As mentioned on this blog in previous posts, I realize that my writing has been in phases of sorts. When I first got out, after overcoming or at least managing the shock, I began to write my memories. That was in October of 2008 and I still have those writings. Those initial writings were sent to close friends and relatives to help explain the changes in my life. After a while, I felt the need to refine and explain further. After a few short posts in June of 2009, I shut down the effort until other things were put in place. Then in January 2010, a close relative bought a book for me titled, Church of Lies, by Flora Jessop. (Book review from January 9, 2010- http://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=40 ) That one book opened my eyes to the efforts of Ms. Jessop to help those wanting the escape the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints (FLDS). As I read, the comparisons between what those survivors experienced and what I was going through were simply overwhelming. I began again writing posts about my life inside and my understanding of Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF).
Soon after, I received a call from GS. It was a shock as he had not called since I left in July 2008. Why the sudden interest? He was not happy with my mention of him in a post. Keep reading. Not long after that there was “A Knock at The Door”. (Post from February 23, 2010- http://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=572 ) Two female WOFF members came to tell me that all I wrote were “lies, lies, lies…” My reply, keep reading, and I think they have.
Many of the posts in the first year retold my experiences inside WOFF. When I first left, I was surprised at the amount of misinformation in the surrounding county about WOFF. So, I felt the need to right some of those wrongs. Why? Looking back, I am not sure. But, for what is worth, I made an honest effort to tell the “truth” about life inside WOFF. What I truly believe is that the truth is so surreal, why make anything up? For many who hear or read about WOFF, they have their doubts that some of these things could be happening in their county. To assume that life in Rutherford County can’t contain some of the life-events that have been documented inside WOFF is a very dangerous assumption.
As time passed and I began to read more resources about life inside other groups, cults and the like; I made other comparisons to life inside WOFF. It is from those varied resources, that I came to understand that WOFF may have some “unusual habits” but they are not so unique and special that they cannot be predicted. Jane Whaley is one of a kind in some ways and in other ways a very common religious cult leader. She has many traits that are found in other leaders of similar groups. One series of posts written from the book – “Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism” (Copyright©2002, 2003 by Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW, published by FREE PRESS, ISBN-13:978-0-7432-1428-5) – helped me understand much about Jane and others like her. (First post in that series –http://religiouscultsinfo.com/?p=4505 )
In recent posts, I have continued using resource material to make comparisons to my life in WOFF and what I see as critical issues to knowing how to help those caught in the WOFF–web. From time to time, we have also included updates about other cult leaders and their fate. As I reflect on the last two plus years of writing, reading emails from survivors and their relatives, holding signs along Oakland Road, the countless hours on the phone talking to cult survivors and their relatives who are seeking answers… I feel my perspective of what is vital and critical to know about WOFF is changing. Though I will continue to tell my story as needed, life is short and the days are full from sunrise to sunset. What is the most effective use of my time? The answer to that seems to be helping those who want help. Helping those who have no way to get help to come out of WOFF or once they do manage to get out, help them to their next stage in life. Yes, I will answer the questions as I can about what happened to them, but, also get them connected to the resources they need to process, forgive, grow and move on in this journey called life.
The task is more easily written than accomplished. Why? It is because survivors come out with different levels of trauma, emotional damage, physical needs and the like. There is no one size fits all solution for healing and growing after WOFF. Those who went in as adults have different needs than those who were born inside or spent much of their childhood inside WOFF-dom. All that being said; each person leaving WOFF needs some level of assistance – sooner or later. So, let’s all just be adults here. Not everyone going into WOFF or born there will stay there forever. People do leave WOFF.
What is the point? Recently, I mused that if there was one question I could ask Jane Whaley either in person or on the phone it would be this; “Jane, when you are done with someone would you just call me so I can come and help them? Just call so I can help them reach their next place in life?” Yes, I have shared my question with several folks who are familiar with WOFF or who work with cult survivors. The general response has been laughter. John, you expect her to want to help those who leave WOFF? Why not? She and her group claim to be Christians and “they will know we are Christians by our love” right? Does that “love” only pertain to those who agree with Jane and her religion and live inside WOFF? Why not “love” those who chose not to follow Jane? After all “the love of God is the love of God” – right? Who said that? Jane.
For other survivors and relatives estranged from those inside WOFF, what is the one question you would ask Jane – if you had her undivided attention? Over the years, my answer to that question has changed. Today, I like the question I posed above. Well, Jane? Will you call me when the next one wants to leave? Maybe the super-emotionally charged, unique, circus-like, neighborhood WOFF-drama with the local police could be avoided if you would just call me to help them. Please, consider it. This could work out better for all those involved. Agree?
Thank you, for taking time to visit and read this blog. Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.
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Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, for posts written by John Huddle, any information about WOFF is from his memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 404.