Yes, I know. Even writing a title like this one scares me. Deep down inside there is a horn blaring- don’t say that! People will think you are SELFISH! You can’t choose yourself-first! You must do for others first. You are a worthless piece of no count nothing. Remember the song- JOY? Jesus then Others then You… what a wonderful way to spell JOY… Announcement! That song doesn’t tell the whole story. It was a fine song for children in summer vacation Bible school who were learning to share their toys.

Do you have that voice in you? Always consider yourself last. Put others first; others and their needs and their desires ahead of everything you need or want? How is that working for you? Sleeping good at night? Always smiling?

Okay, I know from being a parent there comes time to sacrifice and make choices for your children. Those are not the times and choices I am writing about. I am aiming for those thoughts and habits which don’t consider your own needs and therefore you are not fulfilled and able to make those quality choices which help others around you. Let me explain.

First off, after my time at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF), I shy away from making blanket endorsements for any man or woman who is teaching their ways to success. It could be business or religion or any other area. I hesitate giving anyone total approval. With that said, today’s post stems from my reading a book by James Altucher: Choose Yourself! –originally published 2013. For disclosure, I am not finished reading this book. It is not a prim and proper book. The language is frank and frontal. However, if you can see past the presentation and hear the message, this book may be one to read.

James Altucher does not claim that his message will work for everyone- just him. He does not claim to be the only way happiness, peace or heaven. We will leave that to others who need that platform. His is not a religion based message. James frankly shares his failures and successes and what worked to help him further on his journey. He even says if you can prove you read the book and he outlines how; then he will refund you the cost of the book. So, technically – the book is free.

Without giving away the main content of the book, I will share a brief summary. He believes a person must take care of four areas in order to build a foundation in their life where they can grow and help others. The four areas are physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. He shares how he came to these truths after much failure and why he purposes to keep balance on these areas for his journey and helping others.

For this post, I want to expound on two points from his book knowing there is so much more which you can learn by reading the book. First, while explaining his journey, he writes, “You can’t buy happiness with the currency of unhappiness.”

Those words stood out and were a page stopper for me. After a short time, I related this statement to Leah Remini’s show about Scientology on A&E and to life at WOFF. As a side note, I have lost count of the folks who have contacted me about this show. Each one tells me how similar Scientology is to WOFF. Many have never actually been a member of either, but may have a friend or relative inside WOFF. (Her show will require a post for another day)

I watched three installments and agree. The first similarity I recognized was the requirement for each group to totally disassociate with previous members. This is where Altucher’s statement connected for me. The requirement for members to shun previous members, even if their own family; goes against a principle of happiness- free choice. Compelling members to break ties in order to stay in good standing is not a way to generate happy members.

No matter the outside demeanor, deep inside there is unhappiness in some who are forced to cut off friends and relatives – “for the gospel’s sake” or “to follow God and God’s people.” If the leaders of WOFF would show faith in their Faith message and trust that members don’t need to be forced to “buy happiness with the currency of unhappiness,” then former members would be allowed to stay in contact with their families inside WOFF.

Obvious that several members exiting WOFF over the last 18 months has been at least in part due to reuniting with family on the outside. I am happy for them. Leaders of WOFF allowing the choice of whether to keep in touch with family that leaves with NO outward pressures would make WOFF in one way less like Scientology. I am grouping all leadership with the main leader since they are all in lockstep with her demands, commands and wishes. All of leadership carries the same guilt as she does for every tragedy and crime committed.

The fifth chapter of Altucher’s book is titled, “DOES ONE PERSON HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE?” Honestly, I am not making this up. He continues sharing how rejection shaped his decisions for many years. One highlight of this chapter,

“But the most important things these rejections gave me was a sense that NEVER AGAIN should I rely on the whims of one person to choose my success or failure in any endeavor.”

He continues on sharing how difficult it was to break out of that trap even after he had the desire to be free.

WOFF members past and present, do you still face the “whims of one person” who is choosing your “success or failure?” Can this person ever be pleased with anything you do? Are you constantly being reminded how much sin is in you and how wicked you are? Are you constantly being told to show your happy face while on the inside you are unhappy to the core? Are you under the deception that your happiness never matters anyway? Stop and consider this- why do you put up with this stuff? Life is passing you by and you are not getting younger and the years of unhappy keep stacking up!

Can the person controlling your life actually know what it takes to make it to heaven? Has she or he ever been there? Does the person controlling you actually live the life you want to live? Do you have to scream at folks to get them to do what you want? Without screaming, what would WOFF be? Without the pushing, shoving, striking and hitting, bullying and intimidation, what would life be like? Can you imagine a life of freedom where you are not under the control of one person? Where you can choose or not choose to do or not do something which might make you happy or not? Choice is a beautiful thing.

Choose yourself. Choose your freedom and the pursuit of your happiness. Then you can be a help to others. Until you make the decision to choose, you will always wonder what freedom is like.

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Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog. Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Jane told me and Josh confirmed it.

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Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 583.