Tag Archives: shunning

Criteria for Cults, Thought Reform, Uncategorized

Salvation Critical Issues

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A recent conversation with a person who has never been a member of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) revealed something to me that helped me understand the quandary for many outsiders. After asking several questions and trying to understand the dynamics of life inside WOFF, this person said, “You know, I don’t think about my salvation constantly. I am not worried if I am going to hell over every single thing I do…” I was shocked at the statement, but suddenly I could see the problem and at least some of the answer. Let me explain.

First, the fact that I was shocked showed me I was still at least in the shadows of WOFF thinking. Why? Inside WOFF, for faithful members, the life is saturated with “salvation critical issues”. What do I mean? Everything at WOFF – every behavior, every attitude, every decision, every thought, every purchase, and every choice of a garment, every relationship, and every facial expression – can be and is subject to being scrutinized to see if you are saved, born again and submitted to the will of God. This may seem strange and should to those outside the WOFF sub-culture. So much revolves around this one aspect that is may be difficult to fully explain the vital role that this has in the control environment of WOFF, but, I will make an attempt.

We have chronicled many of these issues here on this blog in previous posts. Your walk with God and eventual salvation could and would be judged for how you talked, how you walked, how you dressed, how you drove, how you handled your cell phone, how you left a bathroom, who you wanted to be friends with wither inside or outside the group, where you wanted to work, what classes you wanted to take in school… The list can be endless as new situations would arise and you would be judged in that new situation as to whether you were “hearing God” or were “under authority” or were “lawless” or “giving over to your sin” or “giving place to the devils in you” or risk being “put out of the church and the MOVE of GOD”… All of these phrases were meant to instill fear over your eternal destination while relating to common occurrences such as how you cleaned your house or folded your clothes or if you cleaned your deck, or whatever Jane decided to use for her purposes. All of this would be covered in the phrase- you need to walk, talk and act “like a minister of God…”

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Behavior Control, Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized

“Honor Shunning” at WOFF?

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“Honor Shunning” at WOFF?

    No doubt, the most common subject of emails that I receive is about the division in families where one or more member has gone in to Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) and others have not. The details may change, but the main points of grief and bewilderment remain constant. It is a fact, joining WOFF causes divisions. Yes, I know I have been inside and seen the division that caused my immediate family. And now, outside, I am feeling the division in a very personal way.

    With all this in my mind, I began reading and listening to news reports of “honor killings” in some places in the United States. Before I continue, let me say, I have not read extensively on the subject and do not intend to be an expert. I will just repeat what little bit I know and how it relates to the subject as it develops. In certain cultures, parents have considered themselves “honor bound” to take the life of a daughter who may have become too Westernized or expressed desires to marry outside of the culture. In order to preserve the purity of the culture, the parents have extinguished the life of the one bringing dishonor to their name and way of life. Thus the term “honor killing”.  There is even debate as to whether or not this has occurred in America.

   All that being said; I can attest with rock solid assurance, that members of WOFF practice “honor shunning” with fervent regularity. The practice begins from within the group as members who may be questioning authority or “in rebellion” are separated into the “discipleship” room. Others are expected to not talk to them or fellowship with them as “God is dealing with their heart”.  If the member repents to Jane Whaley then they are restored and allowed “back into fellowship”. As long as the punishable offense is not repeated, they can be around others. I practiced the shunning of others on church discipline while at WOFF. It is the thing to do unless you want to end up being in the same boat. Those who do not shun will be shunned until they either agree to “walk in God’s ways” or leave… You could/should say this practice is a mainstay at WOFF.

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Behavior Control, Uncategorized

Grace to Shun and Ignore

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The Parable of the Good Samaritan

30Jesus, [f]taking him up, replied, A certain man was going from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him of his clothes and belongings and beat him and went their way, [[g]unconcernedly] leaving him half dead, as it happened. 31Now by [h]coincidence a certain priest was going down along that road, and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. 32A Levite likewise came down to the place and saw him, and passed by on the other side [of the road]. 33But a certain Samaritan, as he traveled along, came down to where he was; and when he saw him, he was moved with pity and sympathy [for him], 34And went to him and dressed his wounds, pouring on [them] oil and wine. Then he set him on his own beast and brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35And the next day he took out two denarii [two day’s wages] and gave [them] to the innkeeper, saying, Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, I [myself] will repay you when I return. 36Which of these three do you think proved himself a neighbor to him who fell among the robbers? 37He answered, The one who showed pity and mercy to him. And Jesus said to him, Go and do likewise. (Luke 10:29-37, Amplified Version, emphasis added)

    Recently, a review of the parable of the Good Samaritan revealed new insight for me. I read about the priest and the Levite who shunned and ignored the man in need, AFTER SEEING him. Unlike possible circumstances today, it was not as if there were already medics at the scene, caring for the man who was beaten. The inference is that the man, who had been beaten, was in a very helpless desperate state. The priest and the Levite represented the religious order of the day. What kept them from taking time to help? For sure, in this example, their religious position did not lend itself to stoop down and help one in need.

     After reading the parable, I was reminded of things I had done while a member of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). When a member was put “in discipleship”, other members were expected to withhold fellowship and restrict speaking to that member. You may have been able to say “hello”, at times, but no “foolish or loose talk”. I can remember a few times, I went and asked a person in leadership, if I could talk to the person in discipleship. The reason given to not speak or fellowship was so you would not “pull them out of the dealings of God”. For new folks or members who were unaware, it was the first steps to teaching the “grace to shun and ignore”. If you wanted to continue as a part of WOFF, you learned this “grace” or things did not go well. This “grace” was the “law” at WOFF.

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Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized

What is “Shunning”?

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What is “shunning”? 

 shun – to keep away from; avoid scrupulously or consistently.
(Webster’s New World Dictionary)

– to keep clear of; avoid. (Funk and Wagnalls Standard Desk Dictionary)

Flora Jessop in CHURCH OF LIES  (see previous post..)  tells about her experience with “shunning”…

When she returned from running away with her friend, she expected to be shunned. (page 65) She defined shunning according to FLDS beliefs as “all love and affection is withheld”.. In her mind, she deserved it. But, her mother just put her arms around her and loved her. Her Dad on the other hand, reacted differently.

Later in the book, Flora describes being shunned for 2 years as she was confined to her room. She had no contact with her Mom or Dad. That was her reward for running away. She would work all day and then be confined to her room. On page 83, she describes the emotional toll the shunning was taking on her. Though my time of being shunned was not that severe, I could relate very much to the emotional toll that shunning and isolation had on her.

Why would Flora “expect” to be shunned? Could it be she had seen others be shunned and had actually shunned those “worthy” of being shunned? Yes, from personal experience, I would say that shunning was no secret to her. She had broken the rules of the sect. She knew how others had been treated when rules were broken. 

My experience in a strong controlling group mirrors Flora’s in many respects. During my time at Word of Faith Fellowship; I had seen others shunned and even participated in shunning. Once a person is put on “church discipline” or “put out of the church”; you didn’t speak to them unless you had permission from authority. This was shunning. I have seen folks go for weeks without contact or conversation with family or friends. This was supposed to “help them repent” and come “back under authority”. One fellow was quarantined for months. He spoke only to one person. He read only his Bible. He had meals brought to him. At times, his friends would take food to him when leadership would forget to feed him.  He stayed in a make shift bedroom at a large metal warehouse/office building. He was brought into the church and allowed to watch the services on a closed circuit television.

Starting in April until July of  2008, I was the subject of shunning. My family and other members of the household did not talk to me or eat with me. Hugs would become off limit and “no chatty conversation”. My wife would talk to me, but only to make her point that I needed to repent and “come back to God”. It was during this time, that I found out what lack of love and contact from those you loved could do to a person. What was even more stark and shocking was that the ones around me seemed to consider this behavior of shunning as normal and acceptable. Even if they had not believed it in their heart, they were pressured to go along with the shunning because that was the prescribed treatment for those like me. I was not following the admonitions of those in “leadership”. In order for them to keep in good standing, they had to shun me or risk being accused of “giving to the same devils” that were in me.

 In July of 2008, I left the controlling group- Word of Faith Fellowship. My family stayed. On June 6, 2008, I had been “put out of the church” and the shunning had gone to a new level. Since that time, contact with my family has been limited. In many regards, I am still being shunned.  

As Flora Jessop recounts in her book (pg 271), that she tried to contact her family once she had left the group. One account tells of a sister refusing to speak civil to her in a parking lot of a grocery store. Flora encouraged her to “..go back and read her books. I guarantee you, God doesn’t say, “Throw your family away like trash.”. (because they believe differently..)  The conversation was all to familiar. The practice of shunning is a common trait of many cult groups.

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