Recently, I have had several conversations with a survivor of another group. The similarities between the control measures used in Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) and the survivor’s former group have been nothing short of amazing and sad. It is regretful that the results have been eerily the same. During one conversation, this survivor said there “stolen intimacy” as a result of the control measures of the leader of that group. This person had lost their family relationships over their discontinued church membership. Yes, really- it was the same as many cases from WOFF. As I listened and began to understand their situation, I realized it was not so much “stolen intimacy” but rejected intimacy. Let me explain.

   During my time at WOFF, it was an acceptable and actually a required practice to be denied contact with members that had left WOFF. As warm-up for that practice, when a member was on “church discipline” or in church discipleship, you were expected to allow God to deal with their heart and not talk to or “fellowship” with them. Certain ones in leadership or a spouse may be able to talk to them and allow that person to “open their heart” and share where “God was dealing with them”. All of these phrases were code talk within WOFF and after a short period of time, you began to get the meaning and became aware of the penalties for crossing the boundaries or breaking the unwritten rules. You may cross the line once- but, you would soon be told how to act toward those on church discipline.  

   What “sin” could have you put on church discipline? Whatever violation Jane thought was too severe to allow you to “walk among God’s people”. The “sin” could be one you were warned about before or a new one you were totally unaware of as being “sin”. If you were “listening to the spirit of God” and in tune with Him – you would know what actions or thoughts were sin and what were not “sin”… Really? This seemed so spiritual when you were in WOFF. I believed and acted upon that notion for a long time while inside WOFF. It seemed perfectly justifiable to me within the confines or parameters of the sub-culture we lived in.  Now, I see it as a power play from Jane and the leadership to keep the regular members always unsure and fearful to do ANYTHING without “checking things out with leadership” to “see if they were hearing God”. Can you say – dysfunctional grace? Since the rules were unwritten and the code of conduct at times so elusive, then it allowed Jane her own interpretation and ability to make the rules what she wanted them to be at any given moment. If she decided to change things, then we were walking in a higher place in God (while still being “so full of sin it made her sick!”)and/or “God was trusting us more” or the individuals had heard God for that situation, but it was not certain everyone else would have that liberty.

  Continue reading Do You Believe in Magic? →

    We continue with the theme of losses associated with being a part of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF).  Who has not seen the commercials advertising the show The Biggest Loser®? I have never seen the show, but, from what I understand it is about people losing weight. Here is a link to their website. http://www.nbc.com/the-biggest-loser/ . Yes, it is a simple concept.

   In the WOFF reality, who would be considered to have the most losses or the biggest loser? Let’s consider this from several angles. In the last post, we mentioned the losses of those inside the group. We will not go over them, but, a reader pointed out something very true.

   For those inside WOFF, “the biggest loss of all is losing the individual person God intended all of us to be. You cannot conform to all their rules and regulations and not lose sight of who you really are.” Thank you for pointing that out. Under the legalism, there are many losses. Who would deny that? Under that system of works and performance, there is no option but to set your true-self aside and conform or out the door you go… That new “WOFF-self” is subject to the whims, wishes and angry shouts of Jane Whaley. All of the pressures to surrender and become who Jane directs are clothed in the religious mantra of the day. That pressure could be brought with any number of phrases and clichés.  Here is a list to choose from- If you don’t submit, you will end up “losing your place in God”; by making that choice you are “denying the call of God on your life”. Then there is the one used on us all as a congregation, “When you saw that sin (put most anything here.) Why were you not convicted? I (the minister speaking) was convicted immediately when I heard about it. Where have you cut God off? What sin are you hiding?” At times, the pressure to submit to group-think was so blatant and obvious. The phrase could be something like- “Why would God lead you away from what he is showing his ministers?” Even the pressures to deny your personal time with God were/are great. Being alone with God was not promoted. Why? It was taught: because you may “give over to a religious spirit”.

  Continue reading Who is The Biggest Loser? →

   Over the last few weeks, I have noticed something very peculiar. It may have been going on for a long time and just recently came to my attention. During the normal course of living, I run into people I have never met before and we inevitably strike up conversations about our individual lives. Sometimes, I purposely leave out parts of my past and as far as I can tell, this is done with no set criteria. Some days, I just don’t feel like talking about being a former cult member. On days that is seems relevant and I do talk about it, I generally give the short version. Why? Well, I have learned over time that very few people outside of Rutherford County have any interest in hearing it and many cannot relate to the experience. I suspect the non-interest comes for any number of reasons. Any one of which could range from disbelief to negative experiences of their own that have never been sorted out or processed.

    After giving a very brief summary of the last few years, I have noticed that several folks have responded with, “I am sorry for your loss…” Now, when I first heard that response I didn’t think much of it. I suspected the individual was just truly searching for something compassionate to say while not openly inviting further discussion, if I was not comfortable with the subject. You know, as one may respond to the news of another person having lost a loved one or dear friend to death or divorce. Maybe that is it. See, I have lost close family members to a death of sorts and certainly to a divorce. And yes, it makes sense that a person realizing my loss, would respond, “I am sorry for your loss…”

    The results have been discussed here before. After being under the influence of the teachings and practices of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) for 16 years, I left the group in July of 2008. That was after Jane Whaley put me out of the group after she was told by Liisa Bryson about a discussion we had. So, which was it? Was I put out or did I leave? I was put out of the church and banned from church property June of 2008, and then I left the WOFF household I had lived in since October of 2002. Regardless of the technical terms of the separation from WOFF, the net effect was the same as many others who count themselves as former members. My family stayed in and the death of our relationships progressed similar to the dying or dead relationships of others who left family members behind.

  Continue reading I am sorry for your loss… →