Tag Archives: Jane Whaley

Books, Resources, Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized

Religion Used as a Narcissist’s Tool of Control (4) – Is There Envy at WOFF?

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Is There Envy at WOFF?

  This is the fourth in a series about the subject of narcissism. The source book has been – “Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism” (Copyright©2002, 2003 by Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW, published by FREE PRESS, ISBN-13:978-0-7432-1428-5). I have been quoting excerpts from the source book and comparing them to my experiences at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). Our last post on this book focused on the author’s explanation of “Arrogance” in chapter 3. I put forth my ideas while attempting to explain the author’s observations in light of the religious setting of WOFF.

   Hotchkiss writes, “The Narcissist’s need to secure a sense of superiority encounters an obstacle whenever someone else appears to have something that he or she lacks. Pop goes the internal balloon as the other’s threat to the superiority of Me registers deep within the unconscious…. What weapon does the Narcissist choose to silence the rumblings of shame?… The answer is contempt… Never mind that the “so and so” may be utterly humble and completely unaware of having given offense – this is a narcissistic distortion akin to shame-dumping and may have no connection to reality.” (page 15)

   Honestly, when I first read this chapter it did not register as I still had a problem with assigning to Jane Whaley the characteristic of envy. Part of that is because in my thinking, this trait had to be simply obvious. As I read further and began to recall certain events at WOFF, my thinking began to change. The author makes a point that the alarms and signals of distress in the narcissist register “deep within the unconscious” mind. Also, she writes that the offending party may be “completely unaware of having given offense”. The author continues, “Then comes the laundry list of the other’s flaws and it can get pretty dirty. The intent, usually quite unconscious, is to soil the other (person) enough so that the Narcissist, by comparison is restored to the superior position. There may be awareness of feelings of disdain (always justified of course), but the feeling of envy will be adamantly denied. To admit envy would be to acknowledge inferiority, which no good Narcissist would ever do.” (page 15-16)  

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Books, Resources, Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized, WOFF Updates

Religion Used as a Narcissist’s Tool of Control (3) – WOFF Arrogance?

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  Before we get into the subject of the third post in this series, I must admit I left out a point when closing the previous post. The source book has been – “Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism” (Copyright©2002, 2003 by Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW, published by FREE PRESS, ISBN-13:978-0-7432-1428-5). Our last post on this book focused on the author’s explanation of “magical thinking” in chapter 2. Since Jane Whaley does not believe in magic, we renamed the characteristic “religious delusion” and have attempted to explain the author’s observations in light of the religious setting of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF).

  “Magical thinking, exploitive idealization, and the devaluation of others via shame-dumping and belittling are all attempts on the part of the Narcissist to avoid feeling defective and insignificant.” We then explained the shame-dumping as religious shame-dumping and how this occurred in the WOFF setting. The next statement reflects on how the Narcissist characteristics affect the closest relationships for that person. “At best, these tactics create barriers to intimacy and acceptance. In a relationship with such a character, you will never know what it is like to be loved and appreciated for who you really are. At worst, the unending distortions will confuse you and wear away your self-esteem.” (page 10)

  Can anyone who has witnessed the constant belittling and badgering of Sam Whaley in WOFF church services by Jane, put forth an explanation that is any more accurate? The process Sam endured as he was molded by Jane into someone other than whom he really appears to be has been hard to watch and confusing to say the least. The apparent pleasure that Jane exhibited as she belittled Sam in front of us all was confusing as it did not seem like the love of God. Of course there was always a spiritual reason for the cuts and digs. Do any WOFF members remember it differently? Let me know. We move on.

Continue reading Religion Used as a Narcissist’s Tool of Control (3) – WOFF Arrogance? →

Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized, WOFF Updates

They Run and the Dogs Give Chase….

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    Recently, I heard sketchy details of an attempted escape by a young person from Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). My information is not first hand and I have not talked to the person who attempted the escape. What I know I have received in bits and pieces. All of it seems to coincide and agree with scenes I have heard of in the past while inside WOFF. So, I will tell what I know and give my take on the whole scene.

   Apparently, a young person left the service one recent Sunday morning and made her way to a local business very close to the intersection of Old Flynn and Oakland Road. She entered and asked them to call the Spindale Police. From what I can learn, this person was taken to the Police station and from here the information is unclear. They were allowed to call a relative who lived about two hours away to come pick them up. Before this relative could arrive, BC from WOFF made contact either by telephone or in person and convinced this person to stay one more day and talk to Jane Whaley in person, Jane was apparently out of town. This person “agreed” and as far as I know went back inside WOFF. The next day, Jane does not show and the meeting was postponed. From here the trail grows cold. As far as I know, the relative has not been able to help this person leave WOFF.  

    Why would I even take time to post on a situation where I do not know the entire set of facts and the outcome? It is for several reasons. One, I know this young person and spent time with them as they were in my daughter’s class. So, I have not spoken to them in a few years, but, feel confident their struggles would not be too different from other young folks inside WOFF. Second, as far as I know, this young person has no car, no job outside of WOFF at a company not owned by a church member and thus any real communication or resources other than those that are WOFF dominated and WOFF related. Honestly, many young folks inside WOFF don’t see this as an issue until they want leave the confines of the WOFF sub-culture. There they can feel stuck and helpless. But, there is more.

   Continue reading They Run and the Dogs Give Chase…. →

Books, Resources, Criteria for Cults, Thought Reform, Uncategorized

Religion Used as a Narcissist’s Tool of Control (2)

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   This is the second post from a book titled, “Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism” (Copyright©2002, 2003 by Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW, published by FREE PRESS, ISBN-13:978-0-7432-1428-5). The purpose of the book is to put in layman’s term the description of narcissism and also give the reader strategies to live with or around a narcissist. This book is filled with observations and insights that I believe help explain the plight of being a member of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). Why?  As mentioned previously, in my opinion, Jane Whaley, as the leader of WOFF, is a prime example of a narcissist who makes her living using religion to control others. For the most part, the author does not mention how religion or religious practices would enter into explaining the methods or “Sins” of a narcissist. However, I will attempt to expand on a few concepts Hotchkiss puts forth and explain them in light of the religious setting at WOFF.

   In the previous post, we covered the shamelessness of a Narcissist that actually is evidence of a very shame-sensitive person who has not learned to process and learn from any situation in life that brings shame for whatever reason. The author listed a few signs from a Narcissist which show they are attempting to direct their shame outward and away from Self.  These situations that brought the reactions may be a “minor incident or social slight”. There may be no real cause for shame or even regret.  We will now explore how this shame is pushed off or “dumped” on the WOFF members in the course of practicing their “religion”, and how it is used to mold behavior and intensify loyalty to Jane and her “gift”.

   Hotchkiss writes in Chapter 2 titled “Magical Thinking”, “THE NEED TO AVOID SHAME at all costs creates a continual dilemma for the Narcissist, as life has a way of regularly doling out humbling experiences that cannot be taken in stride. There is always someone who is better, brighter, more beautiful, more successful, (and) more anything-you-can-think-of. The fact that no one is perfect is of little comfort to Narcissists, however, because they see themselves as the exception to this natural law. Their challenge is to find a way to stay pumped up inside in order to hold these harsh realities at bay. The methods they typically employ involve a considerable amount of distortion and illusion, what psychologists call “magical thinking”.” (page 7)

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Books, Resources, Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized

Religion Used as a Narcissist’s Tool of Control (1)

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   Recently, I was given a book titled, “Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism” (Copyright©2002, 2003 by Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW, published by FREE PRESS, ISBN-13:978-0-7432-1428-5). The purpose of the book is to put in layman’s term the description of narcissism and also give the reader strategies to deal with and live with a narcissist. This book is filled with observations and insights that I believe help explain the plight of being a member of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). Why? In my opinion, Jane Whaley, as the leader of WOFF, is a prime example of a narcissist who makes her living using religion to control others. In the author’s explanation of narcissism, Hotchkiss makes only occasional references to religion other than in the title of the book. She does not mention how religion or religious practices would enter into explaining the methods of a narcissist. However, I will attempt to expand on a few concepts Hotchkiss puts forth and explain them in light of the religious setting at WOFF.

   First off, if you have been, or are now a member of WOFF and do not agree that Jane Whaley exhibits some characteristic of narcissism or even some minimal selfishness, then there is no use to continue reading; this post will only confuse you. However, if you wonder why the social dynamics which compose WOFF-life and thus life around Jane are so volatile or dramatic, then read on. See if these ideas help you understand why WOFF-life around Jane is less than peaceful at times, while at others, downright volcanic.

   Hotchkiss uses examples and personal scenarios meant to illustrate her observations and her points about the subject. For the most part, I will not repeat these examples in this post since none of them are in a religious setting and would not add to my theory. However, when possible, I will recount scenes from WOFF-life which demonstrate my theory and explanations. I have been considering the content of this post for several days. At this point, it seems in some ways so obvious, yet, so large that I hope I can convey the main points so others can understand them. I am not sure how many posts it will take to cover the insights from this book, but, let us begin….

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FLDS, FLDS vs WOFF, Uncategorized

Update- Warren Jeffs Sentenced and a Poem from George S. Patton, Jr.

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   In Texas, a jury of his peers sentenced Warren Jeffs to life plus 20 years for his crimes against women under his control. The trial lifted the skirt of the secretive religious cult and allowed the world a glimpse into the ways of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS). In this post, I have included a couple of quotes from the article listed below and will share some observations about why I believe the control used by Warren Jeffs is very similar or in many ways the same as what Jane Whaley used/uses at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF).    

Warren Jeffs sentenced to life plus 20 years in prison as picture emerges of 50 brides, bred to worship the polygamous ‘prophet’

By Paul Bentley  Last updated at 5:54 PM on 9th August 2011

Standing neatly side by side, 50 young girls pose as if for a school yearbook, their smiles every bit as uniform as their pastel outfits and tightly quiffed hairdos.

Their innocent enthusiasm is focussed on one goal alone – worshipping the man framed behind them, who has cruelly bred them for manipulation.

As a Texas jury sentenced Jeffs to life plus 20 years in prison for his crimes as their church leader, extraordinary pictures have emerged of the wives of the notorious polygamist, offering insight into the twisted world of subjugation with which he surrounded himself.

Brides of the Prophet
Brides of the Prophet

Jeffs, the 55-year-old self-proclaimed prophet and leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, was last week convicted of two counts of sexually assaulting a child – one 12 and one 14-year-old.

Today, after less than half an hour of deliberations, the jury at court in Texas sentenced him to the maximum possible time behind bars for his crimes.

Jeffs’s wives were both the victims of his abuse and the accomplices, subjected to a cruel world of worship and sexual abuse, while also proving their worth to their leader by holding down their peers while they were assaulted.…

Continue reading Update- Warren Jeffs Sentenced and a Poem from George S. Patton, Jr. →

Books, Resources, Criteria for Cults, Emotional Control, Thought Reform, Uncategorized

If WOFF is SO Safe, Then Why the Constant Drama?

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   During my years at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF), I never considered the group “unsafe”. Why? Well, at first glance, it appears to be a “Christian” church group that may take certain beliefs to an extreme application. For most of the beliefs, I went along and did not question. What about the constant drama scenes that occurred? How did that affect the morale or outlook of regular members? From my memory, during my time inside the group, I believed many of the explanations put forth to justify the drama of those inside the group and the major exit dramas of those who left or were put out. Many of the years while inside the group, I was not looking for a way out or alternative explanations for the nagging questions or very repetitive drama scenes.

   But, the drama scenes continued to occur and after a while even a very faithful WOFF member has to wonder – Why? So, what were some of the reasons put forth for the emotional upheavals and seemingly dramatic exits for what some considered as “faithful” WOFF members? Yes, I know we have discussed this here before on the blog, but, I have an additional point to make today.

WOFF is UNSAFE
Near the End of the Walk

   Continue reading If WOFF is SO Safe, Then Why the Constant Drama? →