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Books, Resources, Uncategorized

9/11 – Where Were You? Who Will Forget?

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  This past week and especially the last 24 hours have been filled with ceremonies, pictorials, memorials to those who died on 9/11/01. It has been ten years since that fateful day. Do you remember where you were when you first found out? I was taking an early morning walk and Mitchell Henderson called me. We both attended Word of Life Church (aka Grace and Truth Fellowship) in Greenville, SC. The church leadership, as directed from the sister church – Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) in Spindale, NC, did not condone televisions in the homes of regular members. Mitchell had heard about the events on his job and called to let me know. The first plane had hit but not the second one. I asked him if the tower had collapsed yet and then commented that it sounded like terrorists. As far as my work schedule for that day, it fell apart as no one wanted to talk business. Everyone was following the events and the developments across this nation. I did not have a working television in my home and had to catch up-dates elsewhere.  

   The day was a Tuesday. Word of Life Church had Tuesday night fellowship meetings and many of us gathered at the church and watched the events unfolding and videos of the towers collapsing in the school building on “monitors”. I distinctly remember standing behind NB and watching over her shoulder as the scenes were replayed on the screen. I turned away as the scenes were filled with pictures of the jumpers who leapt off the Tower in order not to be burned alive. All of these scenes became part of the story and etched in our memories- probably forever. Who can forget?

   The air waves have been filled with stories of tragic loss. Last night, as I viewed a movie about Flight 93 I was stuck by the many conversations that passengers were able to have with their relatives before the plane was crashed into a field in Pennsylvania. The passengers were able to avert another terrorist victory because they received information from those calls to relatives. That was an interesting piece of the puzzle.

Continue reading 9/11 – Where Were You? Who Will Forget? →

Behavior Control, Thought Reform, Uncategorized, WOFF Updates

Personal Property Returned to Morgan Sample After 5 Months

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   These last few days have been very emotional and revealing to say the least. In this post I will tell of Morgan Sample’s struggles to regain her laptop, cell phone, sewing machine, school books, family pictures and calculator. The events that led up to the confiscation are not as critical to the purpose of this post as the events since her departure. The focus here will be her struggle to regain possession of her personal property. This story needs no embellishment. I will endeavor to recount the events to the best of my memory as confirmed by emails, text messages, pictures as well as Morgan’s narrative. Further details to the events leading to Morgan’s exit can be shared at a future time.  

   All of this came to my attention on August 24, 2011. Morgan contacted me via Facebook®. After realizing my typing was not fast enough to make chat feasible, we talked on the phone. I listened as Morgan told her exit story from Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). She had been a part of WOFF for about ten years. We were there at the same time, but never had regular direct contact. Again, after a brief introduction, this post focuses on her struggle to regain her personal property. Her exit story has many more events that can be told in another post.

   Morgan lived in the home of Randy and Cindy Fields. The Fields were leadership at the WOFF and still remain in that position, as far as I know. Morgan graduated from the church sponsored school and had moved into a role of child care provider while also taking college classes. Events unfolded that landed Morgan in “church discipleship”. This process has been explained in previous posts on this blog. I have been in church discipleship at WOFF and am very familiar with the process. She was there for months. After this period, she took another position helping in the church sponsored school. Another series of events took place and her cell phone and laptop were confiscated by leadership, this under Jane Whaley’s direction. This limited her access to her parents as they did not live in the area. When Morgan first decided to leave, she was not allowed to call her mother to come get her. This limit on her communication with her family lasted several days. Upon her mother’s next visit to see her, she packed her things and made her exit.

   Continue reading Personal Property Returned to Morgan Sample After 5 Months →

Books, Resources, Criteria for Cults, Emotional Control, Uncategorized

Is it the Love of God or Jane-Love?

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    During my time inside Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF), I witnessed many things. I heard Jane Whaley preach many “strange and wonderful things”- or so I thought.  During my last few months there and especially after I left I began to experience some of the things Jane had taught and encouraged her members to believe and act upon. One of those things was the shunning of friends and family. As the months have passed and I have written about WOFF practices, none has been so devastating to me and the many other folks who find themselves on the receiving end of such behaviors. I have been contacted by many fathers as well as brothers, parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts and other relatives who recount the same or very similar stories. They have been cut-off from contact either gradually over time or over one incident. It could have been as simple as the television or as drastic as wearing shorts or jeans. But, in every case at least that I am aware of the cut-off and shunning of a relative was in order for the WOFF member to show loyalty to and love for Jane Whaley and her rules. The WOFF-spin was that the person who left did not “love God” or was “attacking Jane” by leaving or how they acted or what they had said. For those who live in the surrounding community and see the well groomed WOFF-life being lived before them, let me give more details. For all that shines is not gold.

    The WOFF-dramas that tear apart families are not hashed out in the view of public – well, except those child custody cases seen in the courts. Those follow a script and for the most part end up in the parent that leaves getting very little actual visitation with children still in WOFF. A few WOFF-children have chosen the non-WOFF parent and have left. But, they did so facing the cost of losing WOFF friends, WOFF School, and regular contact with the WOFF-parent that stayed inside the supposed “Christian” church known as WOFF.

   The scenario I am more familiar with both from being inside and now being outside for three years, includes the family members who stay, refusing any contact with those who have left WOFF. This part of the WOFF-drama is hard to explain even to one who has seen it from both sides. Why? I believe that many that see the glitter and glamour of WOFF-life do not actually see the trauma and drama for those inside and those that make their way out.  So, for those in the community, appearances can be deceiving. The price to pay to stay and play is high for sure. I saw it in other lives before it came to be a part of mine. I saw other families being torn apart but, not one day before it began to happen to me, did I think I would be a victim of Jane-love. 

   Continue reading Is it the Love of God or Jane-Love? →

Books, Resources, Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized

Religion Used as a Narcissist’s Tool of Control (7) – Bad Boundaries

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    This is the seventh in a series about the subject of narcissism. The source book has been – “Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism” (Copyright©2002, 2003 by Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW, published by FREE PRESS, ISBN-13:978-0-7432-1428-5). I have been quoting excerpts from the source book and comparing them to my experiences at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). Our last post on this book focused on the author’s explanation of “Exploitation” in chapter 6. I have put forth my ideas while attempting to explain the author’s observations in light of the religious setting of WOFF. This post will end this part of the series. In a future post, we will revisit the resource book and review the author’s views on “Survival Strategies for a Narcissistic World”- Part III of her book.  

   Hotchkiss begins this chapter by giving some background and perspective as to the importance of having the proper perspective as to our Self and others. Though we are “by nature social creatures who thrive on meaningful affiliations with family, friends and community. We all need to belong to something, someone outside of ourselves… The soundness of the boundary between Self and others will affect not only how we perceive ourselves but how we experience other people and to a certain extent how we are treated by them. Good boundaries, the recognition of separateness, make for healthy relationships.” (page 27) 

   Let me put the author’s comments in light of the religious system of WOFF. In a previous posts, I shared that in the WOFF religion, the concept of “Self” is distorted at best and disdained as a norm. At least for regular members, the boundary of “Self” is not nurtured or respected, but, preached as evil and not having worth. Can we forget the message titled “Living Segmented Lives”, which taught that “God did not want us living “separate lives”…” The net effect was to further condemn those who wanted to have a healthy “Self”- which was seen as evil. What may have sounded like “truth” was in practice used to bind and control members. As a WOFF member, “Why would you put your needs before God’s people or Jane?”

    Additionally, who can count the times that Jane would address the congregation as one and lump us all in together as full of sin, evil, full of lust and the cause of her long worrisome hours of prayer and sleepless nights? When sin was discovered in one member, it was preached and taught as being in all. There were numerous services where different “sins” associated with “Self” were “dealt with”. Jane used the Scriptures referencing the “Body” of Christ as a tool to destroy any healthy “Self” by using the need to “belong to something, someone outside of ourselves…” as a means to submit to her unhealthy application of a Scriptural principle.   

   Continue reading Religion Used as a Narcissist’s Tool of Control (7) – Bad Boundaries →

Books, Resources, Uncategorized

Religion Used as a Narcissist’s Tool of Control (6) – Exploitation

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  This is the sixth in a series about the subject of narcissism. The source book has been – “Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism” (Copyright©2002, 2003 by Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW, published by FREE PRESS, ISBN-13:978-0-7432-1428-5). I have been quoting excerpts from the source book and comparing them to my experiences at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). Our last post on this book focused on the author’s explanation of “Entitlement” in chapter 5. I have put forth my ideas while attempting to explain the author’s observations in light of the religious setting of WOFF.

  Hotchkiss begins Chapter 6 “Exploitation”, by giving some background perspective on how a healthy person learns to empathize with others. “The ability to empathize, to grasp accurately how another person feels and to feel compassionate in response, requires us to step outside ourselves momentarily to tune in to someone else… We may or may not share the feelings being expressed, but we accept them without judgment or distortion.” She writes that in moments of empathy, “…, we do bridge the gap between two separate beings. That cannot happen unless we are able to experience ourselves as separate in the first place. The sense of one’s Self as separate and autonomous is a developmental milestone that normally occurs in small increments between the ages of one to three or four. In order to read others accurately, we must first be able to see ourselves in realistic terms and identify our feelings as belonging to us.” (page 23)  

   As I write this, I am reminded that when member of WOFF reads this, it may seem like a foreign language. WOFF members do not get any training and therefore have no real trust in explanations of life events from a psychological perspective. If I quoted Scripture profusely, then they would be able to assess and analyze the positions taken. Yes, much of this has been new for me to comprehend and reconcile with the teachings I was under for many years. But, let’s go forward and keep digging.

   Continue reading Religion Used as a Narcissist’s Tool of Control (6) – Exploitation →

Books, Resources, Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized

Reflections on “Escape” by Carolyn Jessop – from Lahna Morakis

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    The book in reference is “Escape” by Carolyn Jessop. (Copyright©2007, author- Carolyn Jessop and Laura Palmer, published by Broadway Books NY, ISBN- 978-0-76792756-7) In case you may not be aware, Carolyn Jessop was married to Merril Jessop, a high ranking official in the Fundamental Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS) until she had the courage to escape this polygamous and abusive cult.  I had this book on my shelf for several years, but did not read it until last week.  I realize now how timing is of such importance. I have had time to heal from my involvement with WOFF or so I thought. It has been my experience, once you are exposed to cult life and cult practices you never totally heal. The mind is like a computer storing information and there are triggers that set memories in motion. For me, it was reading this book. The similarities between the FLDS and Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) were/are uncanny.  Aside from the “prairie dresses” as I call them and the plural marriages, the premise for these two cults is the same. Remember, mind control is the basis for all cults. It is exercised in every and all aspects of a cult member’s life. It was interesting to learn that the FLDS started out much like WOFF, and just like WOFF, as time went on there were “new revelations” given to “leadership”. As a result, members were forced to relinquish more and more freedoms.  If they did not comply, they were shunned. Since I do not believe the average person can fathom exactly what that means, I’d like to share from my experiences of being shunned. 

     My background is Italian and Greek, both of which reflect a very tightly knit family unit. In 2007, a family reunion was planned in Tarpon Springs, Florida for all the people who were from the same island in Greece as my father.  My mother and father were elderly and could not travel alone; therefore I offered to take them. Because there would be dancing and music, and as a result of Jane Whaley’s counsel; my husband refused to take me to the airport, watch our dog for the week, pick me up when I returned or speak to me the entire time I was away. At that time, it was too early for me to realize where the “orders” were coming from. When a spouse shuns you to that degree, which is totally foreign to their nature, you know they are being controlled by someone or something else.

   Continue reading Reflections on “Escape” by Carolyn Jessop – from Lahna Morakis →

Books, Resources, Uncategorized

A Life Free of Discomfort…

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   In the previous post, we were quoting from the book, “Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism” (Copyright©2002, 2003 by Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW, published by FREE PRESS, ISBN-13:978-0-7432-1428-5). In Chapter 5, the author was describing a narcissist and wrote this, ““Individuals who feel entitled to respect without giving it in return, or who expect rewards without effort, or a life free of discomfort, are forfeiting any power they might have to shape their own destiny.” (page 22) We mentioned expounding on the phrase – “a life free from discomfort” in a future post. I delayed writing about this phrase because it fit well with another book I have been reading.

    The book is titled, “Radical” by David Platt. (Copyright©2010 by David Platt, published by Multnomah Books –Colorado Springs, CO, ISBN-978-1-60142-221-7) The subtitle is “Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream”. This is not a book on cults. The author does not name cults or pretend his message is directed toward or meant for cults or those studying them. However, I believe his message does apply to those getting free from a captivating message that has stifled and muffled many a desire to serve God. My perspective has been shaped by the many years I spent at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). What former member can deny that Jane Whaley and Sam Whaley preach a gospel laden with the prosperity message? I heard Sam say more than once, “If God is not blessing you- then something is wrong with you.” He then would go on about the nice clothes, fine cars and house that many WOFF members had and how that was evidence to him that God was “blessing them”. He also would spend time telling how proud he was when his car buddies would go through the church parking lot when it was full and tell Sam, “You all must be doing something right, there are some nice cars in that lot!” Even though Jane goes through periods where she will regress and not emphasize the “prosperity message”, who can deny she lives it, loves it and benefits from it?

   Frankly, I must admit that during the 80’s when I first became aware of certain preachers and the faith/prosperity message, I was attracted to it. At that time, I was young in “the faith” and could not see the traps that this type of message holds. I endeavored to learn it, live it and preach it. So, what I am about to share is not from a standpoint of never having been a part of the problem. In years past, I have attended other churches besides WOFF that preached the faith/prosperity message to one degree or another. All that being said; I did spend the years from 1992 until 2008 listening to Jane and others inside of WOFF and believe I have some ability to assess the gospel Jane preaches. More than what Jane says, we must take a gander at how Jane’s gospel is practiced at WOFF. I will compare the massage of “Radical” with the WOFF message that many of us have endured during our years in WOFF.

   Continue reading A Life Free of Discomfort… →