In both “Lost Boy” and “Stolen Innocence”, both authors give details of the struggles within their families. Specifically, the emotional trauma of their siblings leaving or “being put out on the side of the road” (page 47 – Stolen Innocence). Also, the threat and practice of being “reassigned” within FLDS was heart breaking to read about. Obviously, the daily struggles within FLDS for the families were a big part of the lives of each author growing up.

     Reading these accounts was difficult on many levels. The number of families split up and broken at WOFF over the years is no small number.  Over the years, the list only continues to grow of broken families or traumatized individuals stemming from WOFF and its practices. A few families would leave as a unit. But, the emotional baggage of having been a part of WOFF was great on any level for single people or families.

     There was a the couple at WOFF who moved back west. The husband left and originally the mother stayed with the two boys. She went for a visit and never returned to WOFF. That story was quieted and not spoken about much at all.

     There was the family that got up to leave WOFF in the middle of a service while certain folks tried to physically restrain the father. It was a big to do and left many folks shaking. Jane told the “strong guys” to “let him go”. He secured his wife and children and left. It was a big scene. A couple of days later, they were packed and headed back West to start a new life. They had been a part of the church and school for years. The children were clearly befuddled and confused.

     There have been many young folks to leave WOFF and experience the trauma of being told -“you are not serving God!” “You will lose the “Call of God” and never make it!” The devil will take you to hell; you will go back to your vomit. You can’t make it on your own. The “unclean” will take you over! Yes, some did go back to their destructive habits. But, is that a reflection on their new freedoms or their previous environment? Were they ever given the help needed to stay away from old habits or did they just develop a pattern of dependency?

     How do we count the families that were broken as one spouse would leave WOFF and the other not, or a grown child would leave and strike out on the own without the “blessing of Jane”..? From just the ones I know about and can remember…  I can think of 27 families or individuals directly affected either by a spouse or child leaving.  I can only remember one single lady who Jane said would be better off back with her parents… All others left in a cloud of confusion. These were folks with a “Judas spirit”.. according to Jane. She would often ask “Who is next?” This came more as a challenge then a true question.

     So, what if my exact count is off? I believe I have missed by a few. The point should be well taken – broken families are common to FLDS and WOFF and evident and obvious to anyone who will examine the subject.

     What is the common characteristic in the two groups that would lead to families splitting and/or children leaving their family and the church? It is difficult to name just one attribute, but here is a key one.

    “Your only real family are [sic] the members of the priesthood who are faithful to our prophet. – Warren Jeffs

     FLDS members were taught that the prophet spoke for God. As time passed, Warren Jeffs spoke for his father, the prophet and thus “for God”. By the end of his reign, Warren Jeffs had no checks or balances on his governing powers. Women and children were considered “property of the priesthood” and could be reassigned to another man by the “revelation” of the prophet. Thus, no real stability to assure the family units would remain in tact. Your “priesthood family” was more crucial to your life now and in the hereafter. 

 Matthew 12:46-50 (Amplified Bible)

⁴⁶Jesus was still speaking to the people when behold, His mother and brothers stood outside, seeking to speak to Him. ^47[a]Someone said to Him, Listen! Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak to You.  ⁴⁸But He replied to the man who told Him, Who is My mother, and who are My brothers?⁴⁹And stretching out His hand toward [not only the twelve disciples but all] ^[b]His adherents, He said, Here are My mother and My brothers.⁵⁰For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother!

     This scripture was often used to justify elevating the relationships with those who were in the church over natural family members who are not “doing the will of God”… Would Jesus really teach his followers to ignore family members who are not in WOFF or who are struggling to accept Jane Whaley as God’s only mouthpiece?

     WOFF members are taught that Jane Whaley hears God and knows God’s will. She “hears” for members in matters great and small. There are no checks and balances in the power structure used at WOFF. Many times, I have seen a spouse so entrenched in their faith in Jane and Jane speaking for God, that the other spouse is a secondary consideration in the decisions of the family. If there is one spouse who does not agree with Jane, then the other one must chose and many times that choice is Jane’s word over their mate’s.  At WOFF, choosing a spouse’s words or leading over the direct word from Jane Whaley could mean the family being put out of the church and “missing the move of God” (heaven..). The fear of being “put out” or “on church discipline” resulted in stress in families.

      Thus, the seeds of destruction lie within the spiritual abuse environment created for the members. Each leader promised strict adherance to the beliefs and practices would give hope in the hereafter. Extreme “faithfulness and obedience” to the doctrines and “words of the prophet” in FLDS can lead to “being lifted up at the last day”. If you “doubt the Prophet and his will”, you could miss heaven.

     In WOFF, following the “apostle” Jane would result in “fulfilling the call of God” (making it to heaven). To not “fulfill your call”, (follow “God’s will” through Jane) could cause you to miss heaven.

     How can there be long term stability within the families with these practices in each group?

      Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life.

      (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )

     As the list similarities between FLDS and WOFF grows, it is evident that the mode of operation used by the two leaders is the same. There is evidence of strong control and autocratic leadership methods in each group. FLDS being patriarchal and WOFF being matriarchal; with one central figure in each group who holds the power. (before Warren Jeffs “retired” with his arrest..)

     Warren Jeffs was reported in “Lost Boy” as thinking of “himself as a singer/songwriter, but from my perspective (Brent Jeffs) he really didn’t qualify as either…His singing was amplified over that of the congregation, and often sounded off-key.” (page 59)

     Jane Whaley also took the position as main songwriter in WOFF. She admittedly had no formal training for music, but that did not stop her. She would write songs often “hearing” them during a service. The whole order of service was predicated on whatever Jane “heard from God”; so we stopped and listened as Jane and her support group would gather around the piano and hammer out another song. The whole congregation was expected to “pull on God” to help “birth in the song of the Lord”.. Not every time was a song finished, it may be shelved until a later time.

     In addition, ALL songs sung during praise and worship or any part of the service had to be Jane approved. If Jane was not in the sanctuary, you can rest assured she would be listening on the monitor in her office. (if she was in town) Occasionally, when she was out of town, she still would be listening to the service. Or she could be called by a lieutenant who suspected something was “not right with the music.” She has called back in on her cell phone and corrected whoever was leading the music. That person got things “off track” and she would call to “get things back in the direction God wanted them to go…”.

      Most services the musical instruments would be a piano, electric keyboard and one guitar. Other instruments were added and taken away from time to time according to “what was working in the musicians” at the time. Jane finally heard from God that children could learn to play instruments. Then, some let the instruments occupy a “bigger place in their heart than Jesus”, so Jane stopped music lessons for a long while. As of late, I hear certain children have begun to play their instruments again, “after getting their breakthroughs…”

     There would be no playing of the instruments at home unless “leadership had a ahold of it”…  Jane did not want the children to “be taken over by the music devil”..

     There were three refugees from the Christian music industry that had taken refuge at WOFF. ( I suppose they are still there..) One had been a recording artist and traveled as a drummer with a rock music “superstar”. He had stories that he mainly kept to himself as he has fought drug addition for years. He has been in and out of the church several times over the years. He would always “find a place of repentance” and Jane would let him back up on stage to sing after who knows how many battles with drugs??…  Another man from a European country was an expert sound mixer or producer. He had helped bring certain music styles from Europe to America several years ago. He also had been part owner in a specialty guitar manufacturing company in Europe. The third “refugee” was a Christian music producer out of Nashville who had worked with several leading Christian recording artists. Each would get up and warn the young people of the horrors of not “submitting to Jesus” while playing or singing the song of the Lord. They would name names of several leading Christian artists who had major messes in their personal lives…

     In “Lost Boy”, Brent Jeffs explains the restrictions on movies and music. “Movies were especially bad and to be avoided… And, of course, radio and tapes and CDs— except for Warren’s hymns and speeches— were blasphemous and could get you in trouble if you were caught with them. Some people would listen to his sermons on tape throughout the day.” (page 103) (emphasis added..)

     In “Stolen Innocence”, Elissa Wall writes, “We were encouraged to listen to tapes of Uncle Warren’s important sermons as frequently as we could. Often in school we would hear these tapes wafting out of the loudspeakers as we went about our day. We also would listen to them at home the way other families would listen to music.. I searched for answers in the tapes… If I didn’t understand something, it was better not to say it aloud than appear to be questioning priesthood principles.” (page 52)

     For years at WOFF, the only approved music tape was a praise and worship tape that WOFF produced. We wore out our copy. Also, like FLDS; we were encouraged to hear every service by coming back to the church and listening to the tape; if we had missed it for some reason. And for those “in discipleship” or on “church discipline” – listening to tapes of Jane’s sermons was an important part of “submitting your heart to find a place of repentance” or find out “where you had missed God.”..

    As with FLDS,  movies were not allowed at WOFF. But, Jane did allow folks to “hear God” if they should go to see “The Passion” a few years ago. It was truly a sight to see all those WOFF members in a movie theatre! It was strange, you were being watched to see if you were “giving over” and liking or lusting after the whole movie thing. We all came back to the church for prayer afterwards. The next service, one lieutenant got up and told everyone how wicked the movie was and we all were encouraged to repent for going. Jane had not gone. But, she knew ahead of time this movie would “test our hearts” to see if we still had the “movie devil” in us…

      Again, the similarities between FLDS and WOFF stare us in the face. I close with a quote from one who was revered at WOFF, Ronald Reagan. His funeral was taped and watched as a church service. No one watched it at home,  since no one but Jane admitted to having a TV in their house. “God told Jane” when to watch television. Many times she would watch “Christian” television. She would come back and update us on who “had truth” and who didn’t. I can’t remember her ever saying she totally agreed with any television preacher. Also, Larry King’s last interviewed with Tammy Faye Baker was taped and shown to the whole church..please, tell me why? We also watched as a church, the History Channel’s documentary on the “Origins of Christmas”. But that is for another day…

Okay, here is the simple quote:

“Facts are stubborn things.” – Ronald Reagan

Has anyone seen a “duck” lately?

Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. It could very well save their life. There are some good readers inside of WOFF. I know for sure.. 🙂

(Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. )

     Brent Jeffs makes it clear in his book, “Lost Boy”; that there were many times that the leadership of the FLDS church coined a special word to soften the meaning or actually hide the true meaning of a phrase or activity. In WOFF, that happened regularly. Many of the phrases have been used already in postings here. However, here is a recap of the terms used in WOFF, either coined or re-defined to meet the needs of leadership, ie. Jane Whaley. (Jane Whaley had the final say as to what term to use and how to use it in any situation.)

     When I first came out of WOFF, I had to re-adjust my vocabulary so many folks could understand what I was saying. To explain the terms I had used meant explaining why I left WOFF and there usually was not time for that while working.

1. Take hold – In WOFF could mean- shape up…? Get with the program! Put a lid on it! Just obey what you have been told! The phrase could mean many things according to the context. “Take hold of that person” – help them “get their heart right” and submit to what ever Jane said or was dictated from the pulpit.

2. Open your Heart, – Share you heart, tell ALL your sin to someone who is “taking hold of your life”… In FLDS- “reporting in” (Lost Boy-pg 120)

3. “Fulfill your call“- move up the ranks and pass on the control to others, repeat the message until others get it through you… It was said many times; “You will never full your call until you help someone else fulfill their call.”  The way this transpired was you finding someone else to “help open their heart” and “take hold of them”.Help them..”find their place of submission in Jesus”, or in the group- which ever was more obvious.

4.“ Stay submitted”– meant don’t get mad about something that you don’t understand. AND don’t ask any more questions about it! Also, you could be reminded to “be sweet”… One leader spent several sermons talking about how he was learning to “be sweet” and how that “helped” him.

In FLDS; the equivalent- “Keep Sweet“. (Lost Boy-pg 29) You are not supposed to have the “bad feelings” or thoughts- if you did, then don’t voice them.. “Don’t refuse a blessing…”

5. “Everyone loves Jane Whaley and Jane Whaley loves everyone- if they don’t show that love they are listening to the devil!” This was Jane’s admitted rationale statement she used to justify why others may shun her or speak evil of her. She said this thought helped her approach others that may not seem ready to “be sweet” to her… (This will be a posting all by itself later..Have you ever heard of Narcissism?.)

6.  “fine tuning” In WOFF; this meant getting further instruction or interpretation on a situation from Jane.    “Adjustments”- In FLDS,  this meant changes in the rules. (Usually more strict…)

7. “Work Projects“- In WOFF, this was taking time after normal work hours and on Saturdays to work at someone else’s house helping them. It could also be at the church or on a church owned property. Supposedly, there was a list that Jane and one of her close “helpers” kept of houses that needed paint, carpet, or other changes. Early on, many men were told that they needed to get involved in these work projects ESPECIALLY if they had a handyman type skill. I painted for a while until it was obvious that doing this would leave little to NO time for family activities. (which in some cases- men were told that they “gave to perversion” with their family so, why would you need to spend that much time with them?”) Getting involved in helping others would “help you come into your place in the ministry.”  

In FLDS- “Saturday Work Days” – young boys of 14 on up in age were expected to do the SAME THING on Saturday as was mentioned for WOFF. It appears that both groups used the standard “guilt trip” techniques to shame folks into leaving their families and “help” others with their houses. It was meant to save folks money but at what cost?

8. “Receiving a Blessing“- In FLDS, never refuse a blessing, it was seen as ungrateful and nonspiritual and not “being obedient“. Being obedient was a cornerstone of FLDS (and WOFF). (Lost Boy -pg 12, 31)

In WOFF, your “blessing” could have a big mortgage payment or even a large car payment attached to it, strange “blessing” in many cases. Anything that may be evidence of a “prosperous” lifestyle had to be a “blessing”. Sam Whaley often mentioned how his friends would drive through the church parking lot and see the cars of members. They would say “Sam, your folks must be doing good… not an old car in the lot!”… Sam was so happy to hear this!

9. In WOFF- go get “checked out” to see if you are hearing right? Is this time for me to get married?” that is with Jane Whaley of course. Jane claimed to never direct anyone without knowing their was a mutual interest from both parties. But, all relationships and ALL marriages were Jane approved or IT DID NOT HAPPEN. And if a couple “sinned” before they were able to get married, it could be called off or postponed indefinitely by Jane.

In FLDS- a woman could “present herself” for marriage. The prophet would ask her if she had a vision of who should be her husband. If she had heard right, then the prophet may set-up a quick wedding. If not, then he may direct her to go back and pray more or tell her straight out who she would marry.  (Lost Boy -pg 18)

10.  In WOFF- “singles fellowship nights”where a sinlge man and single woman could talk and “be guarded” in their conversation- many times over dinner at the church. These meetings were often accompanied by teaching on “God’s way for relationships”.  

In FLDS – “Fireside gatherings” (Lost Boy -pg 19), FLDS would allow young singles over 15 years old to come together and teach them about Mormon marriage relationships. Afterwards, they would allow them to socialize over snacks.

11. “One man Rule”  (Lost Boy-pg 15), In FLDS, One man rule was just that. Counsel from other men in leadership was not needed or heeded.

In WOFF – in theory, Jane Whaley has a Board of Directors and a group of “leadership” that she asks questions and allows to be in her office when members come in with problems. But, so let it be known, so let it be written – Jane has the final say in EVERY matter of the church. In 16 years, I remember only one time did Jane share her pulpit with an outside speaker (politicians courting the vote…excepted..) Dr. “Z” from Africa was allowed to come speak. After Jane “prayed” for him and he left the building; Jane said he was not “walking where we are” and discounted just about everything the man said. She did not want any “error to take root in us”..

12. In WOFF- “That did not feel right”. The phrase could mean different things at different times. Most of the time someone used this phrase to arrest the attention of someone else about something they did or said. It could involve an individual or a group of folks and by using the phrase; you were putting them on notice that the whole situation was now going to be reviewed by someone in leadership. (most likely – Jane.) Then it could be checked out to see if everyone involved was “giving to Jesus” and “had a hold of Jesus” and, and ,and… many times it was a whole big deal and new doctrines, rules and edicts came from these times. For this was when things were “fine tuned“… What was the outcome? Many times it served as an exhibition of Jane’s power to determine what was sin; who was in sin; who was right and who was “giving to devils” and , and, and, – a further clarification of who was in charge- Jane.

Explaining the special code words and their meaning that has been present in both FLDS and WOFF will take more postings. Let it be sufficient to show the number of code words and their similarities listed in this post are more than just one or two. The “code” words are also indicative of the similar practices in both groups.

(Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this website…)