Writing to Heal- Dr. James Pennebaker – Review by Vive’ Griffith

“Research shows writing about emotional experiences can have health benefits.” Review by Vive’ Griffith – Office of Public Affairs – resource link – here

The title should not surprise any who reads this blog. In October of 2008, I began a writing journey that continues. I had no knowledge of the studies which show there can be benefits to writing about emotional experiences. My original intent was to inform others, relatives and friends, of my experiences while inside Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). The first offerings included simple explanations of the group’s leadership and the group dynamics which many considered absurd. As I began the process of sorting out my experiences, the first benefit was simple- clarity. The traumatic nature of many events inside WOFF served to cloud the time frame and context of the scenes. By writing and purposely remembering the players, the sights, the smells and words spoken, clarity has come to many a confused memory. It has given me further confidence that many a memory has been confirmed by other survivors from WOFF.

From our resource article:
“For nearly 20 years, Dr. James W. Pennebaker has been giving people an assignment: write down your deepest feelings about an emotional upheaval in your life for 15 or 20 minutes a day for four consecutive days. Many of those who followed his simple instructions have found their immune systems strengthened. Others have seen their grades improved. Sometimes entire lives have changed.”
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Is WOFF an absolute religious monarchy?

Recently, in a conversation with a friend, I told him that I had a fascination in watching historical depictions about the early struggles of our country. I told him the struggle for independence from Great Britain was similar in many respects to a Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) member deciding to leave the group. He said he could see the similarities. In an effort to explain life inside of WOFF, I will share my thoughts from my time and observation while inside.

Last night, I watched another installment of the HBO documentary series “John Adams.” The beginning of the mini-series shows the struggles of our country and the divisions which took place over the idea of independence from the mother country- England. The leaders first expressing such radical thoughts as making a Declaration of Independence were not always received with gladness. The American colonies were divided at times and there was much heated debate between many who would later end up with their names etched in our history books. England supposedly offered “protection.” The downside was the taxation without representation in Parliament as a cost for such “protection.” Yet, the King’s edicts were to be followed regardless. He spoke and those in his kingdom were to obey. Long live the King! And your personal opinions did not count and could cost you dearly, if they were contrary to the King.
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“Dishonesty is the result of perfectionism.” – Nori Muster

After leaving the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA) conference held in early July, I have an increased desire to learn about dysfunctional groups, the results of being involved in such groups and how to heal from involvement in them. These desires have led to searching and more time spent reading. As sometimes happens when I am reading more than one book at a time, the ideas in each resource begin to cross-pollinate and relationships are noticed between the materials. As mentioned in the previous post, I am reading- “Rebuilding Shattered Lives: Treating Complex PTSD and Dissociative Disorders” by James A Chu, (Copyright©2011 by John Wiley and Sons, Inc. Hoboken, NJ ISBN- 978-0-470-76874-7). The author focuses on treatment models for adults who have experience abuse in their childhood.

At the same time, I have been reading – “Cult Survivors Handbook: How to live in the Material World Again” by Nori Muster. (Copyright©2010 by Nori Muster, published by Blurb.com, www.norimuster.com) Though I have not completely finished either book, I need to share the understanding that has come so far. [As a disclaimer, by quoting these works I do not assume any endorsement by either author of my conclusions or my work on this blog. ]

In this post, I will provide resources supporting the title and relate the findings to the high-demand faith group, Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF), which I departed in July of 2008. I will also quote from Chu’s work in describing the results of child abuse as seen in adults. My contention is that the perfectionism in WOFF has highly detrimental effects on its members and requires dishonesty on several levels in order to remain a faithful member.
Continue reading “Dishonesty is the result of perfectionism.” – Nori Muster

Adult Members Suffer “Child Abuse” at WOFF

Many times the question comes up to me concerning how people can become a member in a group such as Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF)? In answering this question, I often reflect on my own path into the group. While considering that road, I must also admit not everyone joins following the path I did, nor does everyone become a “faithful” member in the same time frame as me. Though the dynamics of influence are the same for almost everyone to be connected or drawn into WOFF; each individual has different needs and may identify with different positive parts of the WOFF presentation in order to decide to join. Some may need a job or place to live, while others need financial help, child care or just new friends. Likewise, not everyone becomes emerged in the sub-culture to the same level on a set timeline. That being said, not everyone develops the same intense dependency on the leader, Jane Whaley; but, I would contend that every faithful member develops some degree of dependency and that level of dependency determines their evolving emotional state and how they respond to the punishment for breaking the unwritten rules.

Regardless of how difficult as it is for those on the outside to understand how an adult could become so dependent on another adult for very common basic decisions, it is the state that many faithful WOFF members find themselves in– daily. Just how that happens has been discussed in previous posts on this blog. For now, let’s acknowledge that it does and that it is a common occurrence in high-demand faith groups which use mind control techniques. We will use a few resources to confirm that fact.

“Cult members are expected to surrender autonomy, and often must ask permission for routine activities, like using the bathroom.” (Releasing the Bonds, Steven Hassan, Copyright©2000, Freedom of Mind Press)

As previously mentioned on this blog, WOFF controls many aspects of a member’s private time in the bathroom, especially the males.
Continue reading Adult Members Suffer “Child Abuse” at WOFF

Phoenix Project- Winds of Destruction…

The Phoenix Project presentation was Thursday evening during the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA) conference earlier this month. Time and space was set aside for not only art work of different forms, but presentations by survivors of poetry, literary works, videos, songs, and classical piano. The time of presentation allowed survivors of high-demand groups to express to an understanding audience, the thoughts and emotions concerning their experiences. I wrote this piece before realizing it could be presented for consideration in the Project. After a couple of edits to cut down the length, I read the following narrative about a meeting held on the grounds of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) in 2008.
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Winds of Destruction….

Severe weather experts would record that during the first six months of 2008, “Tornadoes caused 111 deaths through the end of May, the second highest death toll for any year in the Doppler radar era…” ** Though I would live through those months unaware of the death and destruction caused by this severe weather pattern, the winds of destruction blowing in my life that spring would be an ironic reflection of the course of nature’s wrath.

April 9, 2008 was a Wednesday.

This day began as many other days. As a member of the Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) in Spindale, NC, living in shared housing with other church members was a normal and even an expected practice. We had moved into this household arrangement in October 2002. My wife, son, daughter and I shared a spacious five bedroom house on a cul-de-sac with another church family of three. There were two other church families living close by on our street- Carver Lane. My wife taught fourth grade in the church sponsored school where my children attended. My son was beginning his middle school years. This was my daughter’s senior year and graduation was scheduled for June 1st. Preparation had already begun for this event which was looked upon with much anticipation and excitement.
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Remember This…

As I have been doing my daily deeds, I have been reflecting on the ICSA conference attended last week. There was so much good information shared and many new relationships formed. It was a lot to take in all at once. So, as happens with me and I suspect others, I remembered things said during meetings that at the time did not get my attention or make an “Ah Hah” moment. Today, I remembered a quick comment made by a speaker that has since jarred me. I cannot remember exactly which speaker said this since I believe it was in a session where a panel of counselors and experts were leading the meeting. The comment paraphrased was “Leaders of these groups have to control their members because of their own insecurities.” The manner in which it was said conveyed the speaker’s position that we all should remember this. This is where we start when understanding the motivations of a leader of a controlling group. We must get past the smoke and mirrors of any religious authority or special enlightenment. We must push through the euphemistic phrases used by the leader and even the leadership. The reason for the control of a group leader to keep people INSIDE the group is NOT healthy. The motivation is from the leader’s own insecurities. Okay, that being said, we are talking about destructive controlling groups here of which I firmly believe Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) has become one of those groups.

The statement remembered today brought me back into focus on several levels. When getting caught up in telling the horror stories of members inside and those who have left, lost in the menagerie of descriptions replete with heartache and drama is the starting point. Lost can be the reason for the leader’s profound motivation to keep people within their grasp and control. The starting point is the leader’s dysfunction, NOT the state of those recruited into the group. Time after time, people pose the question often in a sense of superiority – How could anyone get involved in a group like that? Though this question is viable in the discussion, it is not the starting point. The starting point is the dysfunction of the leader and the measures growing out of that dysfunction which trap victims in the web of control. In my opinion, the leaders of these groups are NOT mentally healthy. True some evolve into a black hole of dysfunction, but that still does not excuse the outcome nor should it cause us to begin with the victim when considering the evolution of the group.
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Real People Getting Real Help…

Conference Handbook
Conference Handbook

Last week, I attended the International Cultic Studies (ICSA) conference in Washington, D.C. During the meetings and in between sessions, I found real people seeking and finding real help from those who could provide the insights and resources meant to further recovery from involvement in a high-demand group. I do not regret any of the changes in my schedule or the cost of attending the conference. My experience may not be exactly what other attendees encountered, but I believe the majority of the people around me felt the same as they left the conference.

Starting in February, I planned this trip. As new information was released, the excitement grew. One benefit I expected was to meet a few of the professionals whom I had been in contact with over these last few years. For various reasons, I had contacted professionals across the country involved in either the studies surrounding high demand groups or directly helping survivors. I met these folks and many more. There were people from many different nations as well as many from different States.
Continue reading Real People Getting Real Help…