Tag Archives: Leaving a Cult

Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized

What Was I Thinking?

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  There are moments of reflection after coming out of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). Okay, there are hours of reflection after coming out of that group. I was under the influence for about sixteen years. The story is one that many faithful readers of this blog have already heard. But, after a very long day, the hours slip away and the night runs away from me- so to speak. I get to asking myself “What was I thinking during those years in WOFF?” If you are on the outside looking in you might be wondering what do members of WOFF think about and how do they reason away many of the obviously strange or un-normal characteristics of life inside WOFF?

   That is a fair question to ask. After all how many other churches in Western North Carolina practice communal living? How many other churches have a closed culture and only allow church members to attend their “Christian” school? There may be a few. How many other churches in North Carolina have been investigated by the State Bureau of Investigation (SBI)? How many churches get an undercover member to film their services and broadcast them over national television? How many other churches in North Carolina or in the Southern United States practice load prayer, blasting and deliverance from demons? Are there other churches in America that have such a control over their members that they tell them how to dress, where to live, where to work, where to go to college, who to have relationships with and who to marry? Do other churches forbid their members from accessing newspapers, television, magazines, “unauthorized” books and literature? Do others churches instruct the husbands and wives on the approved birth control method and approved sexual technique- in detail? If there are deviations from the set and ordered life within the kitchen, living room, bathroom or bedroom; do other churches require the family members to report these “sins” to church leadership and bring all to church for “correction”? If there are other churches that practice this kind of control over their members- do you want to join that church? Does your church already “flow” this way?

    So, after learning about life inside WOFF, it would be a natural question to ask- What do the members think of all these controls and how do they rationalize and tell themselves that all of this is acceptable and necessary in order to please God? I can only answer from my experience. There is no way to know for sure what other members were/are thinking. We can only observe how they act and what they say. But, as hard as Jane Whaley would try, she cannot absolutely control what her faithful members think ALL the time. Yes, there was/is strong mind control measures used at WOFF. But, as it is evident from the fact that some folks do leave; Jane Whaley cannot stop people from thinking their own thoughts ALL of the time. At some point, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem WOFF members can have a thought of their own. It may shock them, it may scare them, and it may cause them to think they are going to hell. That is how they are conditioned. “Stray thoughts” are labeled as the devils thoughts coming into you – the faithful WOFF member.

   Continue reading What Was I Thinking? →

Behavior Control, Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized

But, They Were Preaching the Gospel…

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   Have you ever been in a meeting, whether it is a business meeting or civic meeting or some other type of meeting and the speaker begins to “share the gospel”? You know some type of message which includes the message normally heard in a church service. I am not speaking about a generic prayer for wisdom or guidance but, some verbal link made between the purpose of the group and a Christian message. How did you react or respond – if at all? Was it confusing? Did it cloud or make at least a little hazy the purpose of the meeting or the group? If you were informed or knew of this ahead of time before the meeting began – that is a total different matter. But, if it was planned and you were not told, that is what I am talking about.

   Many years ago, I was a part of a business group which had morphed into a quasi-religious group. The stated purpose of the group was the business of selling consumer products. After you became interested in that and began to attend seminars and “retreats”; another side of the group became evident. Don’t get me wrong, there were very sweet and sincere people in the group. There were many folks who genuinely wanted to “succeed”. The operational methods of the group were revealed in stages. You were not told the entire scope when you first attended a meeting. I suppose the leaders wanted to see how committed you would become before they unloaded the whole deal on you. Maybe they wanted to see how comfortable you were with what you were being shown before you were informed of the next step.

   I came in contact with the group through a shift supervisor at the cafeteria where I worked while attending college. He was a likeable fellow named Dennis Farmer. He had a very interesting background which included being a Formula 1 race car driver in Europe. He would tell stories and catch the attention of many of my co-workers and friends. Every once in a while he would say something odd about making big money – but, not in racing. One day I started asking more questions and he began to tell me the Amway story. As best as I can remember, that was late in 1980. Well, it didn’t take long before I had decided that selling soap and vitamins and whatever else was a great part-time job. It began to garner more and more of my attention and well, you may already know the story. I attended meetings in the evenings during the week and began attending seminars on the weekends once every few months.

   Continue reading But, They Were Preaching the Gospel… →

Books, Resources, Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized

Has Anybody Seen My Ladder?

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  On the way to church this morning I was listening to the radio. Yes, I know that is dangerous and unacceptable in some circles. But, after leaving Word of Faith fellowship (WOFF), I eased back into the evil habit after several months of being out. When I first left WOFF, it was hard to break from the rules and rules and more rules that I lived under while in WOFF. Yes, we have gone over that before and yes, there are some rules that change and some have been added since I left in July of 2008. As I talk to other survivors of WOFF, I learn that others also find some rules of WOFF will continue with them after leaving the group.

   The pastor speaking on the radio was reviewing three parables from the Gospels. I will not attempt to re-preach the message, but, I did hear some interesting analogies. The minister was speaking about how Jesus treated the Pharisees. Jesus warned them about all the man-made rules and not to trust in them for salvation. That is what caught my attention. The analogy was used that for some folks, their “rules” become their “ladder” to climb and elevate them “closer to God” and over and above other Christians or other folks not in the church. The picture became quite clear for me as I have been on that kind of ladder in the past. The ladder climbing time at WOFF seemed logical, since keeping all of the rules was required for continued membership. In that group, obeying the rules and ultimately Jane helps you climb the ladder and move up the pyramidal structure.

   Can you relate to the word picture? As the focus shifts from following Jesus to following His followers or one main “follower”; it is easy to take those steps up the ladder and you submit to more and more outward rules and requirements thinking that keeping those requirements equates to serving God. It is a trap that many fall into even if you are not in WOFF. But, the deception when you are on such a ladder is to deny you are on the ladder. In your thinking, you are just “walking in a higher place in God” or “finding your place in God” or “walking in a higher place in the spirit”. I have heard it called many things while at WOFF. But, the actual results included a pride or feeling of superiority that came since you were submitted and could keep most all the rules and rarely if ever got correction. If you have ever been in the sound booth at WOFF, keeping the rules puts you that high or higher over other WOFFers or outsiders – for sure. After all, others just don’t walk in the place “we” do at WOFF. I heard it said and felt its effects during my time there.

Continue reading Has Anybody Seen My Ladder? →

Books, Resources, Criteria for Cults, Thought Reform, Uncategorized

WOFF Members are NOT Brainwashed- Really? (2)

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   During a review of recent posts, I found the first post in this series had been inadvertently moved to the trash. I have no idea how that happened. But, the original post was rescued and restored to its place on this blog. Now we will continue with the review of the resource material found in Steven Hassan’s book, “Combatting Cult Mind Control” (Copyright©1988, 1990- by Steven Hassan, Park Street Press, ISBN-0-89281-311-3). We were reviewing material found in Chapter 4 titled:  Understanding Mind Control.

   Hassan writes, “When I lecture in colleges, I usually challenge my audience with the question, “How would you know if you were under mind control?” After some reflection, most people will realize that if one were under mind control, it would be impossible to determine it without some help from others. In addition, one would need to understand very clearly what mind control is.” (page 53) From the previous posts I wrote, “WOFF members do not believe for one second that they are under either brainwashing or mind control! I know since I did not have any idea that the “gift” that Jane operated in was full of mind control techniques.” In light of this acquired disbelief, it does little good to tell WOFF members they have been brainwashed or are under mind control. Hassan writes, “Whenever people yelled at me and called me a “brainwashed robot”, I just took it was expected persecution. It made me feel more committed to the group.” (page 53)  

   We also reviewed the basic difference between brainwashing and mind control: “Brainwashing is typically coercive. The person knows from the outset that he is in the hands of the enemy. It begins with a clear demarcation of the respective roles—who is the prisoner and who is the jailer—and the prisoner experiences the absolute minimum of choice…” (page 55).

   “Mind control, also called “thought reform,” is much more subtle and sophisticated. Its perpetrators are regarded as friends or peers, so the person (being influenced) is much less defensive… Mind control has little to no overt physical abuse… The individual is deceived and manipulated – not directly threatened – into making prescribed choices. On the whole, he responds positively to what is done to him.” (page 56)

  Continue reading WOFF Members are NOT Brainwashed- Really? (2) →

Books, Resources, Uncategorized

What is Your “JPI”?

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  Last year in August, I wrote a post titled, “How Are You Doing?” (link- https://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=3090 ) The subject of the post was prompted after watching “Tsunami” The Aftermath, an HBO Films® 2 DVD set which was produced in 2007. This was a dramatization taken from accounts of survivors and observers from the aftermath, drawing from the rescues and the clean-up process from the tsunami in the Indian Ocean on December 26, 2004. I drew several analogies from the film to my time at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) and the results afterward.

   From the post, “When a simple question of concern “How are you doing?”; prompted such an intense emotional reply from Ian Carter (main character in the movie) , I remembered the first few months when I left Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) I remembered to feelings of being “lost” and without direction. After 16 years, my life had been deeply shaped by Jane Whaley and her teachings.  For many years, I had been taught directly and by inference that those who left WOFF were out of the will of God, attackers, Judases and headed to hell. At times, I felt that I had been pushed out. And I was put out of the church. At other times, I knew I had left to keep what little sanity I had left in July of 2008. The shunning from those around me had put such a sense of hopeless, helpless, defeating anguish on me that leaving, to me, though tearing me up on one hand, was the only course I saw in order to regain some sense of stability. When I reread the emails I sent during those weeks between June 5, 2008 and the month of July 2008, it has been clear to me the anguish I experienced in considering leaving WOFF and those I loved. The anguish was real and still is very real.”

  During this past year, my wife filed for and was granted a divorce in May. Many would have considered that the final result of what I termed the “WOFF-tsunami”, but, it has not been so. Last year, I referenced “the aching numbness that chases sleep away as you seek relief from the deep resounding pains of regret in the heart. Yet, can words fitly describe it?” The numbness has subsided to a small degree. But, it roars load at times when I consider the destruction that has come upon my family. My family, still in WOFF, acts on what they have seen and heard others do at WOFF; they treat the one who has left and survived the tsunami as the one who is now dead. That is all part of the twisted wreckage that WOFF brings into the lives of many.

   Continue reading What is Your “JPI”? →

Books, Resources, Information control, Uncategorized, WOFF Website

We Are Willing to Work with You – Maybe

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   Recently, I received a copy of a letter written many years ago to a couple outside of North Carolina and signed by Jane Whaley as “Superintendent of Word of Faith Christian School”. I am including a redacted copy in this post as evidence to my point. The identity of the recipients and the former Word of Faith Christian School (WFCS) students are not critical to this post. The text of the letter is my purpose. The date of the letter is September 7, 1994. John, why even use this letter? As we go through the letter, that will become more obvious.

   My first meeting at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) was in May of 1992. Honestly, as a commuter from the Greenville church, much of what went on at WOFF did not get relayed to us. We attended meetings when everyone was on their best behavior- if that was possible. As the months and years passed, many of the quirks and family secrets of WOFF were played out before the Greenville members. We were exhorted to be like “family” and encouraged to participate as much as possible during the times we were there. All that being said; as “regular members”, we did not see certain events which played out behind Jane’s closed doors. Also, I must admit I did not and do not know the former members referenced in the letter.

   To see letter click here:   Letter from Jane Whaley  (you may need to use the back arrow in your browser to retun to this post)

   The scenario is common at WFCS. Not every student stays “submitted” and totally enthralled with Jane, KR, JC or the other teachers at the school. Students do leave before they finish. Has there ever been a student or family that left without some drama- either immediate or delayed? If there was, I never knew it. When ANYONE leaves WOFF, there were/are emotions and some sort of drama to “walk through”. Okay, if a person leaves at all, that is an accomplishment.

   Continue reading We Are Willing to Work with You – Maybe →

Books, Resources, Criteria for Cults, Thought Reform, Uncategorized

Maybe It’s Just Me….

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   So many thoughts and reflections during this day, I really don’t know where to start. During many days I have come across short scenes or incidents that remind of my past days and the many lost relationships. For instance, there are some songs that I just can’t listen to on the radio. That does not mean the songs are evil, it just means they remind me of treasures lost; previous times in a foggy memory somewhere back there. When hearing the song, the memories come forward from the cloudy past and shout at me. Does that make sense?

   Tonight, while driving home, I happened upon a radio station where a well known preacher was explaining his point from a Scripture. At this moment, it does not matter the Scripture or the point he was trying to make. Just realizing that I was listening to a preacher on the radio expounding on some Scripture reminded me first of what a forbidden sin that was at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). Listening to the radio in your car was evil- period. Even worse was listening to another religious speaker from outside WOFF!  RL was castigated and threatened with church discipline or worse for this suspected sin, plus, the fact that his wife found a newspaper under the front seat of his truck! He tried to explain he was “just reading the sports scores”. That sent Jane Whaley into another orbit as her volume elevated to paint -peeling heights! Several jumped as she screamed some of her trademarked announcements meant to bring fear upon us all. And here I was partaking of just such a “sin”.

   It was there that I began to ponder the emotional destruction and traumatizing dangers of being in a religious cult. For those that read this blog regularly, you know my experience has been with Word of Faith Fellowship. Though I have read of others and have documented the obvious similarities between WOFF and other cults, my “expertise” stems from my hands-on, up-close, inside day to day observations of Jane Whaley, her leadership, and the other regular members. I was never considered “inside the leadership circle” but, no matter, my perspective is still valid and reflective of life as a “regular member”. For those that attempt to still excuse the WOFF environment as “safe”, I only ask you to read other posts found here; other informative websites on religious cults and the many accounts of other previous members. Can every former member of WOFF be “of the devil”, God-haters, traitors, a “Judas” or lying?

   For me, the whole bank of memories from that time serves as a reminder that “No one joins a cult…” That which seemed good, turned out to be not good. Those who were set-up to represent God  and God’s ways in my life- turned out to be repeating what they had been taught as “God’s ways” and in my efforts to “believe the best about every person”; I give many of them a pass as cogs in the machine of Jane’s controlling, legalistic, self-serving, matriarchal, pyramidal religious structure. I have seen and heard other former members of WOFF speak and share their own individual memories, traumas and losses. Over time, it grows less sensational, but, none the less heartbreaking and sad.

Continue reading Maybe It’s Just Me…. →