steve Martin- all affiliated with Wellspring. Each one gave me a warm welcome and I plan to stay in touch with each of them.

The final session for me on Friday was taught by a panel which included William Goldberg (Lorna’s husband) Steve Hassan and Paul Grosswald and others. The title was “Undue Influence 101: A Framework for Understanding Thought Control” The room was packed as more chairs were brought in after it started. Each speaker shared vital information for anyone seeking to understand the dynamics of the currency of high-demand groups- thought control. Without this dynamic, cult leaders would be essentially powerless to obtain their goals. Excellent material was presented in this session.

Yes, all the meetings I attended were beneficial in some way. Another benefit of attending the conference was the conversations and encounters between meetings and in the evenings. You had the opportunity to talk in a relaxed atmosphere and learn the more personal struggles of other attendees. This was as vital to me as the meetings! During the sessions, people shared their stories. Between the meetings; you could learn more and make a real connection. Over the years, I have written about other groups. During this conference, I met real people from many of these groups. Survivors from groups I had researched were there in front of me, not just a name on the screen or a survivor lost behind the news story. I met real people seeking and getting real help. It was beyond words for me as I heard the details, saw the tears and shared a laugh or two.

Friday night, I joined some others and we made our way to the fireworks display on the Mall in Washington. Absolute fun! Christina Bryant met us there and I was able to introduce her to my new friends. That was a good time. I enjoyed the fireworks and the thoughts of being free to watch them on the Fourth of July! A Thank You shout-out to “Ben” who was the one person in our small group who knew where he was going and helped us all stay safe!

Saturday, I attended the “Former Member De-Briefing” with Carol Giambalvo. She is such a gentle and sweet person. I enjoyed being in each of her sessions. Her commitment to help others was so evident.

The new friends and new insights during the conference were encouraging and gave me so much hope. I plan to attend other events in the future sponsored by ICSA. After all, if I don’t make the effort to seek the help and get the information/ inspiration that will change me, next year and the year after I will be in the same post-cult messes. Life after a high-demand group is no easy path. If you were in a group for any length of time and became a faithful member, then just leaving the group does not cause the damage to heal on its own. It takes effort and now I see the effort is worth it.

And oh yes, there was a book table. I bought a ton of books. I now have enough material to share on this blog for at least the next year! I am looking forward to reading, learning and writing about it here on this blog.

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Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 484.