As mentioned before, many similar behaviors in FLDS and WOFF may not have affected each member the same in every case. If you were “not walking in a certain place in God”, you may not have been told certain things about certain events, happenings or teachings. This will become more evident as this subject is developed.

At FLDS, Flora Jessop in “Church of LIES” (copyright 2009), “Warren began to take even more control over people’s personal lives in a series of what he called “adjustments”. .. He also adjusted people’s private lives, increasing the strictures. He took the pulpit personally to explain the sex act to the congregation, telling them how it was supposed to be done: “If the female enjoys it, ” he said “you are doing it wrong. Sex is for procreation only.” She goes on to explain other restrictions in this area. (page 197)

Elissa Wall in “Stolen Innocence”(copyright 2008), tells her view of these increased restrictions and “adjustments”.    “Rulon (Jeffs) began performing a sort of marriage counseling supposedly aimed at resolving marital conflict, but it was less about solving problems and more about control over husbands and wives.    With his new practice, the prophet became privy to members’ most intimate secrets, and Rulon was not afraid to put this information to use. Under the guise of counseling, the prophet — and later Warren—began making life-altering decisions such as controlling the sexual relations of spouses  … Warren effectively began to encourage some women to spy on their husbands in the name of the Lord, wanting them to come forward with any infraction, no matter how small.” (page 85- emphasis added)

My experience in this area will not be the testimony of others. I will relate my own experience, what I know to be true and as accurate as I can be without being inappropriate. At WOFF, there were at least two time periods where the push to “purify the marriage bed” was made known and preached. The first time frame is not clear in my memory, but I believe it was during the transition from Greenville to WOFF in NC. It continued for a time after we moved to WOFF.

The married couples were grouped in classes to be taught certain subjects having to do with contraception and marital relations. These classes were taught by those who had proven they were not “giving to the unclean” in their relationships. The number of times a month “to come togther” was suggested as well as the approved contraception method. Very explicit reasons were given for using the approved method. Other methods were taught to promote “abortions” of sorts. Many folks lived several to a household, so precautions to keep the time discrete were discussed and how to “cover the tracks” for those who were single or unlearned of the practices. “We don’t want to lose an attack at someone because of your time together.” The classes went so far as to give the approved position for intimate times. Your thoughts during your intimate times were also subject counsel.

During this first emphasis, you were to “check it out with leadership” when you and your spouse were considering “going into the marriage bed”. It just so happens the person I went to was the same fellow that called me in January to complain about this blog. This requirement was awkward, but being submitted to the teaching and wanting to not make waves, I went to him and discussed our private intentions. He seemed uncomfortable at times. Well, that was a mutual feeling! This was someone who represented “authority” in my life as well as had/has frequent access to the pulpit at WOFF. Finally, one evening, he sensed my questions and how the conversation would go. He said,” John, we don’t do that any more.”  I looked puzzled. His next statement I cannot quote as clearly as his first statement but, it was something like, “God is leading us in a different direction.” He was saying that we don’t “check it out with leadership” about marriage relations anymore. I did not have to keep talking to him about that.

Later, I suspected that one couple that had left and moved back West had “spilled the beans” to the press and it hit the papers – somewhere. Events and confessions of former members apparently had/has a way of “changing the direction of God”. Since I don’t know for sure, that only proves my point! Why did God change the direction? Does anyone else consider that a little strange?

During the last quarter of 2007 and/or the first quarter of 2008; the “move of God” went back in the direction to “purify the marriage bed.” God had changed His mind again?  Not really, “He had always wanted purity in this area, we just not been ready for it. Now, He was coming to us again. Lets don’t have this move of God pass us by!” “But, if you are not ready to get down to business, then you need to walk out of here – right now!” These were several of the transition statements used to introduce the subject again to the middle-aged married couples. These classes were held on Sunday nights and were taught by approved “leadership” that had Jane’s blessing. They were not taped as far as we were told. One reason was the intense personal nature of the subject matter at hand.

The topics were intense and were supposed to promote a “holy marriage”. I witnessed the wife of one man rebuke him in front of us all for “taking care of things himself”. He got up to painfully admit it and ask for prayer. After many meetings couples were encouraged to stay for personal counseling. After a few couples “got breakthroughs”, they would be encouraged to get up and share their changes.

My forced exit from WOFF was during the second quarter of 2008. I have no further information as to the outcome of this second emphasis. But, clearly the direction of the second set of classes was in the same or even a more intense direction than the first emphasis. I have no reason to believe that Jane Whaley and the leadership have lessened their desire to control the area of intimate marriage relationships.

Again, we find another similarity between FLDS and WOFF. I am not sure where the list will end. Just for reference, Jim Jones practiced heavy regulation over the intimate lives of married couples in Peoples Temple. But, that will be a post for another day.

Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life. There are readers at WOFF. I KNOW for sure and will share that post soon.

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(Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )