Does Love Put Up Walls? If So, To Protect What?

    As I go through my day, there are certain things I remember and certain things I do not. There are things that bless me and some things that do not. A few of the things that bless me, I share here on this blog. Some things that irritate or bother me or I have questions about, I share here on this blog. There are things that fit into both categories in each day. Living life to the fullest means we concentrate on the “blessings”. Do you agree?

   For a time today, I have been considering the outpouring of “love” that we were taught at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) to show to other members. There were countless sacrifices of time, energy and money spent to help each other accomplish whatever Jane Whaley said was needed in a situation. Jane would direct these times either herself or through others in leadership. Helping each other could take on many different forms. You could receive help painting or renovating your house, doing yard work, moving from one house to another, replacing a well pump, installing appliances, building a deck, cleaning a basement, moving your belongings out or in to storage and the list goes on… As mentioned, we never paid for child care for our children. We would keep each other’s children in an understood arrangement. No money changed hands for this. (At least not with regular members.) You may need prayer or correction or an escort to attend a family function or a guard on a telephone conversation with someone. You may need a ride somewhere because your car was being repaired or you didn’t have your own transportation.   

     Can we leave out the “love” other members have shown by “blasting your devils” while hitting you on the back and providing you with paper towels or a receptacle for your “throwings” or excretions…? How about the love of telling someone in leadership that you have unapproved things in your house or that you expressed doubt about Jane or someone else in leadership? Yet, the “love” of a member telling Jane that you were considering leaving a job with a church-member owned company and “getting out from under authority”-  can that be ignored or forgotten? No, it cannot. For at the time, I thought all these things were “love”, God’s love. While at WOFF I believed I was helping others by watching and guiding them in the restraints. I did many of the above mentioned things while at WOFF and had others show me the same kind of “affection”. We were taught be word and deed that these acts and others were the true love of God. Many times over the years, the passage from 1Cor. 13:4-8 was read and preached. Here it is:  (please, read it slowly… there is a lot to digest…)

⁴Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.  ⁵It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].  ⁶It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.  ⁷Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].  ⁸Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy (^[a]the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].

     I will first admit that this passage sets a high standard that I don’t pretend to reach in every situation in every day. For me, learning to love is a journey, one filled with stumbling and rising up again, in His grace, to travel further down this path called life. After I left WOFF, I have come to realize that many things I was taught and considered as love were not truly love. Many things I confused with love were control through me over others, as obedience to THE controller. For instance, it bothered me that once a person left WOFF, it was expected that regular members would not contact that person or express any remorse or feelings that they were gone. A person who left was a “Judas” who had betrayed God! (or the one who acted like God..) Love in this instance had walls and the path or relationship with that person stopped there. This was even more confusing when relatives of that person who left were still at WOFF. The relationship became one with walls of separation and not filled with love as mentioned in 1 Cor. 13:4-8, why? What were the walls of shunning and ignoring there to protect? What purpose did the “walls” serve? True, there was danger in even asking these questions while in WOFF. “You could be the next one out of here!” to quote Jane Whaley. What was so precious and valuable about WOFF-life that needed protection? Could it be the long list of lies that WOFF-life was built on? Could it be the main lie that Jane Whaley sees all and knows all and has the only true connection with God? Could the lie that WOFF is the only way to heaven be worth betraying the true love of God?

   In my mind and heart, the concept of love became twisted while at WOFF. Life at WOFF carried with it pride about being a WOFF member. Was that true love? The WOFF version of love included walls and certain prejudices against certain situations and people. (Those unclean sinners!!!) Was that really the love taught in the Scriptures? WOFF-life was built on many fears. Was that helpful in knowing true love? When folks didn’t agree with you- CUT THEM OFF!  Was that really God’s love? “They are just not walking where we are walking.” Is that a statement full of love? When others expressed difference with WOFF, then “go give them Truth!” Does that sound sweet, lovely and humble? Again, let me say, I participated in WOFF-love while living the WOFF-life.

    Since I have been gone from WOFF, I see love, God’s love in a new light. First, love is in me because God’s Spirit is in me. That love longs for a place to show itself. Love will find a way to express itself through me- in spite of the walls and road blocks from the past. There still is a lot to learn. But, what choice do I have? We all must move forward. Now, I claim no special revelation and don’t consider myself a “jackleg preacher”. (But, which “jackleg preacher” really admits to being one?) I share what I have learned; you can take it or leave it. No offering plates will be passed, no announcement for the next meeting, no “truth circles” here. True love aims to live at peace with all men.

Heb 12:14 – …Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

   This next thing bothered me today when I heard it. A friend of mine works in a company where a WOFF member is employed in another office, for the same company. Word around the company is that the WOFF member cannot talk to my friend. (Supposedly because that person talks to me..) If this is true- how petty is that? Does that sound like a good testimony of WOFF-life in that work place? Does that make those in the company want to get up and run to the next WOFF service? Can we all just grow-up?!!! What is that wall of silence from the WOFFer protecting? What statement is the WOFFer trying to make besides “I obey Jane and cut off people in my work place”? The WOFF member in question is a sweet person. But, they are definitely a faithful, obedient WOFF member, to this point. Is this SAD?

    I close with this scripture. It is true, if you show God’s love, folks will see the reflection of Jesus.  If you don’t show His love, folks will see that, also. In my opinion, when the walls from WOFF members go up against people, their testimony goes down- the drain. That scenario tells us a lot.

John 13:34-35: ^“I give you a new commandment: that you should love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too should love one another.   By this shall all [men] know that you are My disciples, if you love one another [if you keep on showing love among yourselves].”

   What walls did Jesus put up in relationships with people?

    Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.

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      (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. ) Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 154.