Is There Envy at WOFF?

  This is the fourth in a series about the subject of narcissism. The source book has been – “Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism” (Copyright©2002, 2003 by Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW, published by FREE PRESS, ISBN-13:978-0-7432-1428-5). I have been quoting excerpts from the source book and comparing them to my experiences at Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF). Our last post on this book focused on the author’s explanation of “Arrogance” in chapter 3. I put forth my ideas while attempting to explain the author’s observations in light of the religious setting of WOFF.

   Hotchkiss writes, “The Narcissist’s need to secure a sense of superiority encounters an obstacle whenever someone else appears to have something that he or she lacks. Pop goes the internal balloon as the other’s threat to the superiority of Me registers deep within the unconscious…. What weapon does the Narcissist choose to silence the rumblings of shame?… The answer is contempt… Never mind that the “so and so” may be utterly humble and completely unaware of having given offense – this is a narcissistic distortion akin to shame-dumping and may have no connection to reality.” (page 15)

   Honestly, when I first read this chapter it did not register as I still had a problem with assigning to Jane Whaley the characteristic of envy. Part of that is because in my thinking, this trait had to be simply obvious. As I read further and began to recall certain events at WOFF, my thinking began to change. The author makes a point that the alarms and signals of distress in the narcissist register “deep within the unconscious” mind. Also, she writes that the offending party may be “completely unaware of having given offense”. The author continues, “Then comes the laundry list of the other’s flaws and it can get pretty dirty. The intent, usually quite unconscious, is to soil the other (person) enough so that the Narcissist, by comparison is restored to the superior position. There may be awareness of feelings of disdain (always justified of course), but the feeling of envy will be adamantly denied. To admit envy would be to acknowledge inferiority, which no good Narcissist would ever do.” (page 15-16)  

   To these text quotes, I will add that because of the religious environment of WOFF, any appearance of envy would be automatically denied and/or rationalized as something other than what it was. Why would this be required? Hotchkiss answers this later in the chapter with this observation, “Envy is such a common human foible that is made the biblical list of deadly sins.” (page18) Showing obvious envy would compromise Jane’s self appointed “authority” and certainly her claim to “perfection”. After acknowledging all of this, I will recount certain events witnessed at WOFF, some of which have been written about in previous posts.

   One visiting minister was allowed to speak from the pulpit during my time at WOFF. That was Dr. “Z” from Africa. Jane met him on an airplane trip and allowed him to visit. Who knows what her true motives were? However, she did give out a laundry list of flaws as to why we should not count his preaching/teaching/message to be on the same level as hers. After all he did not receive with gladness the prayer offered him before he left and besides “He was not walking where we are walking”. The underlying message was that of course Jane walked in a higher place in the spirit and to consider otherwise was to be foolish. She was “superior” in “the things of God”. Well, I did not catch the full impact of that day until I considered the next event.

    In a May Seminar either late 90’s or a just before 2002, Jane showed several ministers on “monitors” that she had recorded from her television. The original post titled “The May Seminar We Watched TV Preachers” is found here: http://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=266 . It was such a tumultuous service. But, in light of the “laundry list” of why each minister was not preaching the gospel or had worldly music or was in error, how else could this be explained other than Jane using the opportunity  “to soil the other (person) enough so that the Narcissist(Jane), by comparison is restored to the superior position.” I have a hard time thinking the message that the preachers taught was the subject of envy for Jane. For by all accounts, she considers herself behind in no area of “revelation from God”. No, I believe that somewhere she needed to reestablish here superiority and justify in her mind why she did/does not have television ministry. After all, many of her “Fathers in the Faith” from Kenneth Hagin to Kenneth Copeland to Jerry Savelle on down to whoever may have ordained her could be the secret object of her envy. They all have been or on television.  In years past, she has sought to separate herself from that type of teaching. She also may have felt threatened as the television preachers had an opportunity to become well accepted and receive even larger financial contributions than she did. The list of why she felt threatened during this time could be long.

   Another consistent happening at WOFF which was mainly orchestrated by Jane Whaley was the barrage of insults and accusations hurled at those who had left the group. There could be many reasons for this signature practice of Jane Whaley and her group. The least of reasons could be to discourage any present member from longing for the day when they could be free from the restraints of WOFF and the tirades of Jane. After all, to make a break for the door would be to for sure consider that after you left your would be talked about like the ones who had left previously. Another reason would be to quash any desire to follow or learn why someone had truly left. Many times, the true reasons seemed clouded and stained or filtered to say the least. Can we forget the wedding pictures of a former member which were passed around and used to warn others that if they left, they would be just like those in the pictures? We were told we would drink beer, get fat and wear short dresses. Really? No matter which member left, Jane always came out looking like and smelling like the rose of righteousness. That was to the WOFF members still in the corral. Could all of this justifying be in order to make Jane look and smell perfect as a cover-up for a fragile, insecure Narcissist struggling to keep the charade going, even if just in her own thinking?

   “Obsequiousness toward those in power is another version of envy in disguise. Someone else’s power is very threatening to a Narcissist and evokes not only envy and contempt but fear of retaliation.” (page 18) After I looked up “obsequiousness” and learned the meaning, I could agree with the statement and how it relates to Jane. A paraphrased definition would be a false fawning act of compliance. My thoughts turned to the list of politicians that have paraded through WOFF and Jane’s reaction to them as she praised them and gave up her precious pulpit to them to express their ideas. Could it be that politicians represent a “power” that Jane envies and in some ways fears? Is it possible that she does whatever it takes to please the ones she thinks have or will have the power over her and her “ministry”?

“Narcissistic envy, fueled by the desperate need to be superior, is something far darker. Like so much else that goes on within a Narcissist, it is unconscious or denied, which makes it much more dangerous. Unaware of either envy or the need for superiority, these individuals may feel only self-righteous contempt. And that, dear reader, is just another word for hate.” (page 18) So, am I saying that Jane harbors envy and hate in her heart? If that is not true, then explain the conduct that has been noted from my WOFF days. Yes, Jane admits to “hating the devil”. That is no surprise. But, in her mind, either consciously or unconsciously, could she also be excusing her feelings as justified for those that “listen to the devil” and leave her? Could leaving Jane be seen by her as saying “I am better than you” and no longer believe your lies and you have no more power over me? Could her constant drive to be “superior” in “the things of God” be her justification for her actions towards those who she believes have left her God and left her “church” and turned their back on “the things of God”?  Could it be that all the while, in reality, this group of followers or “church” has served as a narcissistic support team to keep her going forward in her WOFF-bubble? I believe I was a part of a narcissistic support team while at WOFF and am so glad to have been kicked off the team, so to speak. Is that one reason Jane puts some people out of her “church”? They no longer give her the loyalty, believe her junk and support her fantasies. They refuse to keep taking her shame and in fact by expressing doubt or some other type of “sinful thoughts”, she is left with no choice but to turn them away from her? All of these are questions to ponder.

   We will continue with our source book and review the author’s thoughts on entitlement. Is there an attitude or sense of entitlement in Jane Whaley? Please, return to this blog for future posts on narcissism.

   Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog. Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.

     Look on the right side of any post for the option to subscribe by email for notifications or RSS feeds notifying of new postings. It is a great feature. Also, find more posts by selecting “Categories”.

     Guest posts reflect the opinions of the writers. Their opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions of John Huddle or any other persons affiliated with this blog.

       Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, for posts written by John Huddle, any information about WOFF is from his memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be.  Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 334.