In Part 5 of the post on “identity”, I expressed some things I had learned about myself. For sure, I had taken on the Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) identity that fit my situation. There was for the most part, compliance in my life for the outside requirements for WOFF members in dress and lifestyle. During my time at WOFF, I would help others learn the behaviors I had learned that were needed to live the WOFF life. On the inside of me, not everything done at WOFF was a “for sure thing”. I did harbor doubts and confusion on some issues. Here is a paragraph from the last post that will lead into the subject for this post…
“Why would someone like me stuff or ignore doubts about the group and Jane Whaley? That answer has many parts. First, let’s look at a quote from Janis Hutchison’s book, “Out of the Cults and Into the Church”(copyright 1994 Kregel Resources) in Chapter 4 – No “Quick Fix”: “When you were in the cult, you so sincerely, believed it was the truth, that it triggered a deeper level of spirituality than you ever experienced before. It touched the inner core of your soul with an exciting devotion which was new to you.” (page 87) Ms. Hutchinson recognizes in this passage that cult members can experience deep levels of belief and emotions, even if those beliefs and emotions are directed toward cult ordained beliefs and practices. This statement helped explain to me how I could have felt so spiritual and yet been involved in something so far from the true purpose for Christians and the local church. In retrospect, the oddness or “counter-normal” nature of the beliefs and practices did not repel me. I believed for the most part, that being so different lent credibility to the “fact” that “Jane Whaley heard God”. How perverted and confused was that?”
Let me say that I did go through periods of what I considered “heightened personal spirituality” while at WOFF. There were times when I was into the lifestyle “hook, line and sinker”. I would even try to share with outsiders about WOFF and invite them to church. I became practiced in explaining loud prayer and other obvious traits of WOFF that newcomers would inquire about. Honestly, I knew the mantra on loud prayer, but still there was nervousness when bringing a new person into the services. Questions that would race through my head included; “What will be their reactions to “blasting”? What will they ask about “deliverance”? Will Jane “correct” someone, today? Will she be in a bad mood and go off on a tirade?” Was I the only WOFF member who had these questions when they brought a guest?
Continue reading New Identity- Chameleon Faith at WOFF- Part 6