Tag Archives: Leaving a Cult

Books, Resources, Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized

Post- Cult Questions and Struggles (Video)

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When I first began this blog, it was so important to me to tell what had happened to me and my thoughts about those events. I started recording my memories as early as October of 2008. From those writings, my desire to start this blog was born. As I first started, it was such a relief to put into words my questions, emotions, feelings and concerns. Starting in January of 2010, I began on a regular basis to tell what had up until that point had only been shared in forums by other ex-members.  Eventually, I began to compare my experiences to insights and material in books written about other groups. Along the way, we have compared Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) to other groups and found WOFF to not be so unique. Jane Whaley may seemingly have a unique “gift”. But, in reality, her methods and means are not new, but are found in many other religious cults. She may have used different shellac on the outside, but what goes on behind the closed doors is as predictable as any other religious cult. The longer I am out, the more certain this observation becomes.

Previously, we have used this book, “Recovery From Cults” – Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse– Edited by Michael Langone- (copyright © 1993 American Family Foundation – ISBN 0-393-31321-2) as a resource. In previous posts; we have reviewed material written about and by Dr. Margaret Singer. Here is one of them:

Dr. Margaret Singer–Voice for the Cult Survivor – https://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=3789

Today, I will quote more from this resource and share some questions. In the last week of so, I have been talking to other survivors and reading this book. There are some insights which are found in the book that go right along with our discussions. Even though this book was published almost twenty years ago and uses some sources from the 1970’s; there is some important background information about cults as well as other material which is still valid.

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Books, Resources, Criteria for Cults, Thought Reform, Uncategorized

They Live in Darkness…

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Last weekend, I saw the movie titled: “Mao’s Last Dancer”. This film is based on a true story of a Chinese peasant boy who was chosen to learn ballet as part of China’s culture ministry. The film has been out since August 2010. From the director of “Driving Miss Daisy”, Bruce Beresford, and the producer of “Shine”, Jane Scott- the film is an inspirational story that I felt needed a review here on this blog. Some may object to the analogies and similarities that I will point out between the Chinese government and life in Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF), but before you dismiss them, please, see the movie. The lead actors are listed as Bruce Greenwood, Kyle Maclachlan, Joan Chen, Amanda Shull and Chi Cao. The rating is “PG”. (Source link for the trailer- http://www.maoslastdancermovie.com/ )

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Books, Resources, Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized

Religious Freedom or Abuse?

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On Monday, there will be oral arguments in front of the Supreme Court on a case involving Obamacare. Regardless of your position, these arguments and the ruling expected sometime in June should be of interest to all US citizens. Included in the debate is the requirement under the new law for religious institutions to provide contraception services to their employees. On Friday, there were rallies held across America protesting the mandate under this “new” law. In an article titled:

Contraception law sparks rally, debate      Insurance groups required to offer antifertility drugs

Here is a quote from that article telling about a rally held in Green Bay: “The event in downtown Green Bay at the Brown County Courthouse was held in solidarity with similar rallies on Friday in more than 200 cities across the nation, said organizer Cate Zeuske of Suamico. “This event is not about contraception. This event is about religious freedom,” she said.” (source link- http://www.greenbaypressgazette.com/article/20120324/GPG0101/203240624/Contraception-law-sparks-rally-debate?odyssey=nav%7Chead )

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Books, Resources, Criteria for Cults, WOFF Updates

Findings of Fact….

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During many years of the history of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF), there have been several drawn out custody battles in which church practices became a main focus. In 2000, there was the McGee custody battle, Ben McGee- plaintiff; in which an eleven page “Findings of Fact” was rendered on or about December 5, 2000 by Judge Randy Poole. The case was heard in Rutherford County General District Court – case #FILE NO. : 00 CVD 0686. Included in this ruling from the court were definitive statements about church practices and their danger to children. I will include a few here. After each one, I will offer my opinion about the “fact”. Remember, during this hearing, I lived in Greenville, SC and only attended special meetings. For certain, this material was shared on a “need to know” basis. Let me also point out that when/if some or all of these “facts” had been shared with regular WOFF members, there would have been major spin presented and a dare put out there to question or voice any agreement with the “facts”. Does that sound plausible? If you showed or expressed questions or doubts– that was your invitation for an open rebuke and/or church discipline.

16. There is a hierarchy of control and authority within the WOFF organization. Subordinate members are encouraged to report any perceived aberrant behaviors of other subordinate members to higher authorities within the organization.

This was such a common occurrence at WOFF, who would dispute the validity of this “fact”? We were all required to tell the sins of others or “that sin was in you!” and you were as guilty as if you had committed the act. Yes, this could be a reason it is hard for present and former members to trust – ANYONE.

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Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized, WOFF Updates

Additional Memories Leading to Exit Drama- Ben McGee

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The following material was provided by Ben McGee. He pulls back the curtain of self-protection and reveals his innermost concerns and thoughts leading up to the previously posted exit drama. Please, do not miss the transparency and the honesty with which he tells his story. These reflections should be a help to us all in managing our own host of memories- however painful they may be.

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The WOFFIA…

In order to set the time frame, let me say that these memories are from the period just two weeks before I was forced to leave.  I removed myself from the church, and would not attend regular services, but stayed in the church discipline room because I struggled with a conversation between Jane Whaley and myself.  The one statement that troubled me the most was when Jane stated that if I decided to move off church property- I would do so alone, as she began poking her finger into my chest.  I took this to mean that she was going to keep my family from me, if I attempted to move away from the church property. (I must ask- would Jesus make a threat like this?)

I struggled with this threat for some time. Pam was not present for this event.  I knew we could not afford to leave, but desired to do so and decided money or no money we were not going to stay trapped.  I wanted to discuss with my ex-wife how I felt but, she was alienated from me completely.  She would not listen to me and would go straight to the church leadership and tell them everything I had said which was a pattern already well established in our marriage.  This probably became extremely important for her after the confrontation with Jane.  I must confess I did likewise to her when she would get out of control and abusive in the past. I was afraid of her past use and abuse of drugs.

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Behavior Control, Uncategorized, WOFF Updates

Former WOFF Member Files Incident Report to Help His Friend

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In case there is any doubt, you don’t have to be a member of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) for very long to be affected in very intense ways. June 15, 2011, we shared an experience at a local restaurant in Rutherfordton. It was actually an ugly exchange prompted by a present WOFF member who I had known for nineteen years. After telling of that incident, I shared a few words about Tony Nicosia. The post was titled: Revealing Incident at the Great Wall– here is the link – https://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=4264 .

This is a brief review of a story that Tony can tell with amazing detail most every time he gets started. He and Carole Kolari came to this area in 2003 for Carole to be around her three sons who were at that point inside WOFF. She was allowed periodic visits with them in her off hours from her job. First, she and Tony lived in Kings Mountain and then in a condo near the Cleghorn Plantation golf course. Events transpired to cause two of the younger sons to move back to Chicago. Carole and Tony followed or vice versa. Anyway, in 2007, Tony and Carole found themselves back in the Chicago area.

April of 2010, Carole’s oldest son was to marry at WOFF. Carole was driven back to NC by a couple of WOFFers; their names escape me at this point. She made it back to WOFF in time to be in the wedding and this made her happy. Tony made some calls and asked to be moved back to this area in hopes to continue his friendship with Carole. An entourage from WOFF drove to Chicago to pack up and pick up Tony. Here is a quote from the previous post: “They showed up with a truck and packed most everything from the place where Tony lived. Tony was under the impression that these things would be taken back to NC for him and CK(Carole). Other things happened that weekend which are just too scary to retell here. Anyway, these things in the truck NEVER made it back to NC- according to Tony…The furniture, personal effects, insurance papers and jewelry that Tony says were his were never presented to him when he got to NC! He was put into an apartment arranged by CK’s (Carole’s) first husband and in it is furniture given to him by that first husband- GC, Sr. A bed, a chest, a sofa and some kitchen items were about the sum total of the furniture items I saw in Tony’s apartment. Where did all his stuff go?…But, for sure, Tony’s stuff is gone.”    Continue reading Former WOFF Member Files Incident Report to Help His Friend →

Behavior Control, Criteria for Cults, Emotional Control, Thought Reform, Uncategorized

Former WOFF Member Files Report of Assault

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Before I begin with the content of this post, let me acknowledge there will be some who disagree with my position to present this information in this forum. Some survivors of WOFF choose to “forgive and forget” and attempt to put everything that happened to them as far away from them as possible. That is a choice each is free to make, but, I don’t recommend it. Privacy prevents me from sharing the emails I receive on a regular basis from survivors of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) and other groups. Many of these emails contain regrets for waiting so long to process the events that happened to them in years of being involved in a controlling group. Trying to ignore the injuries, the injustices, the hurts, the confusion and the emotional trauma will not prove helpful in the long run. The emails I receive with these aches and hurts are from survivors who were in WOFF and relatives of those who are now or have been in WOFF. It is with that understanding that I proceed to share the ongoing story of a survivor of 21 years of involvement in WOFF.

In a previous post titled, “Another Exit Drama Unfolds …” found here: https://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=4782 . In that post, we did not name the survivor for various reasons. As of a few days ago, by his choice, his name was put into public record and therefore we will mention it here. Michael Lowry was born in 1990 in Rutherford County while his family was a part of WOFF. The family was from Michigan and have lived in the area every since his birth. He grew up in WOFF as his only social environment. In the previous post, we recounted his experiences in the “fourth building”. Those experiences had been traumatic to say the least and were a major part of his decision to leave his family and the only group of “friends” he had ever known. Today, we will give you excerpts from an incident report he filed with the Rutherford County Sheriff’s department outlining some of the events in the fourth building.

  Remember, this report is listed as “Further Investigation” needed. The people listed in this report are innocent until proven guilty.  No event or claim in this report has been proven in a court of law and no person in this report has been convicted of any crime(s). This is an incident report that is in public records that anyone can obtain a copy of from the Rutherford County Sheriff’s department.

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