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The Simple Truth is….
A few weeks ago, I was talking to a couple in the church I attend. They came out of a cult after many years. The husband was in for about 30 years and he has commented before on this blog. The wife was in about 26 years. Both are very understanding when I mention my concerns and questions. We were talking and the wife began to explain her views. She took her two hands and designated one as “truth” and one as “error”. She then interlocked her fingers as she asked the question, “When you mix “truth” with “error”, what do you have?” The answer of course is – error. That analogy made a big impression on me. It helped give answers to several questions I had about why folks who live in and around Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) folks still can be confused as to the soundness/healthiness of the group. Let me explain my understanding.
A resource I recently acquired has helped me through these questions, also. It is “Charts of Cults, Sects, and Religious Movements” by H. Wayne House. (Copyright ©2000 by H. Wayne House, published by Zondervan, ISBN -10: 0-310-38551-2). It explains some brief background as well as doctrinal positions of several groups/sects that have been labeled as sects, or controlling or cultic. The brief history and background information I find extremely fascinating. Some of the groups mentioned are Alamo Christian Ministries, The Family/ Children of God, Freemasonry, Jehovah Witnesses and Unification Church, as well as many others. The copyright is 2000; so, some information is dated and needs to be checked out with current sources. However, the history would not change. The layout gives the groups position and if that position is orthodox or error. It shocked me how many groups actually held orthodox positions on certain basic Christian positions or practices or doctrines. Then a light went on. This is the draw for many folks. First, there is general ignorance as to the true orthodox position. These folks are easy prey for abnormal groups. (ask me, I know…) Then there are folks who excuse an alternate position or practice and accept the orthodox or tried and true positions to compensate and make up for a doubtful area. Then there are those that are so caught up in the main thrust of a group- they could care less about doctrine. If their needs are met, then the practices and extremes can be overlooked. If there is an appearance of “gospel work” like helping the poor or visiting the sick or prisoners, then other doctrines or even unorthodox practices are accepted as part of the package.
Reader Explains the Term “Love-thief”
Previously, I wrote a post titled: Adulation- the Drug of Choice. (link here-https://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=3843 ) It has spawned several comments. One reader wrote the following: Great article! By substituting group names and leaders’ names we see this fits our experiences to a “T”. As for the “Why did we stay and do what we did?” question, the answer is simple: LOVE – We love(d) God and thought loving them was equal to serving God. They used our love against us for their own self-profiting reasons. It is a difficult reality to face having been used; but once we accept this fact it helps clear things up with respect to motives (theirs and ours) and actions (theirs and ours). Like any other user, a love-thief mimics the phraseology of the victims stating: “I love you.” knowing the victims will interpret that statement as meaning what it does when they say “I love YOU.” –unconditional love. But truly the love-thief only means “I love what you DO for me.” The true test of the love-thief’s statement comes when you stop performing to their standards or stop supplying their “fix”. Typically the love-thief will upbraid, ridicule, or ostracize you, proving they did not in fact “love” YOU; they only loved what you DID for them. At least, that’s what we think… Don and Ange
Many times over the last year, the material for a certain post has caught my attention and grabbed my interest more than normal. This comment prompted one of those experiences. The reader’s comment was an attempt to explain why members of cults could be involved with destructive groups. The concept of Love and its misuse and abuse is not new. Certainly the abuse of Love is as old as man himself. However, the explanation within the group setting as explained by Don T. helped me and sent my thoughts off into a direction that help me understand myself and my reasons for continuing even when there were doubts. I not only believed I loved the leaders, I loved my family and did not want to lose them, as was predicted by BC.
Love– is such a rich word that has many underlying concepts. It is easy to understand how its meaning in a given relationship could be misapplied or misused. The purposeful misuse for personal gain is VERY plausible and evident in reference to the relationship of controlling group leader to members; as well as in the case of WOFF and other groups like WOFF. The term implies that the abuser steals “Love”. That is true. What else is stolen in this perverted relationship? I suggest that more than love is stolen. Time, energy, finances, in essence, the very life of a member is stolen in a group like WOFF. At some point, in the evolution of a love-thief, the leader can morph into a “life-thief”. There is a point where the very lives are stolen from the members of a group such as WOFF and NTCC and/or others in that vein.
Adulation- the Drug of Choice
During this season of my recovery from cult involvement, I am in the middle of reading several books. Today, I just opened the cover of another book that will be different from any I am reading or have read. “The Mother of God” by Luna Tarlo is “A mother’s account of her experience as a disciple of her own son, a well-known American guru, and of her struggle to free herself from his control.” (copyright © 1997 by Luna Tarlo, Plover Press) Such an inviting topic!
Within the first few pages of this book is this quote from yet another book that I will read this year. “Adulation… has an addictive quality difficult to resist. Being the focus of such attention would activate the excitation levels of any sentient being on the receiving end of it. Whether for a guru or a rock star, this can be a more powerful experience than the strongest drug. It is also one of the greatest seductions of power.” This is from The Guru Papers– Masks of Authoritarian Power – by Joel Kramer and Diana Alstad.
Understandably, after several years being under the teachings of Jane Whaley at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) in Spindale, NC, I get caught up in the who said, who did, why did they, why did I, we should have, we could have – stage of sorting out the whole mess of WOFF and its goings, doings, sayings, and culture. Many hours I have spent replaying the events, writing about the events and talking about the events of those years. There are times when the question of why seems so large and then an even larger question- What will bring changes? As mentioned before, there are more questions than answers at this point.
Public Rebuke of Cult Members
Recently, a good friend related an experience they had in a group meeting. This friend had been allowed to present a song about a series of events the entire group was familiar with as they all shared many common experiences. The song was meant to be a light-hearted presentation of a socially uncomfortable but, not dire event. The song seemed to be well received and my friend sat down. However, the next speaker took direct offense to the song and berated my friend in front of the entire group of about 100 folks. When my friend raised her hand to say the song was not meant to harm but to encourage, my friend was further chastised and the tirade seemed to worsen. One person in leadership with the group left in a rush as she was about to become physically ill at the completely insensitive and unprofessional handling of the episode by the offended party.
My friend went on to relate their inability to sleep that evening. She had spent many hours mulling over the series of events, in one sense she felt frozen and in another sense she felt violated. In the many years of relating to groups and teaching in classrooms, they had never been treated so ugly and rude in a group setting. The offended party had expressed their hurt and anger in loud overt tones that had thrown a damper on the entire group including my friend. Later in the evening, several came up to express their support for my friend and bewilderment at the level of rage expressed against her. In my friend’s words, it was totally uncalled for and had left her seeking an exit from the group. It has been several days since the incident and there has been no direct communication of an apology from the person who leveled the barrage of abuse.
Is Teen Mania a Cult?
Recently, I was introduced to a survivor of another cult group. This survivor posts anonymously on a website that serves as forum for present members and survivors of Teen Mania- Honors Academy. The link is here: recoveringalumni.com. The survivor has given permission to link and repost material from this blog in order to help others know about their experiences and the experiences of others. This is a repost of the first in the series examining the question – Is Teen Mania a Cult?. I read through several posts and noted several characteristics of the group which in my opinion qualify it as a controlling religious group- cult. The original post from June 20, 2009 is found here… http://www.recoveringalumni.com/2009/06/is-teen-mania-cult.html
Is Teen Mania a Cult? Part 1
Posted by Recovering Alumni | Labels: cult, Honor Academy
This question has come up time and time again. As an intern, we joked about how the townsfolk nearby thought we were a cult. It was funny, because of course we weren’t a cult!
It wasn’t until several years later, when I came across a long list of cult characteristics that I began to seriously ask this question. I was really surprised to find that many of the characteristics on that list were present in the Honor Academy. Unfortunately, I can’t find that exhaustive list, but here is one provided by the International Cultic Studies Association – with my Teen Mania specific comments in italics.
We Can’t Afford That Right Now
The protest in Wisconsin has many across America thinking about the future. And for sure, we should all be considering what steps need to be taken now to avoid certain financial disaster. If spending budgets do not change, there are hard times looming in the not too distant future of the individual states as well as the nation as a whole. The National Debt is growing… see this site for a graphic display— http://www.usdebtclock.org/ . We have several spending “habits” that are unsustainable at many levels of government. It appears the governor of Wisconsin has decided to make the steps he believes will help the entire state. Others should listen and take notes.
Yesterday, as I was driving near Charlotte, NC, I tuned into the radio broadcast of Dave Ramsey. He was finishing a discussion about family budget questions and made the statement that it was okay to tell your children you could not afford something they wanted. (I will paraphrase the comments here). He then made the comment that many states will need to do the same thing and tell their citizens that we cannot afford everything we want or have had in the past. Cuts will have to be made or governments will fail financially. We don’t need that. He referenced the situation in Wisconsin and then closed his program.
The phrase that caught my attention was “we cannot afford that right now.” Why? Because while I was in Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF), we were taught to NOT say that phrase to our children. It would hurt them, it could hurt their faith. It really was a precarious position and strained family budgets at times. If an item was approved and others were buying it (whatever “it” was), then there was great pressure to come up with the funds and buy “it”. Sometimes we were even told to go to church leadership and ask for help to get “it”.