Category Archives: Criteria for Cults

What critieria should one use to determine if a group is a cult?

Behavior Control, Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized

A Knock at the Door… A Visit from WOFF Members

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     Recently, while working from home, I received a knock at the door. This in itself was strange as the number of visitors has been limited. The door to my place had been recently replaced and thus no peephole installed. So, I asked, who is it? The person identified themselves and I knew it was a WOFF member. So, I opened the door to two WOFF members. They expected an invitation inside, but since they had given no call ahead of time, I refused them entry and we talked in the hallway. I asked them why no call ahead of time? “We could have met somewhere”. The reply – “We just wanted to show-up.”  There were smiles at first, but they soon faded.

     Before I go any further, let me say that I was not recording and have no real way to tell everything that was said on either behalf, mine or theirs. So, upfront know that this post is NOT a full account of this encounter. Also, I am leaving some parts out on purpose to not reveal the identities of the two ladies. For now, it does not add to the purpose of the post to identify them.  For sure, you the informed reader will understand the main points and get the gist of the events. I purpose to make it plain as possible.

     The first lady admitted she had been reading this blog. She then went on to assess the content as being “lies, full of lies!” I asked which part? She said “All of it. It is all false!” I got the message she did not like my blog. 🙁 I mentioned to this person that I was telling my experiences. (Remember, my experiences cannot be taken from me. Learned that at WOFF.)  She asked at some point, “How could you have slipped so far?” She gave me the impression that she thought I was “backslidden”.

    Then the second lady said the piece I wrote about her was wrong and false. She claims to have spoken in person to me on a Saturday morning about the thoughts I was having. ( I disagreed..) She did not dispute that I was “put out of the Church” with a phone call. At this point, she was “gagging on gnats”, as far as I could tell. She said many things about losing the “call of God” and “blaspheming God”. She made light of the place I lived. “What are you doing here?” She gestured with her hands as if to mock the place of my residence. From my memory, this was a common tactic to use on those who have left WOFF. The fact is most everyone in WOFF lives in very nice houses, but at what cost? The main difference in the place I live now  and the one I left, is just that- I live here. No one from WOFF, ” in authority” had to approve of my decision. In that regard, this is a beautiful place to live!

     The next door neighbors came up the stairs and I introduced the two ladies at my door. I told them that these ladies said I could not or should not have a blog about my previous experiences at the cult church. The neighbors were a little taken aback, nodded and went inside. This comment set these two ladies off into a rant. They again gestured with their hands and said “See there, why did you have to add the last part?” I asked isn’t that why you are here? You think I post “lies”? You want me to stop, right?  No, “We are here to encourage you to find God and the call of God.” “We are not telling you that you can’t post on your blog.” The second lady began to recount my previous “evangelistic” activities while at WOFF.  I told her I gave those folks so much “false religion” because that was what I was hearing. I repeated what I was told. She looked a little more upset but, did agree that “we have all given others religion, that is what we came out of…”

     They went on to say that I was using the books for sources over the Bible. That I had slid way off the mark. I asked them, “Are there were no other books to read beside the Bible?” They did not answer that one but, they said, “Truth is in the Bible! Not other books.” (okay, so, I will put more scriptures in my posts. I have resisted for not wanting to sound “preachy.”)

     At one point, I told them that when you list the characteristics of other cult groups and chart them against my own personal experiences with WOFF, there are so many similarities! They had no real knowledge of other groups so they could not comment on that point.   I told them that several other folks said I was very accurate! Though I did not volunteer names. 

     The second lady claimed to care about me and the many years our families had spent “in the things of God”.  I mentioned that this was the third time we have talked since I left in July of 2008? One of those times, I paid the her group a surprise visit and that one does not count.  So, if she cared, why so few contacts?  Then I  asked her about her husband?  She had mentioned he was glad to know that I had showed -up at the surprise meeting. “He wished he could have been there”.  Would he talk to me? She said,  “I don’t know.” Then I asked, “Would he be allowed to talk to me?” She did not answer as I feel certain she truly did not know. 

     During the conversation, my landlord came through the hall wanting to enter the apartment across the hall. I again introduced the ladies but, this time left off the “blog and cult” remarks. Then I turned to the second lady and said, “Better?”

      A little later during this exchange, one of my neighbors came back out and asked a question. He said, “Excuse me, you mentioned you had a blog on religious cults. My girl-friend and I would like to read that. What is the address?” At that point, I gave him the address and mentioned I could answer any of his questions. That comment was a surprise to me. It was a question of his own.    

     The second lady did most of the talking and stayed more calm. In fact, she spoke very sincerely and I told her so. The first lady spoke a rehearsed type of speech that obviously had been approved. She got upset and shook her finger at me. She also mentioned my jeans. That bothered her very much. The conversation did get heated at times. At one point, I asked them if they ever had doubts that Jane Whaley heard God perfectly every time? To which there was no reply. (you may read more by clicking the prompt)    Continue reading A Knock at the Door… A Visit from WOFF Members →

Criteria for Cults, FLDS vs WOFF, Uncategorized

FLDS vs WOFF – How People Who Leave are Treated – part 8

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    The subject matter of this post is hard to begin. During my years at WOFF, I was guilty of treating those who left in the manner that I am about to describe. All I can say is that now that I am out and looking back, it is a convoluted way to treat those you may have spent hours along side working or “worshipping”.  Those who leave are shunned and it is a known reinforced rule from the top – “Do Not Call someone who leaves or speak to them unless you find out from Jane if it is okay. You could loose an attack on them and/or the church.” That was made very clear. If you talk to them without “checking it out with authority”, then the sin that caused them to leave is in you! Your devils will hook-up and you will be out of here!”

    ( One side note: most every phrase in these posts that is in quotes, has a unique meaning to WOFF and in a future post I will attempt to explain how the unique language of this group was used to further their control over members. It is a VERY common practice in religious control groups to re-define words or add new meanings to words in order to prohibit individual thought. This happens at WOFF like NO OTHER group I have been a part of or read about. As I heard recently, “He who names the game, owns the game.. )

     As mentioned in previous posts, frequently fear was pronounced on the members about what would happen if they left WOFF. Many times, those who have left would have their names brought up and used as examples of what happens when “you don’t deal with your sin”, “when you don’t open your heart”, “when you allow one thought to take you over and the devil drives you out of WOFF”, “when you hide the “unclean”, lose hold of the “call of God”. Only one time on 16 years do I remember Jane Whaley ever saying a person was better off outside of WOFF and “back with their parents..” Every other time it was a big deal when someone left. Three times, that I can remember families were “sent out”, but the underlying presumption was that they would stay in fellowship with Jane and the church and the things taught by WOFF; two families did and one family did not. (as far as I know..)

     Sometimes we would be told right away when a person left. Other times it would be a while before Jane would mention that “so and so” is gone “They did not want to serve God.” There were no good reasons to leave for most folks. Many times a “Judas spirit took them over…” or “Their rebellion took them over”.. It was no mistaking the spoken and unspoken meanings to these descriptions of those who leave- they were in trouble!

     Sad to say that when folks I had been close to left, I succumbed to the pressures to not call or speak to them. I do regret my participation in that whole scene. You just knew that there would be “hell to pay” if you were caught “fellow-shipping with the Judases”.. How much true love can be in that? It set a bad example for the children to see adults cut off long relationships over a choice made to leave a church. That is another part that I deeply regret. Our children learn by the example we set. I cannot say I set a good example while spending time at WOFF when it came to talking to those who have left or showing true love to those when may have been “put out to find a place of repentance”.

“I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.” – Thomas Jefferson

Continue reading FLDS vs WOFF – How People Who Leave are Treated – part 8 →

Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized, WOFF and Money Issues

We don’t do that “out from under authority..”

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     In the first few years after moving to WOFF, I worked for a property management company owned by a family in the church. Though, I had many years experience in consumer finance, I had no experience in property management. That new experience in itself will proivde material for more posts at a later date. Sufficient to say that even with another part-time job at a credit union, the personal finances were tight.

     If my memory serves me correctly; these events occurred during the summer or fall of 2003. I had heard of a job opening in sales and was quite impressed with the chemicals sold by the company. I called for an interview. Later, I went to a hotel in the same city in South Carolina where I worked in property management, to speak with the regional manager of the chemical company. After leaving the interview, I did not particularly want the job; but just looking for other possibilities for income gave me hope.

     The very next church service I was called outside to speak with some “leadership” in front of the church. One of the owners of the property management company began, “I heard about the job interview.” He went on to tell me that going to the interview was not “gotten ahold of in God”. Up until that point I did not even know why I had been called out. As best I remember there were at least two other “leadership” folks there. One was the person who would eventually become the Holocaust teacher who is big on keeping people from books, TVs, magazines and newspapers.                     

  (see previous post – https://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=284 )

     The teacher began by saying she had just gotten off the phone with Jane. (Jane was in Brazil (?)) “Jane was very grieved that you would do something like this without getting ahold of this in God.  We don’t do things like that out from under authority. You need to find a place of repentance for even allowing the thought of going to that interview.”

     At this point, the pressures mounted up more than I could take and I began to cry, slowly at first. I now realize that the “leadership” there may have taken that as a sign that I agreed. That could not have been further from the truth! As I am writing this post, I can still feel the emotion of being told I needed to repent for not asking before looking for another job! The financial pressures were too great to just ignore. Later, I found out that many at WOFF were in the same predicament, barely paying their bills. Even with the part-time job, we had taken a cut in income to move to North Carolina.

     Again, the owner of the company spoke up and asked if my wife was getting paid for teaching in the Christian school? I said “No”. He said, “I have been carrying it that she should get paid.” He would talk to Jane about that….. 

     Looking back, I should have recognized that “getting ahold of things in God” meant asking Jane for permission to do something and “being out from under authority” meant you had not asked Jane for permission. Any delusion about how things worked at WOFF, should have gone out the window! I had just been scalded for seeking employment outside the church. I went to an interview for a job that I didn’t really want. But, the pressures were too great to stay in the job I had at the time. The hours were very long and the pay was limited.

     Another thing that should have jumped out at me, the people in that meeting thought that what had just happened with me being pulled out of the church service to be told that Jane was upset with me, was normal! Apparently, everyone else there in that meeting had already been shown how critical to life at WOFF was to not “be out from under authority!”  That meant they had already been shown who ran the church! It would be five more years before I would exit from this church. Apparently, I was a slow learner.

     Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life. There are readers at WOFF. I KNOW for sure and will share that post soon.

     Look on the right side of any post for “Categories”, select the drop down box and view any previous post by selecting “Uncategorized”. Use the slide bar on the right to scroll down to the bottom. Select “Previous Entries” to review older posts.

      (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )

Criteria for Cults, FLDS vs WOFF, Uncategorized

FLDS vs WOFF Similarites – Holidays – part 7

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     Celebrating holidays evolved over time in both groups. More accurately, the prohibition of celebrating holidays evolved over time. As far as is known, WOFF at this time does not celebrate any holidays, officially. Recently, I am told that more freedom has been allowed for family time on Thanksgiving. But, I feel sure the prohibition on eating turkey on that day is still in place. (that made for some creative meals on Thanksgiving, spaghetti anyone?)

     Elissa Wall in “Stolen Innocence” (copyright 2008) explains that FLDS did not celebrate traditional Christian holidays like Christmas and Easter. (page 64-65) FLDS did celebrate birthdays, even of deceased church leaders. (page 65)  From Ms. Wall’s account of celebrating Halloween for the first time, it was clear FLDS did not celebrate that holiday either. (page 261-262)

     My memories of Jane and Sam Whaley coming to the house we shared with another family in the Greenville church in 1994, are clear. Jane was given a tour of the house and commented on the Christmas tree we had displayed. She liked it and pointed it out to Sam. She even asked where it had been purchased? However, back then word was getting around the church that certain traditional things should be left out of the celebration. Santa Claus, over decorating with elves and reindeer were to be avoided. Wreaths were fine as long as they were not gaudy. Little did we know that in years to come Christmas would not be celebrated at all for WOFF members.

     Years ago, the first holiday to be jettisoned at WOFF was Halloween. Well, that would be obvious. Celebrating demonic things did not fit with the direction God had for WOFF or any other churches who were following the lead of Jane Whaley. “It is not wise to make light of demons.”

     Next, Valentine’s Day got the axe. “Why if you knew the roots of the tradition, you would not allow it in your home.” (Greek mythology) So, the pattern was set. Research soon was done on other holidays. ” By her death, the founder of Mother’s Day regretted even starting it.” Father’s Day could not be done if mother’s were left out. Soon the roots of other days like Fourth of July- “Firecrackers were invented by the Chinese to scare off devils.” Every holiday came under scrutiny. Easter? Well, “that date is tied to the phases of the moon, how can God be in that?” Easter bunnies and Easter eggs? “Signs of early druid worship.”

     In years past, WOFF had held special “Christmas Music Services” that later transitioned into just “Special Music” services. Relatives and friends in the community were invited. The crowds were large on some nights and the singing services were scheduled for two nights to accommodate the crowds. However, it became harder and harder to find Christmas songs that could stand the many tests. After all, Jane’s brother said “No where in the Bible does it say angels sing.” That bit of information took out several songs. Since the service was “an outreach”, Jane began to write songs that told the story of Jesus’ life from the gospels. Some were quite lengthy. All of this came to a head as Jane was “realizing” how demonic birthdays were. She then proclaimed Christmas as a birthday celebration for Jesus and therefore, it must be stopped. She said she had come to this “revelation a long time ago and was just now able to share it with the people. God had dealt with her.” That was a year full of relatives, co-workers and people in the community calling into question the happenings at WOFF.

     WOFF members were coached to write our relatives letters explaining our new understanding and why they would not celebrate Christmas as in years past. This was a very tense time as some relatives became hostile and felt personally rejected from the stopping of family get-togethers with all the traditional doings. Many “walk out strategies” were formed. First, no presents; then presents received way before the season or after December 25th may be kept. Office parties for those still working for companies not owned by church members were a special deal. Even companies owned by church members with employees other than WOFF church members, had a sticky path to walk. What about Christmas bonuses or turkeys given out at Thanksgiving? Do you accept those gifts? If not, how do you refuse a bonus? It was such a confusing time. If you accepted the gift and were not supposed to, then you were “partaking of the table of demons!”

     As a church, we were shown the “Origins of Christmas” video from the History Channel. Some children were encouraged to cover their eyes and ears. As well as certain parts were fast-forwarded even for the adults! From this video, the groundwork to reject Christmas AND birthdays was laid.

     After all, WOFF had so many other special meetings and seminars that focused on “the things of God”, why would they need holidays? WOFF had week long seminars in the month of May which was set around the week of Memorial Day. Then in July there was a youth seminar for everyone. This was usually the week of or weekend of the Fourth of July. Next, there was November seminar which was the week of Thanksgiving. The last Friday of these week long meetings evolved into a “Fellowship Night”.  Usually, children in 6th grade and under would stay at the church for dinner and games. Seventh grade and up would go to Jane and Sam’s for dinner and fellowship. For parents, you were expected to be with your children to “help take hold of their play time.” Then afterwards, most everyone was expected to help with clean-up. This meant yet another long evening as groups were assigned certain tasks to keep things moving.

    As in WOFF, FLDS did not celebrate major holidays, they had there own celebrations. Elissa Wall further explains, “… We had our own events to celebrate during the year, three of which took place in the summer months.” (page 65)

     The “B” in the “B.I.T.E model” stands for “Behavoir Control”. Steven Hassan explains an aspect of this in “Releasing the Bonds”(copyright 2000). He writes, “In the case of Jehovah Witnesses, members are told not to celebrate birthdays or holidays, like Easter or Christmas, because if they do, they will be in sin.”(page 47)  That is one of the first questions a WOFFer gets when they tell someone that they do not celebrate Christmas or birthdays; are you a Jehovah Witness?

     The Apostle Paul writes about certain convictions that need to be kept personal and not neccesarily taught as doctrine in the church.  

Romans 14:22
Your personal convictions [on such matters]–exercise [them] as in God’s presence, keeping them to yourself[striving only to know the truth and obey His will]. Blessed (happy, to be envied) is he who has no reason to judge himself for what he approves [who does not convict himself by what he chooses to do]. (Amplified version- Jane Whaley approved version, emphasis added)

     So many of Jane Whaley’s personal convictions are taught as valid doctrine. These “revelations” just end up being another tool of control. Sadly, this control process has been going on for years and has harmed many folks.

     Again in “Stolen Innocence”, Ms. Wall writes, “Our religion left no room for logical reasoning and honest questioning. Warren made no attempt to understand or tolerate any of this, deeming it as absolute rebellion”.  (page 44) Again, as with FLDS so it is with WOFF. Logical reasoning and honest questions about anything was not tolerated.  If you did not agree with Jane Whaley as she “heard God”, it was hard to stay at WOFF. That was especially true in the area of celebrating holidays and birthdays.

     Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life.

      (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )

Criteria for Cults, Information control, Uncategorized

Why No Note Taking During the Service!

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     Several times it has been mentioned that during the services note taking was not allowed. Well, this was not always the case. It changed during a service when a woman came to the microphone. She was an office helper and it was common to see her at the podium making announcements. She said she had just read the notes from the notebook of a certain young man. She called his name and it was known she had been “helping” this young fellow and his family. This fellow’s father was the construction worker in the post about the magazine prohibition.

    The woman began to explain to Jane and others in a general address, that she had looked around during the services and seen people taking notes and not paying attention to “the word” (usually being preached by Jane). She put forth the idea that taking notes was a distraction. In order to prove her point, she began to read to the whole congregation the notes the young man had taken. Now, some were incomplete thoughts- BUT, THEY WERE NOTES! They were his personal notes!  It would be a safe assumption to say he did not expect them to be read aloud to the congregation. The content of the pages is NOT the issue here. From this discovery by this fledgling lieutenant, Jane approved the banning of note taking during services. The only approved note taking was scripture references: no dates, no names, no personal reflections, nothing but scripture references with not even a word or two about the scriptures!  

      The effect was clear and near immediate. “Note Nazis” sprang up EVERYWHERE! You were encouraged to watch your neighbor and make sure they were “taking hold” of the new dictates. Being watched for such details was a horrible feeling that just perpetuated itself on so many areas at WOFF.

     Several children took special interest in their ability to critique and report on adult behavior. During one service, a young boy told his mom that a visiting Brazilian was taking notes during the singing. The mom felt her usual pressure to make sure she reported any transgressions, told Jane in front of the whole congregation. Jane immediately called this man’s name and he was visibly flustered. He went to the front to talk to Jane and explain himself (get checked out..). After a brief conversation, Jane announced to everyone that the notes were okay because he was taking notes on the songs for his church in Brazil. So, the tension was diffused. However, the commandment to keeping watching the behavior of everyone in the service was clear. No one, well almost no one was exempt.

     This spying behavior is clearly explained as a characteristic of a destructive mind control group in Steven Hassan’s “Releasing the Bonds” (copyright 2000) . During the explanation of the B.I.T.E. model of common mind control behaviors; he explains the “I” as representing “Information control”. He explains: “People are expected to spy on one another and report improper activites or comments, such as criticism of the leader, doctrine or organization.” (page 49)

     It should also be noted that the spying requirement on each other was in FLDS. Elissa Wall in “Stolen Innocence“, outlines a situtation where her older sister went to Warren Jeffs about the doubts her mother was having. This led to the break up of her family. ( page 55) This was totally acceptable behavior in FLDS. Yet another similarity between FLDS and WOFF.

     The stopping of members taking notes went along with the increased contol over the audio or video tapes of the services. Since the “attack in 1995” (Inside Edition);  the tapes of services were increasingly controlled. First, you had to sign the tapes out with the person running the sound booth. You could take them with you but, were warned not to leave them in your car! “That could open the church up to an attack.” Next, you could not take the tapes off of the property, you had to listen to them in the fellowship hall. This was required for people missing a service or many of the folks on church discipline. Most nights of a week long seminar, tapes of the morning services or previous evening services were played after the evening service. If you missed the morning service, you were expected to stay after the evening service and watch the tape. Yes, WOFF would score pretty high when it comes to “Information control” as compared to other well documented religious mind control groups.

     Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life.

      (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )

Criteria for Cults, FLDS vs WOFF, Uncategorized

Am I Wrong? Please, Let Me Know….

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     “Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear.” – Thomas Jefferson

     Am I wrong about the list of similarities between a group like FLDS and another group such as WOFF? Am I wrong based on the facts and not emotion? It matters not how much you or anyone else love and admire Warren Jeffs or Jane Whaley. What are the observed facts about the control methods used in both groups?

     If you are in WOFF; you may say you are not being controlled. If that be the case, then express a desire to watch the news and not depend on the father-son news reporting team to funnel the “important” events to you in a service. If it be the case that there is no control over the information allowed; then subscribe to the local newspaper and read it and talk about what is in it to other members. If you are free to chose, then buy a new television and subscribe to satellite service as Jane does. A source that knows, says there are two satellites on Jane’s roof. (or at least there were a few years ago.) If there is no control going on at WOFF, then listen to your radio in your car with other members present. Why would WOFF members not be allowed to do these things?

     Concerning the beliefs in each group, they do differ. But, does that matter? No. The beliefs in many groups actually go through changes just as the methods to control individuals go through evolution and change. As far as the individuals in each group, there are very likely sweet, loving people in both groups. I can vouch for many in WOFF as being good hearted, decent people who would help you do most anything needed.

      It is the control methods used in everyday life of the members that has caught my attention. That is where lives are controlled and hurt – in the daily application of the control techniques seen in both groups. It is not just these two groups. As will be shared in weeks to come, the control methods are pretty much the same in most EVERY religious controlling group that I have studied. It is as if a “Handbook for Religious Cult Leaders” has been written and is being sold to certain individual leaders! Maybe the “book” is handed out for FREE! But, as people follow the instructions in this common scenario for controlling folks; it costs dearly. Families are broken, relationships are torn, individuals experience fear, confusion and anxiety. Children experience intense fears not beneficial for them and which may well scar them for years to come. Irrational fears begin to govern the lives of otherwise stable group members. It is amazing the dynamics of how individuals succumb to the “group think” and group pressures felt as the leaders mold and fashion the lives of their followers.

     And to all you good WOFF readers; if I am wrong on everything, then you have nothing to worry about. If I am wrong on most things, then you have a little to be concerned over. Thus, if I am right and accurate in my observations to any large degree, then all of you should take note and begin to ask some of the same questions that many who have left asked and are still asking. Asking questions is NOT a sin, no matter what you have been told. (read the quote above..)

     As Brent Jeffs said in “Lost Boy”, “It is amazing how well fear can work to surpress rational thought..” (page 99)   When the fear based control methods such as the ones outlined in previous posts are used day in and day out; the effects are devastating. Many folks do not know the depths of how they are being affected until they leave and have stopped being molded and directed by narcissistic cult leaders. Many former members try to stuff down the feelings, questions and doubts. But, it is best to get the answers to the questions that may haunt and badger those who leave a cult. There is help available.

Questions and comments may be sent to author@religiouscultsinfo.com

     Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life. There are some good readers inside of WOFF. I know for sure.. 🙂

     (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )

Criteria for Cults, FLDS vs WOFF, Uncategorized

FLDS vs. WOFF – the Similarities – part 6

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     In both “Lost Boy” and “Stolen Innocence”, both authors give details of the struggles within their families. Specifically, the emotional trauma of their siblings leaving or “being put out on the side of the road” (page 47 – Stolen Innocence). Also, the threat and practice of being “reassigned” within FLDS was heart breaking to read about. Obviously, the daily struggles within FLDS for the families were a big part of the lives of each author growing up.

     Reading these accounts was difficult on many levels. The number of families split up and broken at WOFF over the years is no small number.  Over the years, the list only continues to grow of broken families or traumatized individuals stemming from WOFF and its practices. A few families would leave as a unit. But, the emotional baggage of having been a part of WOFF was great on any level for single people or families.

     There was a the couple at WOFF who moved back west. The husband left and originally the mother stayed with the two boys. She went for a visit and never returned to WOFF. That story was quieted and not spoken about much at all.

     There was the family that got up to leave WOFF in the middle of a service while certain folks tried to physically restrain the father. It was a big to do and left many folks shaking. Jane told the “strong guys” to “let him go”. He secured his wife and children and left. It was a big scene. A couple of days later, they were packed and headed back West to start a new life. They had been a part of the church and school for years. The children were clearly befuddled and confused.

     There have been many young folks to leave WOFF and experience the trauma of being told -“you are not serving God!” “You will lose the “Call of God” and never make it!” The devil will take you to hell; you will go back to your vomit. You can’t make it on your own. The “unclean” will take you over! Yes, some did go back to their destructive habits. But, is that a reflection on their new freedoms or their previous environment? Were they ever given the help needed to stay away from old habits or did they just develop a pattern of dependency?

     How do we count the families that were broken as one spouse would leave WOFF and the other not, or a grown child would leave and strike out on the own without the “blessing of Jane”..? From just the ones I know about and can remember…  I can think of 27 families or individuals directly affected either by a spouse or child leaving.  I can only remember one single lady who Jane said would be better off back with her parents… All others left in a cloud of confusion. These were folks with a “Judas spirit”.. according to Jane. She would often ask “Who is next?” This came more as a challenge then a true question.

     So, what if my exact count is off? I believe I have missed by a few. The point should be well taken – broken families are common to FLDS and WOFF and evident and obvious to anyone who will examine the subject.

     What is the common characteristic in the two groups that would lead to families splitting and/or children leaving their family and the church? It is difficult to name just one attribute, but here is a key one.

    “Your only real family are [sic] the members of the priesthood who are faithful to our prophet. – Warren Jeffs

     FLDS members were taught that the prophet spoke for God. As time passed, Warren Jeffs spoke for his father, the prophet and thus “for God”. By the end of his reign, Warren Jeffs had no checks or balances on his governing powers. Women and children were considered “property of the priesthood” and could be reassigned to another man by the “revelation” of the prophet. Thus, no real stability to assure the family units would remain in tact. Your “priesthood family” was more crucial to your life now and in the hereafter. 

 Matthew 12:46-50 (Amplified Bible)

46Jesus was still speaking to the people when behold, His mother and brothers stood outside, seeking to speak to Him. 47[a]Someone said to Him, Listen! Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak to You.  48But He replied to the man who told Him, Who is My mother, and who are My brothers?49And stretching out His hand toward [not only the twelve disciples but all] [b]His adherents, He said, Here are My mother and My brothers.50For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother!

     This scripture was often used to justify elevating the relationships with those who were in the church over natural family members who are not “doing the will of God”… Would Jesus really teach his followers to ignore family members who are not in WOFF or who are struggling to accept Jane Whaley as God’s only mouthpiece?

     WOFF members are taught that Jane Whaley hears God and knows God’s will. She “hears” for members in matters great and small. There are no checks and balances in the power structure used at WOFF. Many times, I have seen a spouse so entrenched in their faith in Jane and Jane speaking for God, that the other spouse is a secondary consideration in the decisions of the family. If there is one spouse who does not agree with Jane, then the other one must chose and many times that choice is Jane’s word over their mate’s.  At WOFF, choosing a spouse’s words or leading over the direct word from Jane Whaley could mean the family being put out of the church and “missing the move of God” (heaven..). The fear of being “put out” or “on church discipline” resulted in stress in families.

      Thus, the seeds of destruction lie within the spiritual abuse environment created for the members. Each leader promised strict adherance to the beliefs and practices would give hope in the hereafter. Extreme “faithfulness and obedience” to the doctrines and “words of the prophet” in FLDS can lead to “being lifted up at the last day”. If you “doubt the Prophet and his will”, you could miss heaven.

     In WOFF, following the “apostle” Jane would result in “fulfilling the call of God” (making it to heaven). To not “fulfill your call”, (follow “God’s will” through Jane) could cause you to miss heaven.

     How can there be long term stability within the families with these practices in each group?

      Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life.

      (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )