Tag Archives: Cult Criteria

Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized, WOFF Don'ts

The WOFF “Don’t” List – Part 3

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     As we seek to continue listing the “don’ts” for the members of WOFF, this post warrants a brief recap of the “don’ts” list so far. There were some of the obvious; no alcohol, no tobacco, no movies, no TV, no radio, no newspapers, no magazines. Books were evil, if not checked out by leadership. (especially books quoted from in these posts!)  Don’t read your Bible too much! We have also covered some “don’ts” for attending services. Don’t buy a car or house or interview for a job or plan on attending college or even chose your classes with out “getting it checked out”. Alas, I realize I have inadvertantly omitted a couple of the finer points which add to our yet ever growing list of “don’ts”.

     WOFF members don’t drink alcohol or even root beer or Cheerwine®, or diet Cheerwine®. There was some doubt cast on ginger ale for a while. I am not sure the status of that “don’t”. Are the reasons obvious enough? The following scripture was used for many “don’ts” – a tool for making many things off limits. 

1 Thessalonians 5:22 (Amplified Bible)

22Abstain from evil [shrink from it and keep aloof from it] in whatever form or whatever kind it may be.

      Root “BEER”? Cheer-“WINE”, Ginger- “ALE”.  Yep, that appears like alcohol to Jane and members of WOFF. Well, more accurately, they think others will think less of their “holy walk with Jesus”, if they are seen drinking these beverages. “It could cause others to stumble“- that was a common addition to the previous rationale for many of the “don’ts”.  I know of a male member who was a diabetic who was specifically told he should not buy diet Cheerwine®. Also, don’t use cooking sherry or other types of alcohol in your cooking! You could stir-up a taste for alcohol and before you know it you will be having wine with your meal.

     Verse 21  of the previous passage was not as equally stressed, but as important none the less:

     21But test and prove all things [until you can recognize] what is good; [to that] hold fast.   

     I believe that was the Apostle Paul’s plea for good common sense BEFORE he mentioned “abstain from evil”.  He was no stranger the Law of Moses and knew how constricting the “daily don’ts” of the law had become over time. Suppose that was why he did not advocate returning to that OLD covenant and the regime of restrictive “man-made laws”? I hear the reasoning from WOFF members now. “But, these are not “man-made” rules; “God” spoke them to us!” We are not under the Old Testament”.  Okay, please, keep reading.

     Before we go futher into the list, I remind my readers  that I will not be able to recount every don’t. I simply don’t know them all.  But, please, don’t blame me! Some of these don’ts are not bad as a guidelines. But, remember to stay at WOFF you don’t have a choice. You do the do’s (a subject covered later.)  and don’t do the don’ts or you may be in rebellion and put out!  Also, I may list a “don’t” from one time period of my time of 16 years that turned to a “do” or a “maybe do”, depending on if you heard God or Jane Whaley say you could do that thing. Above all else, let us not confuse the matter of “don’ts”. 

      As a further explanation; it is not the specific list of “don’ts” that is the vital issue at hand when discussing life at WOFF. Certainly in this country, many folks can and do abstain from many things in the name of keeping their religious preferences. Many other religious groups that are organized in a similar fashion as WOFF have equal or even more “don’ts” to observe. The point is the great number of very minute conduct rules and how they are used to control members who seek Jane’s approval.  That is the purpose of this series of posts. Many folks who live around WOFFers see the way they dress alike, act alike and even talk alike. ( I know- I were one. My closet still has several pairs of khakis and button-down shirts.) These posts will list many of the rules that kept/keep WOFF members in the Jane Whaley approved group . You will also learn some of the “reasoning” behind the LONG list of  “don’ts”. I will not even consider that I could provide “reasons” for all of the “don’ts”, but I will give what I know and remember from my time at WOFF. Don’t stop here… there is more.. select the prompt to read more..

Continue reading The WOFF “Don’t” List – Part 3 →

Behavior Control, Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized

A Knock at the Door… A Visit from WOFF Members

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     Recently, while working from home, I received a knock at the door. This in itself was strange as the number of visitors has been limited. The door to my place had been recently replaced and thus no peephole installed. So, I asked, who is it? The person identified themselves and I knew it was a WOFF member. So, I opened the door to two WOFF members. They expected an invitation inside, but since they had given no call ahead of time, I refused them entry and we talked in the hallway. I asked them why no call ahead of time? “We could have met somewhere”. The reply – “We just wanted to show-up.”  There were smiles at first, but they soon faded.

     Before I go any further, let me say that I was not recording and have no real way to tell everything that was said on either behalf, mine or theirs. So, upfront know that this post is NOT a full account of this encounter. Also, I am leaving some parts out on purpose to not reveal the identities of the two ladies. For now, it does not add to the purpose of the post to identify them.  For sure, you the informed reader will understand the main points and get the gist of the events. I purpose to make it plain as possible.

     The first lady admitted she had been reading this blog. She then went on to assess the content as being “lies, full of lies!” I asked which part? She said “All of it. It is all false!” I got the message she did not like my blog. 🙁 I mentioned to this person that I was telling my experiences. (Remember, my experiences cannot be taken from me. Learned that at WOFF.)  She asked at some point, “How could you have slipped so far?” She gave me the impression that she thought I was “backslidden”.

    Then the second lady said the piece I wrote about her was wrong and false. She claims to have spoken in person to me on a Saturday morning about the thoughts I was having. ( I disagreed..) She did not dispute that I was “put out of the Church” with a phone call. At this point, she was “gagging on gnats”, as far as I could tell. She said many things about losing the “call of God” and “blaspheming God”. She made light of the place I lived. “What are you doing here?” She gestured with her hands as if to mock the place of my residence. From my memory, this was a common tactic to use on those who have left WOFF. The fact is most everyone in WOFF lives in very nice houses, but at what cost? The main difference in the place I live now  and the one I left, is just that- I live here. No one from WOFF, ” in authority” had to approve of my decision. In that regard, this is a beautiful place to live!

     The next door neighbors came up the stairs and I introduced the two ladies at my door. I told them that these ladies said I could not or should not have a blog about my previous experiences at the cult church. The neighbors were a little taken aback, nodded and went inside. This comment set these two ladies off into a rant. They again gestured with their hands and said “See there, why did you have to add the last part?” I asked isn’t that why you are here? You think I post “lies”? You want me to stop, right?  No, “We are here to encourage you to find God and the call of God.” “We are not telling you that you can’t post on your blog.” The second lady began to recount my previous “evangelistic” activities while at WOFF.  I told her I gave those folks so much “false religion” because that was what I was hearing. I repeated what I was told. She looked a little more upset but, did agree that “we have all given others religion, that is what we came out of…”

     They went on to say that I was using the books for sources over the Bible. That I had slid way off the mark. I asked them, “Are there were no other books to read beside the Bible?” They did not answer that one but, they said, “Truth is in the Bible! Not other books.” (okay, so, I will put more scriptures in my posts. I have resisted for not wanting to sound “preachy.”)

     At one point, I told them that when you list the characteristics of other cult groups and chart them against my own personal experiences with WOFF, there are so many similarities! They had no real knowledge of other groups so they could not comment on that point.   I told them that several other folks said I was very accurate! Though I did not volunteer names. 

     The second lady claimed to care about me and the many years our families had spent “in the things of God”.  I mentioned that this was the third time we have talked since I left in July of 2008? One of those times, I paid the her group a surprise visit and that one does not count.  So, if she cared, why so few contacts?  Then I  asked her about her husband?  She had mentioned he was glad to know that I had showed -up at the surprise meeting. “He wished he could have been there”.  Would he talk to me? She said,  “I don’t know.” Then I asked, “Would he be allowed to talk to me?” She did not answer as I feel certain she truly did not know. 

     During the conversation, my landlord came through the hall wanting to enter the apartment across the hall. I again introduced the ladies but, this time left off the “blog and cult” remarks. Then I turned to the second lady and said, “Better?”

      A little later during this exchange, one of my neighbors came back out and asked a question. He said, “Excuse me, you mentioned you had a blog on religious cults. My girl-friend and I would like to read that. What is the address?” At that point, I gave him the address and mentioned I could answer any of his questions. That comment was a surprise to me. It was a question of his own.    

     The second lady did most of the talking and stayed more calm. In fact, she spoke very sincerely and I told her so. The first lady spoke a rehearsed type of speech that obviously had been approved. She got upset and shook her finger at me. She also mentioned my jeans. That bothered her very much. The conversation did get heated at times. At one point, I asked them if they ever had doubts that Jane Whaley heard God perfectly every time? To which there was no reply. (you may read more by clicking the prompt)    Continue reading A Knock at the Door… A Visit from WOFF Members →

FLDS, FLDS vs WOFF, Uncategorized

FLDS vs WOFF – Married Couples – part 9

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As mentioned before, many similar behaviors in FLDS and WOFF may not have affected each member the same in every case. If you were “not walking in a certain place in God”, you may not have been told certain things about certain events, happenings or teachings. This will become more evident as this subject is developed.

At FLDS, Flora Jessop in “Church of LIES” (copyright 2009), “Warren began to take even more control over people’s personal lives in a series of what he called “adjustments”. .. He also adjusted people’s private lives, increasing the strictures. He took the pulpit personally to explain the sex act to the congregation, telling them how it was supposed to be done: “If the female enjoys it, ” he said “you are doing it wrong. Sex is for procreation only.” She goes on to explain other restrictions in this area. (page 197)

Elissa Wall in “Stolen Innocence”(copyright 2008), tells her view of these increased restrictions and “adjustments”.    “Rulon (Jeffs) began performing a sort of marriage counseling supposedly aimed at resolving marital conflict, but it was less about solving problems and more about control over husbands and wives.    With his new practice, the prophet became privy to members’ most intimate secrets, and Rulon was not afraid to put this information to use. Under the guise of counseling, the prophet — and later Warren—began making life-altering decisions such as controlling the sexual relations of spouses  … Warren effectively began to encourage some women to spy on their husbands in the name of the Lord, wanting them to come forward with any infraction, no matter how small.” (page 85- emphasis added)

My experience in this area will not be the testimony of others. I will relate my own experience, what I know to be true and as accurate as I can be without being inappropriate. At WOFF, there were at least two time periods where the push to “purify the marriage bed” was made known and preached. The first time frame is not clear in my memory, but I believe it was during the transition from Greenville to WOFF in NC. It continued for a time after we moved to WOFF.

The married couples were grouped in classes to be taught certain subjects having to do with contraception and marital relations. These classes were taught by those who had proven they were not “giving to the unclean” in their relationships. The number of times a month “to come togther” was suggested as well as the approved contraception method. Very explicit reasons were given for using the approved method. Other methods were taught to promote “abortions” of sorts. Many folks lived several to a household, so precautions to keep the time discrete were discussed and how to “cover the tracks” for those who were single or unlearned of the practices. “We don’t want to lose an attack at someone because of your time together.” The classes went so far as to give the approved position for intimate times. Your thoughts during your intimate times were also subject counsel.

During this first emphasis, you were to “check it out with leadership” when you and your spouse were considering “going into the marriage bed”. It just so happens the person I went to was the same fellow that called me in January to complain about this blog. This requirement was awkward, but being submitted to the teaching and wanting to not make waves, I went to him and discussed our private intentions. He seemed uncomfortable at times. Well, that was a mutual feeling! This was someone who represented “authority” in my life as well as had/has frequent access to the pulpit at WOFF. Finally, one evening, he sensed my questions and how the conversation would go. He said,” John, we don’t do that any more.”  I looked puzzled. His next statement I cannot quote as clearly as his first statement but, it was something like, “God is leading us in a different direction.” He was saying that we don’t “check it out with leadership” about marriage relations anymore. I did not have to keep talking to him about that.

Later, I suspected that one couple that had left and moved back West had “spilled the beans” to the press and it hit the papers – somewhere. Events and confessions of former members apparently had/has a way of “changing the direction of God”. Since I don’t know for sure, that only proves my point! Why did God change the direction? Does anyone else consider that a little strange?

During the last quarter of 2007 and/or the first quarter of 2008; the “move of God” went back in the direction to “purify the marriage bed.” God had changed His mind again?  Not really, “He had always wanted purity in this area, we just not been ready for it. Now, He was coming to us again. Lets don’t have this move of God pass us by!” “But, if you are not ready to get down to business, then you need to walk out of here – right now!” These were several of the transition statements used to introduce the subject again to the middle-aged married couples. These classes were held on Sunday nights and were taught by approved “leadership” that had Jane’s blessing. They were not taped as far as we were told. One reason was the intense personal nature of the subject matter at hand.

The topics were intense and were supposed to promote a “holy marriage”. I witnessed the wife of one man rebuke him in front of us all for “taking care of things himself”. He got up to painfully admit it and ask for prayer. After many meetings couples were encouraged to stay for personal counseling. After a few couples “got breakthroughs”, they would be encouraged to get up and share their changes.

My forced exit from WOFF was during the second quarter of 2008. I have no further information as to the outcome of this second emphasis. But, clearly the direction of the second set of classes was in the same or even a more intense direction than the first emphasis. I have no reason to believe that Jane Whaley and the leadership have lessened their desire to control the area of intimate marriage relationships.

Again, we find another similarity between FLDS and WOFF. I am not sure where the list will end. Just for reference, Jim Jones practiced heavy regulation over the intimate lives of married couples in Peoples Temple. But, that will be a post for another day.

Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life. There are readers at WOFF. I KNOW for sure and will share that post soon.

Look on the right side of any post for “Categories”, select the drop down box and view any previous post by selecting “Uncategorized”. Use the slide bar on the right to scroll down to the bottom. Select “Previous Entries” to review older posts.

(Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )

Behavior Control, Uncategorized

The Toilet Paper Revelation

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     One service seemingly out of no where, Jane Whaley said; “God had told her the right way to put the toilet paper on the roll”. She went on to other subjects then came back to the subject. She asked if we (the members..) wanted to know what God had said? The impression she got was that we all wanted to know.

     Jane then went on to explain that one day (recently was the impression we were given) as she was in the bathroom, she heard God tell her the right way to put the toilet paper in the roll. She said the right way is with the paper rolling over the top. “Do you want to know why?”, she asked. She said that there was less wasted, than if the paper rolls from underneath.

     She went on to also say that God had been dealing with her about folding the end of the paper when she was finished. (as done at a hotel)  As mentioned in previous posts, because of not being allowed to take notes during the service, the date of this revelation is unclear. But who would forget such an essential life enhancing revelation from the Apostle Jane Whaley? It not only was talked about that day, it was the buzz in the church for several days.

     The fallout from this service was amazing. True to form, children began to scrutinize the paper habits of those in their household! There were self-appointed “TP Police”. Some were more vocal than others. Do you know the thoughts that one would have when you finished and had to make to the choice, fold or not fold? Or if it was your turn to change the roll, over or under?

     The pressure to be on the right side of this revelation was VERY GREAT! Because many households had more than one family, bathroom habits were visible by more than your immediate family members. The toilet paper pressure became greater and greater. There was even the question of bringing the paper to a symetrical fold with a neat point and how to best accomplish that! Lessons were available.

     The foray around making sure everyone completes the requirements for toilet paper roll direction and folding neatness became intense. Jane Whaley came to the podium a couple of weeks later to moderate the frenzy. She pointed out that the conversations had gotten out of hand. She reminded folks that she had shared what God told her. It did not mean God would require that same thing for each one of us. Whew! Maybe the bathroom inspections would be less intense! The frenzy did die away – gradually. But, to this day, I still hear that question- over or under? Finally, I have stopped feeling the pressure to fold!

     Why bring this up? Why would Jane bring this up? What could be the basis for Jane even feeling justified to express concern in this area? Many times, I heard the following scripture mentioned when addressing seemingly small details of daily life… 

Job 36:5 (Amplified Bible)

5Behold! God is mighty, and yet despises no one nor regards anything as trivial…

     The whole line of conversation seems off kilter and evidence of the narcissism that Jane displays in her everyday life. The reaction of the members and the effects that “revelations from God” have on this group are amazing and potentially dangerous.

The one on the left is better…   🙂

 

 

     Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life.

      (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )

Books, Resources, Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized

What Criteria Should We Use?

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The words “Jonestown”,  “Heaven’s Gate” and “Branch Davidians” are known by many people. The tragic end of these cults strikes fear in some and bewilderment in others. But what about the names of other churches that have been proven to exhibit just as much control? They are not nearly as well known because their practices have not been investigated or published. What makes a religious group or church considered a cult? What tests should we apply to a group to determine if a group is dangerous or cultish?

According to Steve Hassan, a leading cult expert and counselor; the beliefs of the group do not determine cult status. How does the group control individuals? That is the key. In his book, “Releasing The Bonds, Empowering People to Think for Themselves” He outlines four areas of control that can be questioned for any group. He calls it the BITE model.

Behavior– how are individuals controlled through time commitments and having to ask before making decisions?

Information– What are the restraints on non-cult sources of info? Is there spying on other members?

Thoughts– Is there a Good vs. Evil mindset? Us vs. Them? Use of thought-stopping techniques?

Emotional Control– Use of fear to control decisions? Fear of thinking independently? Fear of losing one’s salvation? Ritual and/or public confession of sins?

Using these keys and the others taught by Hassan, one can know quickly if the group they are joining or are a part of practices mind control and is a cult. The control practices are the ones that limit the individual and prohibit critical thinking. If any of these practices are present turn around and walkout.

(Please, read the “Terms of Use” for this website…)