Tag Archives: Leaving a Cult

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WOFF members: “…they were “hammered” by the “ministers”…

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The following post was submitted by Lee Buris. He tells his exit drama in this narrative. He has also sent a second narrative with insights reflecting life inside of this group. For survivors of WOFF and other controlling groups, I welcome your submissions for posting. As mentioned, I firmly believe writing out the experiences can help in the healing process. ______________________________________________________________________
Recently, I have became reunited with John’s website and sent him a short message to tell him how much I appreciate his piece on writing to sort through one’s thoughts; to come to terms with one’s self. Another description may simply be “doodling with words.”

Writing is a wonderful tool and a powerful tool. The founders of our political nation used writing extensively to persuade loyal British subjects to rebel against the Crown. I, myself, have employed writing since my early teenage years to help gain access to, and by gaining access to, understanding my inner emotions. Writing became a friend which helped me through tumultuous teenage years. Later in life I would sometimes enjoy writing to another friend (person) to use him or her as a sounding board to express myself, my thoughts, and my emotions. So, writing is not only a tool, not only a weapon, but also a friend.

There are so many places to begin, so many subjects to cover and so little time and space to write it in. And I know each word is critical to other people. I must ask God to help me choose carefully, as if my own family will be reading this. I will begin my story as such.
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From a WOFF survivor in response to “Who Joins? Who leaves?”

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The following narrative was submitted to me from Jon Smith. He originally intended for this to be a comment to the post “Who Joins, Who Leaves?” I asked permission to present it as a separate post and he agreed. He tells his story and exit drama in a straightforward manner while including a respectful tone for those who were not instigators of the intense emotional drama. Your comments are welcome.
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I appreciate this article, for it highlights that not everyone came to Word of Faith Fellowship for the same reason. I know people have very different backgrounds, events in their lives and just plain circumstances that have drawn them to WOFF. Although my association with Word of Faith was not nearly as lengthy as most of the current and former members of this group; I still feel like I was there long enough to get a good view of their practices and of the questionable things which became evident during my time there. So, I’d like to share what drew me to Word of Faith and what led me to leave this group of people.

My first introduction to Word of Faith was while serving in the Armed Forces and stationed at a base in Southeastern Georgia. I had been married a little over two years to my now ex-wife. Before the events that took place in Southeastern Georgia, I was stationed in Southeastern Connecticut and lived in the town of Norwich, CT. There my wife visited a church that was unlike any church she had ever encountered due to their strange method of praying which she described as “powerful.” I attended this church a time or two, but felt like the church was just a little too strange for my liking. My wife, however, continued to attend regularly until I was transferred to Southeast Georgia. Once settled in Georgia, my wife and I attended several churches until we found a non-denominational church that we both agreed on and attended fairly regular. My wife met a couple from that church who had recently attended a church seminar at a church in Western North Carolina. The husband of the family we met was from the town that this church was in and his mother attended the church and had convinced him to attend. From their description of this church and the “powerful” prayer they were doing there, it sounded familiar to the church my wife had attended in Norwich, CT. We found out later that it was. The church was Heart to Heart Ministries and led by Bobby Valentine, husband of Leigh Valentine who was/is closely associated with Word of Faith Fellowship. After the great things this family had to say about this church, they convinced my wife to travel with them to NC and attend the next seminar at the church. This church usually holds 4 or 5 seminars a year. My wife agreed and attended the seminar.
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Books, Resources, Uncategorized

Who Joins? Who Leaves?

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As I go through different information sources, there are several questions which are constantly in the back of my mind. A few have to deal with the process of recruitment into and exit out of a high-demand faith group. It would be unwise to assume that the path I took into such a group is the only way into these groups; or that there are only certain types of folks who join such groups. I am convinced of the fact that each group of this type uses a form of deception in order to recruit. In light of that, anyone can be recruited as anyone can be deceived within the right circumstances. That is how magic works. In many ways the deception used by high-demand faith groups is like a magic show. At least initially, the illusion is the primary focus, not the mechanics of how the illusion was set-up. Visitors to the group I was a part of – Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) had no idea how purposeful and practiced the created illusion had become. Any person who comes in contact with a magic show such as WOFF- could be fooled.

Aside from that aspect, are there any particular groups of folks that may be more susceptible to the illusion presented by control groups? Recently, I found two sources which were written about two different types of control groups which were suggesting the same answer to this question. It struck me as crucial and an important insight. After we review these sources, I will apply this understanding as a possible explanation to the recent trend I have heard about WOFF.

“Unholy Devotion – Why Cults Lure Christians” written by Harold L. Bissell (Copyright©1983 by The Zondervan Corp. ISBN 0-310-37251-8) is the first resource I will use. The author draws from his experience in counseling those who were drawn into religious cults. At the time he authored this book, he served as the Dean of Chapel at Gordon College.

In Chapter 2- “But You Can See the Love in Their Faces”- He warns about an over “emphasis on the subjective religious experience” can cause folks to “confuse Evangelicals with other “radical” religious groups who also exhibit changed lives, testimonies of joy, smiling face, and evangelistic zeal.” (page 19)
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Is WOFF an absolute religious monarchy?

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Recently, in a conversation with a friend, I told him that I had a fascination in watching historical depictions about the early struggles of our country. I told him the struggle for independence from Great Britain was similar in many respects to a Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) member deciding to leave the group. He said he could see the similarities. In an effort to explain life inside of WOFF, I will share my thoughts from my time and observation while inside.

Last night, I watched another installment of the HBO documentary series “John Adams.” The beginning of the mini-series shows the struggles of our country and the divisions which took place over the idea of independence from the mother country- England. The leaders first expressing such radical thoughts as making a Declaration of Independence were not always received with gladness. The American colonies were divided at times and there was much heated debate between many who would later end up with their names etched in our history books. England supposedly offered “protection.” The downside was the taxation without representation in Parliament as a cost for such “protection.” Yet, the King’s edicts were to be followed regardless. He spoke and those in his kingdom were to obey. Long live the King! And your personal opinions did not count and could cost you dearly, if they were contrary to the King.
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Behavior Control, Uncategorized

“Dishonesty is the result of perfectionism.” – Nori Muster

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After leaving the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA) conference held in early July, I have an increased desire to learn about dysfunctional groups, the results of being involved in such groups and how to heal from involvement in them. These desires have led to searching and more time spent reading. As sometimes happens when I am reading more than one book at a time, the ideas in each resource begin to cross-pollinate and relationships are noticed between the materials. As mentioned in the previous post, I am reading- “Rebuilding Shattered Lives: Treating Complex PTSD and Dissociative Disorders” by James A Chu, (Copyright©2011 by John Wiley and Sons, Inc. Hoboken, NJ ISBN- 978-0-470-76874-7). The author focuses on treatment models for adults who have experience abuse in their childhood.

At the same time, I have been reading – “Cult Survivors Handbook: How to live in the Material World Again” by Nori Muster. (Copyright©2010 by Nori Muster, published by Blurb.com, www.norimuster.com) Though I have not completely finished either book, I need to share the understanding that has come so far. [As a disclaimer, by quoting these works I do not assume any endorsement by either author of my conclusions or my work on this blog. ]

In this post, I will provide resources supporting the title and relate the findings to the high-demand faith group, Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF), which I departed in July of 2008. I will also quote from Chu’s work in describing the results of child abuse as seen in adults. My contention is that the perfectionism in WOFF has highly detrimental effects on its members and requires dishonesty on several levels in order to remain a faithful member.
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Behavior Control, Uncategorized

Adult Members Suffer “Child Abuse” at WOFF

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Many times the question comes up to me concerning how people can become a member in a group such as Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF)? In answering this question, I often reflect on my own path into the group. While considering that road, I must also admit not everyone joins following the path I did, nor does everyone become a “faithful” member in the same time frame as me. Though the dynamics of influence are the same for almost everyone to be connected or drawn into WOFF; each individual has different needs and may identify with different positive parts of the WOFF presentation in order to decide to join. Some may need a job or place to live, while others need financial help, child care or just new friends. Likewise, not everyone becomes emerged in the sub-culture to the same level on a set timeline. That being said, not everyone develops the same intense dependency on the leader, Jane Whaley; but, I would contend that every faithful member develops some degree of dependency and that level of dependency determines their evolving emotional state and how they respond to the punishment for breaking the unwritten rules.

Regardless of how difficult as it is for those on the outside to understand how an adult could become so dependent on another adult for very common basic decisions, it is the state that many faithful WOFF members find themselves in– daily. Just how that happens has been discussed in previous posts on this blog. For now, let’s acknowledge that it does and that it is a common occurrence in high-demand faith groups which use mind control techniques. We will use a few resources to confirm that fact.

“Cult members are expected to surrender autonomy, and often must ask permission for routine activities, like using the bathroom.” (Releasing the Bonds, Steven Hassan, Copyright©2000, Freedom of Mind Press)

As previously mentioned on this blog, WOFF controls many aspects of a member’s private time in the bathroom, especially the males.
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Books, Resources

Phoenix Project- Winds of Destruction…

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The Phoenix Project presentation was Thursday evening during the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA) conference earlier this month. Time and space was set aside for not only art work of different forms, but presentations by survivors of poetry, literary works, videos, songs, and classical piano. The time of presentation allowed survivors of high-demand groups to express to an understanding audience, the thoughts and emotions concerning their experiences. I wrote this piece before realizing it could be presented for consideration in the Project. After a couple of edits to cut down the length, I read the following narrative about a meeting held on the grounds of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) in 2008.
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Winds of Destruction….

Severe weather experts would record that during the first six months of 2008, “Tornadoes caused 111 deaths through the end of May, the second highest death toll for any year in the Doppler radar era…” ** Though I would live through those months unaware of the death and destruction caused by this severe weather pattern, the winds of destruction blowing in my life that spring would be an ironic reflection of the course of nature’s wrath.

April 9, 2008 was a Wednesday.

This day began as many other days. As a member of the Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) in Spindale, NC, living in shared housing with other church members was a normal and even an expected practice. We had moved into this household arrangement in October 2002. My wife, son, daughter and I shared a spacious five bedroom house on a cul-de-sac with another church family of three. There were two other church families living close by on our street- Carver Lane. My wife taught fourth grade in the church sponsored school where my children attended. My son was beginning his middle school years. This was my daughter’s senior year and graduation was scheduled for June 1st. Preparation had already begun for this event which was looked upon with much anticipation and excitement.
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