Previously, I wrote a post titled: Adulation- the Drug of Choice. (link here-http://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=3843 ) It has spawned several comments. One reader wrote the following:   Great article! By substituting group names and leaders’ names we see this fits our experiences to a “T”. As for the “Why did we stay and do what we did?” question, the answer is simple: LOVE – We love(d) God and thought loving them was equal to serving God. They used our love against us for their own self-profiting reasons. It is a difficult reality to face having been used; but once we accept this fact it helps clear things up with respect to motives (theirs and ours) and actions (theirs and ours). Like any other user, a love-thief mimics the phraseology of the victims stating: “I love you.” knowing the victims will interpret that statement as meaning what it does when they say “I love YOU.” –unconditional love. But truly the love-thief only means “I love what you DO for me.” The true test of the love-thief’s statement comes when you stop performing to their standards or stop supplying their “fix”. Typically the love-thief will upbraid, ridicule, or ostracize you, proving they did not in fact “love” YOU; they only loved what you DID for them. At least, that’s what we think…  Don and Ange

     Many times over the last year, the material for a certain post has caught my attention and grabbed my interest more than normal. This comment prompted one of those experiences. The reader’s comment was an attempt to explain why members of cults could be involved with destructive groups. The concept of Love and its misuse and abuse is not new. Certainly the abuse of Love is as old as man himself. However, the explanation within the group setting as explained by Don T. helped me and sent my thoughts off into a direction that help me understand myself and my reasons for continuing even when there were doubts. I not only believed I loved the leaders, I loved my family and did not want to lose them, as was predicted by BC.

      Love– is such a rich word that has many underlying concepts. It is easy to understand how its meaning in a given relationship could be misapplied or misused. The purposeful misuse for personal gain is VERY plausible and evident in reference to the relationship of controlling group leader to members; as well as in the case of WOFF and other groups like WOFF. The term implies that the abuser steals “Love”. That is true. What else is stolen in this perverted relationship? I suggest that more than love is stolen. Time, energy, finances, in essence, the very life of a member is stolen in a group like WOFF. At some point, in the evolution of a love-thief, the leader can morph into a “life-thief”. There is a point where the very lives are stolen from the members of a group such as WOFF and NTCC and/or others in that vein. 

  How do we know? One proof is to look at the many folks whose lives and their relationships with families and friends have been altered, changed or completely destroyed. Relationships to a certain degree give us fullness or richness in our lives. It has been said that “No man is an island.” In groups like WOFF, relationships of group members are altered destroyed and completely subject to the whims and dictates of the group’s leader. When these relationships are torn and mutilated, does that not alter the quality of the life of the member?  

     When considering the relationships and life of one who has been a member of a controlling group, the pictures that come to mind are the aftermath of the Battle Antietam or the Battle of Gettysburg or more accurately Jonestown.

    The members of Peoples Temple came to the end of life by the hand of a life-thief of the highest degree. What must present a confusing picture to outsiders is to see WOFF members coming and going and living their lives. From the outside, others cannot see the damage, which with deeper searching becomes evident in the lives of members of WOFF. What did they “sacrifice” thinking they loved God; loving and serving the leader who represented God? Do we dare ask them about their family members outside of WOFF? How are they treating them? Can they attend family gatherings – unhindered without having to ask permission? What about friends outside of WOFF? Do they have any? Are they free to love others outside of their group? Is there free association with family or friends outside of the group or are those relationship regulated and/or restricted?

    In order to obtain complete picture of WOFF and the effects it has on the lives of its members, you must consider the images which contain the faces of the folks that have had their relationships and lives ruined because of Jane Whaley the love-thief turned life-thief. These would contain pictures of the estranged families and friends of present members as well as former members of WOFF.  Remember you are not seeing the whole picture when you look only at WOFF members. They are in many cases the walking wounded, so traumatized and numbed to their injuries and losses because it is all for the will of God and the call  of God, in the love of God.  They excuse and deny and look away from their former lives and count it as loss, in a perverted, sick, way. I know I was one. To continue in WOFF, you must allow the life-thief to have her way and decimate and destroy any relationship or part of your life that does not fit the motif of her desires and plans for her members. In order to be in WOFF, Jane takes total control of the faithful and becomes the relationship designer and engineer. Young people –especially have their lives planned and muted and mutated by Jane, based on deception, manipulation and control of their whole environment.

     During a service I attended, Jane scoffed and made fun of the notion she controlled 400 folks. Well, then a certain level of self-deception rests on and resides in her. That explains the psychosis and narcissism that is Jane Whaley.  Similar to drug users and abusers, she does not see how the effects of her life destroy those around her. She thinks she is doing those people good that bow and serve her every whim. When she actually is a love-thief, life-thief and destroyer of the very ones she claims to help, love and protect. She protects folks? Protects from what- their own free will and destiny unhindered by her control? She protects them from their freedom to live their lives? How perverted is that?

    The culture of WOFF is in reality the Valley of Dead Relationships; replete with lost lives and sincere mind/heart numbed followers seeking to serve Jane with their love and devotion in return for what- lost years, false promises, a sham and façade of an existence. Can you truly serve a love-thief – forever? What does it take to wake up to the reality of being used for the enrichment of a leader and her chosen few? Are their true friends inside of WOFF given what we know about the relationship dynamics that exist? WOFF members are told that other members are their true friends. Really? True friends? For how long after you stop believing the WOFF sham? We should test that statement of “true friends”.

     For years, I was one who followed a “love-thief” as they evolved into a “life-thief”.  I gave up years, spent money, spent energy and had/have broken relationships to prove my plight. Jane destroys and does not build up, she robs does not replace, she steals and only returns when it gives her more power over others by love-bombing and deception. There is no gift from Jane that does not come with a price or hook. She is deliberate and calculated planner of her thievery and deception over others. She steals as any thief- for her gain- she is a compulsive life-thief– she gains her life by ruling/destroying the lives of others- what do you call that? The term parasite seems to fit. She teaches her “leaders” the same parasitic way to “lead”.

   Another reader submitted this comment to the previous post: Thank you for hitting it straight on.  The psychology/pathology behind Jane is the key.  Why do we choose the authorities we choose?  What need did we have that Jane was able to meet? Though it was at a terribly terribly high price to pay but there is more to it than just meeting Jane’s needs but in truth our own needs were being met. I know why I was there.  Keep up the good work! love, Arthur

    What needs does Jane/WOFF meet? For some it is housing, for some it is employment and/or “friends”. For many, it was all these and more. For some, it was/is the allusion that there was/is a larger purpose being fulfilled- the “Call of God”. Like Jim Jones, Jane was/is a master at finding needs and filling them. That becomes one way to obligate folks- you support them. We posted on this dependency here… Permanent Dependent Underclass? at WOFF? (1)- April 23, 2010- http://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=1869

    We were giving love/service and thought we were being loved. For years, I did not see the performance requirements or realize WOFF-life had evolved into a parasitic relationship. Jane thinks or deceives herself into believing her function is symbiotic, but it is parasitic. Leaders in WOFF are allowed to learn the parasitic style as long as it affirms Jane’s needs and overall plan. How many can they “teach the ways of God” which equates to use/abuse faithful members into giving them service, time, energy and their very life-breath to meet some need they have like a house refurbish, house cleaning, painting, car wash, carpet install, weed-eating and landscaping, unpaid over-time or ???

    We may come back to this concept of “love-thief” and “life-thief”. Other readers, who have more to add to this concept, please, take time to comment.

  Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog. Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.

   Look on the right side of any post for the option to subscribe by email for notifications or RSS feeds notifying of new postings. It is a great feature. Also, find more posts by selecting “Categories”.

    (Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. ) Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 265.