Behavior Control, Uncategorized

Jane Whaley Calls Senior High School Girls – “Homely”

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     The subject of this post is sad but, very true. The events clearly indicate the pure narcissistic obsession of Jane Whaley and her daughter with appearance. Just a few months after my departure from WOFF, I wrote my remembrances of this service and the happenings afterwards. Actually, I wrote pages and pages of notes about my experiences. All of it was done not knowing at the time that those writings would be the basis for such posts as this one.

     In May of 2008, in a Sunday evening service that was “practice” for the graduation; the senior girls were up on stage. There were twelve girls in the graduating class.  Jane cleared her throat, conferred with her daughter and proceeded to call the whole class of young girls-  “homely”. There were many in the congregation who proceeded to snicker. Then Jane proceeded to tell them that they all needed “help”. Her daughter then chimed in “They all look like they are from “COG”.  Think of this; high school girls getting ready to graduate and being told by the principal of the school, the Apostle of the church, the supreme leader who had all of the power for everything AND her daughter – that they were all “homely”. Was this the love of God that Jane and others had preached for years at WOFF? You decide. Here is a definition of homely:  Not attractive or good-looking: a homely child.

     Well, it was not a surprise that things would change quickly for this group after that meeting. Up until that Sunday meeting; it was a practice at WOFF that girls under 18 years old did not have their ears pierced or use colored nail polish. Also, eye-liner was reserved for those over 18. Under the age of 18, they were allowed to use foundation, light blush, lipstick of certain colors, clear nail polish, but no eye color. (Yes, these restrictions were not listed on the “Welcome to WOFF “do’s” and “don’t” list.)  In the next few days,  teased-up hair, french tips and pierced ears were the order of business.  Things changed in order to chase away the “homely” look or “COG” look. The excitement to please Jane was at times surreal. What standard was shown to these young ladies as the goal?

     The second part of that Sunday evening service included another teacher and leader of the school;  one of the principals of the school –  berating the parents for letting their girls leave the house in such a “homely” condition. “You don’t love you daughter if you let her walk around homely.” Most every parent of those twelve girls was in the second meeting.  I don’t remember warm fuzzy “love of God feelings” as I left that night.

     The graduation pictures showed the results. Yes, “homely” had been run out the door, but at what cost? Jane Whaley’s priorities were crystal clear at this meeting. After all, Jane Whaley said herself that, “If my clothes were laid out flat side by side, they would cover two city blocks”.  This Sunday meeting, the results afterward and Jane’s ongoing comments about her dresses, shoes and clothes speak volumns. I do not have to add to them.

     Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life. There are readers at WOFF. I hope this is a help to them. Sometimes WOFF members could forget such meetings as this one.

     Look on the right side of any post for the option to subscribe by email for notifications or RSS feeds notifying of new postings. It is a great feature. Also, find more posts by selecting “Categories”.

      (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. ) Here is a picture of hope…

New rays of hope
Spring will come- soon.
Criteria for Cults, Uncategorized

Lunch Meeting Produces Insight

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     Recently, a lunch meeting with a couple of new friends produced some very interesting information. There were three of us eating at a local restaurant. One fellow holds a management job at a local company. I had spent time with him, previously. The other fellow is preparing to go overseas with his family as a missionary. He and I had never met. There were the introductions and we began to find out about each other. As questions and answers began to come; the fellow preparing for the mission field mentioned he had come out a legalistic church. I did not miss the door and made mention I had experience like that, also. From there the conversation took off.

     The newest friend was a survivor of the Worldwide Church of God. He was a local fellow that had grown up in the county. He and his wife had attended the church-sponsored college and left the group in 1995. Though he had grown up in the county just north of Rutherford county, he was unaware of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) and Jane or Sam Whaley. We discussed some of the reasons he may not know of them.  I began to explain a brief history of WOFF. WOFF started in 1979(?), but being so involved in his world may not have allowed him to find out about other groups. Plus, many members of WOFF are from out of the area. As a percentage, most WOFF members are not “home grown”.

     Here is where the fellow that works in management said he had spoken recently to a friend that had left WOFF in the late 80’s. Much of what that WOFF survivor remembered was the “blasting” and loud prayer. (that is another post in the making..)

     The survivor of the Worldwide Church of God (WCG) mentioned that “Inside Edition” had come and researched their group. That had happened to WOFF, also. It sounded like around the same time period. He mentioned that the State of California had come into the group and put them in receivership to investigate mis-handling of funds. Later, the State had to admit they had crossed the legal boundary even though there were wrong-doings in the group. The WCG survived for a time. The son of the leader took over. His personal desires for money, liquor and wrong sexual relationships did not reflect well on the church. Eventually, according to the survivor, “The hand of God came down and splintered the group into over 300 groups. Before that, they had over 80,000 members all over the world.”

     As I mentioned things that had gone on at WOFF, such as the list of 145 “don’ts” that was not complete; (see list here.http://tiny.cc/rfeBp ). the WCG survivor said, ” WCG was not that controlling.” Can you believe it? When I mentioned the “Toilet Paper Revelation”, (see post here. https://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=243  ). he sat back in shock. I mentioned other restraints and “don’ts” and he again confirmed his original statement.

     We agreed on several points. Many survivors have anger when they leave a cult group. Some deal with it well , while others allow it to poison them and even drive them to destructive personal habits. Some deny their belief in God or any type of religion all together. This is very sad. We also agreed that leaving a controlling group can be a direct rejection of the message and the methods while you still respect and love the members. He mentioned he still has relationship with others that had been in the WCG though he had been out since 1995. I did agree that rejecting the group does not mean rejecting the all of the people and relationships. He said that a book his wife read several years ago about cult survival, mentioned it can take eight to ten years to fully recover from cult membership. He agreed now, though at first he did not think so.

     The time spent with these men was a blessing to me. It was good to talk to someone who had grown up in a cult, survived and not lost their hunger for God. We both agreed that seeking God after a cult membership was critical to full recovery. I look forward to more time with these new friends.

     Below are links to some more information about WCG.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambassador_College  – college info

http://www.wcg.org/ – Website for re-organized Worlwide Church of God.

http://www.freedomofmind.com/resourcecenter/groups/w/wcog/#news   – fact sheet from Steven Hassan

    Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life. There are readers at WOFF. I hope this is a help to them.

     Look on the right side of any post for the option to subscribe by email for notifications or RSS feeds notifying of new postings. It is a great feature. Also, find more posts by selecting “Categories”.

      (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )

Uncategorized, WOFF Don'ts, WOFF Updates

Handout for New (or Present) WOFF Members

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     Recently, a regular reader mentioned I should publish a “handbook” for WOFF members. Actually, during my stint with the property management company during my days at WOFF; we did have a handbook or handouts for new residents. It was called a “move-in” package. So, the idea is not new. However, before I unveil my efforts; let’s go over a few points. This list is meant to inform only. There is no way for me to guaruntee the total accuracy or completeness since many of the “don’ts” are subject to change or multiplication. Also, my days at WOFF ended in July of 2008, this will not be a complete list. Other “don’ts” have been discovered since my departure. This list is totally illustrative of what could be done with the information known at this time. That is the long way to say this is the “short version”.

     Here are some excerpts… ( the numbering is different for these items…)

  1. Don’t wear jeans. (exception may be for construction work..maybe..)
  2. Don’t wear shorts.
  3. Don’t wear sleeveless dresses or tops.
  4. Don’t wear dresses above the knees.

     The entire document is here-     http://tiny.cc/sYBLc 

     Yes, there really are that many “don’ts” to remember when you live in “Don’t-dale”.. Does this list make sense? It is the short version of all the don’ts I heard over my years in Greenville and WOFF. Do you think that potential new members would be able to look over this list and still consider joining WOFF? What could be so attractive to allow someone to join a group like this when BEFOREHAND you have the list of “don’ts” and rules?

     To many folks, the attraction begins with someone at WOFF providing a job and/or a place to live. How many times did I see a single person or a young couple given a job or place to live conditional on their frequenting the services and learning the “do’s” and “don’ts” of  WOFF? Many would come, few would stay for one reason or another. If they stayed, often it was not for long. Could at least one of the reasons be the strict list of “don’ts”? So, WOFF leadership and Jane Whaley; consider using this document or one like it to give to potential members. Cut to the chase and see if any are willing to put themselves through these rigors when they know ahead of time what the routine will be! After all, isn’t that the only fair thing to do? Why wait until the new members have adjusted the job and maybe even the housing; then start increasing the “don’t” therapy?

     There were people from many different nations living in WOFF controlled housing. Several worked for the church -member owned property management company that I worked for during my stay at WOFF. I cannot say for sure that all the proper forms were completed when hiring folks from other countries for the property management company. That was not my area of responsibility.  In fact, one day between October of 2007 and March of 2008; I was asked to take a deposit for the property management company to the local bank. In addition, I was given a check to cash. It was made out to the son of one of the company’s owners. The teller at the bank made a comment to say I did not look like the owner’s son, but cashed the check anyway. The son of the owner would not get the cash. I was instructed to drop it off to one of the Brazilians working in Spartanburg, SC. He would give it to the young Brazilian for whom it was intended. It was his weekly pay for working with the property management company. Why would this Brazilian not be able to cash his own checks? Did he have proper papers? Or was this a case of something else? “Service” above and beyond? Were there others at WOFF in the same “predicament”?  All this brings us to another “don’t” – You don’t ask people from other countries if they are legal? Is that on the “Don’t List”?

    Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life. There are readers at WOFF. I hope this is a help to them.

     Look on the right side of any post for the option to subscribe by email for notifications or RSS feeds notifying of new postings. It is a great feature. Also, find more posts by selecting “Categories”.

      (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )

Uncategorized, WOFF Don'ts

The WOFF “Don’t” List – Part 7

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     This series has been outlining the conduct rules, or “don’ts” for members of WOFF. Yes, there are yet more “don’ts” to be listed. One “don’t” was for males. Men, as well as young boys down to toddlers; don’t use a urinal in a restroom unless it is completely enclosed, as with WOFF bathrooms. If you have ever visited WOFF and had occasion to learn about the enclosed urinals, then this is the answer. One fellow, who is no longer at WOFF, was called out for using a public urinal in an airport bathroom before he left. He set a “bad example for the younger boys”. He was told “we don’t do that”.

     Members of WOFF do not use tanning beds. Now, here is a restraint that could save your life. Why would it be a “don’t” of a church? Good common sense keeps many folks out of tanning beds. Why add it to the list? Many of these “don’ts” speak volumes about Jane Whaley and her desire to control.

     Again, another don’t about alcohol. WOFF members don’t go to restaurants that serve alcohol. Well, that was the “don’t”, but if you were in a position that there were no places that did not serve alcohol; then you could eat in a place that served alcohol. Just try not to sit close to the bar. Ask to be put at the opposite end of the dining area, if possible. After a business trip in 1999, I was scalded for eating at a Texas Roadhouse in Georgia. The company I worked for had stopped to have lunch with several clients. Yes, I felt uncomfortable while I was there, but the position I was in did not allow me to dictate the dining options.

     One seminar a few years ago, someone complained the Jane that several members had PO Box addresses. What was the purpose? The comment led to a ban on regular members having a PO Box. After all, who could know what mail they were getting in their box? If they got mail at the household where they lived, someone could check it. I kept my PO Box in Rutherfordton after going to someone in leadership and telling them I had a problem with giving it up. Actually, I continued to see other WOFF members picking up their mail from the Post Office. Not all “don’ts” work.

     While driving yesterday, I remembered another “don’t”. WOFF members as a rule don’t ride in the back of a pick-up truck. Here is another “don’t” that is for safety. But, why does a church have to tell their members this one? Though I rode in the back of a pick-up truck several times in years past, I would not do it, today.

     Admittedly, it is hard to remember all the restrictions and “don’ts” in order. Many of the “don’ts” occur to me as I have been going through my day. A thought or situation or comment by a co-worker will remind me that something was a “no-no”. For instance, yesterday I had to deal with motorcycles. Then I remembered that WOFF members don’t ride motorcycles, dirt bikes or ATV’s. (unless there have been major changes since my time there ended.) It was cited as a safety issue.

     You will notice that WOFF men don’t have long hair of any sorts, a don’t rule for sure.  Jane Whaley also mentioned that the African American men don’t need to be bald. It looks worldly. So, they began to grow their hair out. Read the rest of this post, we pose more questions… Continue reading The WOFF “Don’t” List – Part 7 →

Uncategorized, WOFF Updates

WOFF Member Runs for Clerk of Court

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     This is the link that shows the full list of candidates seeking the position of Clerk of Court for Rutherford County.

     http://www.rutherfordcountync.gov/dept/board_of_elections/Candidates_2010.php

     The subject of this post is not new information to those closely involved with WOFF or with the Rutherford County courthouse. However, upon learning of Ramona Hall’s name being on the Democrat primary ballot; it sparked questions for me. At this time, I do not feel qualified to comment on Ramona’s job performance or knowledge that the position requires on a day to day basis. I suspect if there were issues in that area her tenure working in the Clerk’s office would have been shortened.

     All that being said, other questions must be posed. Having the total responsibility of the Clerk of Court’s office would be a new challenge for Ramona Hall, as for anyone who takes the position for the first time. She would be making decisions in many areas of interest to the citizens of Rutherford County. (See this link for a brief list of the duties of a Clerk of Court in NC… http://www.nccourts.org/Courts/OCO/Clerk/Default.asp ) I was surprised to learn the duties of the Clerk of Court. The Clerk has many of the same powers of a magistrate. These duties include being able to issue arrest warrants and search warrants as well as being the judge of probate.

     The main question that must be posed is this: In times of deep distress or conflict in making professional decisions would Ramona Hall use her spiritual advisor – Jane Whaley for a source of counsel? I cannot say for sure. However, from what has been spoken by Ramona in other stressful personal times, she did ask Jane for counsel. What else could be expected for members of WOFF? She would not be “submitted to authority” if she did not seek counsel of some sorts from Jane Whaley and/or others in leadership.  The decision to be placed on the ballot was not done in haste without counsel, I feel certain.  The voters of Rutherford County must feel comfortable with the possibilities.

     In reality, every candidate may have a person or persons that they seek counsel from in making professional decisions. I do not know about others. But, I feel comfortable posing the question in this particular case. It is food for thought for the voters of Rutherford County. I will not be voting in the elections for Rutherford County.   

     The website listed on the sign below has a picture of several folks standing with Ramona and her family. Four of these folks are members of WOFF. No, I am not surprised. Again, the voters of Rutherford County must feel comfortable with all the possibilities should Ramona’s campaign allow her to obtain a new job.

 
Ramona Hall
Campaign Sign
  Look on the right side of any post for the option to subscribe by email for notifications or RSS feeds notifying of new postings. It is a great feature.

      (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )

Behavior Control, Uncategorized, WOFF Don'ts

The WOFF “Don’t” List – Part 6

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     As we move on to the sixth part of the series, we must give some background. Several years ago during a few of the week long seminars held in the spring or summer; Jane Whaley determined that the members wanted further instruction on certain household tasks. She approved of certain of the ministry staff to get up before the congregation and explain techniques for activities like ironing, towel folding, underwear and t-shirt folding as well as sock folding and how to arrange these in the drawer. 

     A certain minister got up and demonstrated the technique for ironing a collared shirt. If I remember right, he also demostrated ironing pants. (I missed the meeting but, was given a recap in the evening.) 

     Another minister had a chest of drawers brought in and placed on the stage. He proceeded to fold socks, roll t-shirts and fold briefs. Then they were placed as prescribed in the drawer. Afterwards, members could come up and inspect the drawers to help them see the example. At this point, I am not sure which minister demonstrated the towel folding, but someone did. If my memory serves me right, at some point members were shown the correct way to fold the corners of bedsheets. 

     The reaction of the children over these demonstrations was of particular interest. The excitement level was high as many were joyous over the new techniques shared. In and of themselves, I found nothing wrong with the techniques. However, in the overall environment of WOFF, the “do’s” had/have a way of becoming fuel for “don’ts” as you may surmise. The believers at WOFF were/are eager to learn the next thing to do or not do in order to “fulfill their call”, “grow in Jesus” or “be the minister Jesus has called them to be…”. If you have read certain previous posts like “The Toilet Paper Revelation” or “Why No Note Taking During the Service!”, then what happened afterwards would be no surprise. The pressures to make sure your personal space measured up to the approved standard was great. It was used as another way to exert a “We don’t do it that way” when you slipped from the demonstrated standard. 

     In order to demonstrate the point, I relate the following incident to which I was a personal witness. In the first quarter of 2005, I traveled with a large group to Brazil on a “missions” trip. This was my first trip with folks from WOFF. We were sitting at the airport in Charlotte, NC. We were to the far right sitting in chairs waiting to pass through to the secured area. The main church secretary was standing among the group waiting for us to move to the next part. She was not taking the trip. However, while we were there waiting she looked at the young man sitting next to me in the row of chairs. She asked him a couple of questions and then said, “Do you realize you have double creases in your pants?” She said, “We don’t do that. You do know how to make that right?” She then went on the explain how to take out the double and put back a single crease. Of course, I listened! 

     At the time, I did not think much of the “correction”.  However, later I realized how that news of double creases affected the young man. He already was self-conscious and did not need another weight to carry. The church secretary had a way of pushing a point deeper when she supposed she was “helping” a person. Some folks have that gift. 

     So, what was intended as a “do” becomes a “We don’t do it that way”.  So, at WOFF, there was a specified way to keep your drawers, fold your towels and iron your clothes. If you slipped, then you could be reminded- “We don’t do it that way. Where were you when God showed us how to do that?” 

     As a reminder; it is not the specific list of “don’ts” that is the vital issue at hand when discussing life at WOFF. Certainly in this country, many folks can and do abstain from many things in the name of keeping their religious preferences.  The point is the great number of very minute conduct rules and how they are used to control members who seek Jane’s approval.  That is the purpose of this series of posts. 

     A scripture that seems to fit here… (emphasis added) 

Colossians 2:20-22 (Amplified Bible)

20If then you have died with Christ to material ways of looking at things and have escaped from the world’s crude and elemental notions and teachings of externalism, why do you live as if you still belong to the world? [Why do you submit to rules and regulations?–such as] 

    21Do not handle [this], Do not taste [that], Do not even touch [them], 

    22Referring to things all of which perish with being used. To do this is to follow human precepts and doctrines.(A)   

 A definition of externalism…from Answers.com  n.
Excessive concern with outer circumstances or appearances.     

     The “don’ts” and rules that have been recited in the these posts serve as a strong means of control over members of WOFF.  These conduct rules help “keep you in your place”. Well, that is for sure. So, how is that “freedom in Christ” working out for you as a member of WOFF?

Galatians 5:1 (Amplified Bible)

  1IN [this] freedom Christ has made us free [and completely liberated us]; stand fast then, and do not be hampered and held ensnared and submit again to a yoke of slavery [which you have once put off].

      Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life. There are readers at WOFF. I hope this is a help to them.

     Look on the right side of any post for the option to subscribe by email for notifications or RSS feeds notifying of new postings. It is a great feature.

      (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )

    
                                                                                                                                   

FLDS, Uncategorized

FLDS gets New President – other FLDS News

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     Warren Jeffs has been in jail since 2007. He verbally resigned his position as President of the Corporation that ran the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FDLS). Not until January 13, 2010 were papers filed to change the Corporation and name the new President.

    Wendell Nielsen is now President of the corporation that runs the FLDS. It is reported that he had served as “first counselor” and had been running the daily business of the church for some time.  For some background on the tangled mess called FLDS, see this link- http://tiny.cc/2MYVr  Also, here is a link explaining that this man is reported to have 21 wives..  http://tiny.cc/Zm6Vo

      More interesting updates are listed here –http://tiny.cc/WUltO 

     Several leaders have faced charges relating to the raid on Yearning for Zion Ranch in Eldorado, TX. The raid took place in April 2008. Here is a link to an article written shortly after the raid. http://tiny.cc/CZ3N3  The headline I remember reading from that time- “FLDS Run by Fear”, saying to myself- they are not the only ones!

      What will become of the many families involved in FLDS? The children born and raised within that group have an extra difficult time learning anything else but what is in front of them. The tight control of information from outside sources keeps members of FLDS in the dark about many issues.

       Brent Jeffs in “Lost Boy” (copyright 2009) states “ A very young child thinks virtually any family situation is normal, since that’s the only life he knows.” (page 55)  He echoes the same sentiment that Jim Jones, Jr. stated when talking about his family. “When you live in a dysfunctional family you think it is normal.” (PBS documentary- JONESTOWN- “The Life and Death of People’s Temple- copyright 2007)  

     As with the children of FLDS, so with WOFF and other religious mind control groups. Those born and reared inside these groups have a very difficult time learning any information that would balance the intensely focused world in which they live.

     Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life. There are readers at WOFF. I hope this is a help to them.

     Look on the right side of any post for the option to subscribe by email for notifications or RSS feeds notifying of new postings. It is a great feature.

      (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )