We never are sure exactly when the next “reality check” will occur in our lives. For certain, some of the more subtle ones, I believe we all miss. Why would I say that? Well, for years, I ignored, rationalized, overlooked and just plain denied certain reality checks in my life. For many, you know I am referring to life inside the Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) in Spindale, NC. I spent sixteen years under the influence of the doctrines, practices and teachings of Jane Whaley. Yes, the first ten years, I physically lived in Greenville, SC as a member of another church. But, who could deny the slow, methodical, ever-growing influence that Jane had over life in Greenville. The results speak for themselves. In 2002, the Greenville church merged into WOFF.
Looking back, there were situations that should have served as reality checks- which I religiously rationalized and/or ignored. For me, that was part of the slow process that culminated with the move to Spindale, NC. Not everyone will have the same experiences or even view these situations as reality checks for their life. Let me list a few of mine. First, there was the whole “You have to go to Spindale to be in the Move of God” mantra. I had fallen for that one in years past in other churches and the results had been abysmal, also. But, I wanted to be with the “people of God”, doing the “will of God” and thus, I went to Spindale. Was “God” not able to reach His people in Greenville? Well, as the years passed and God’s will became evident only through Jane Whaley; where did/does she live? Can you see that I did not allow my reality to be checked, or compared to reasonable common sense; it was only fashioned and molded to fit another’s purpose.
What have I learned? I HOPE that I have learned that people who are touted as a “you MUST go hear or see” are just that- a circus act in the making. Well, what has following people like that benefited you or me? I sincerely believe God is big enough to cross my path and get to me what He wants for me. Yes, there will be those who will reference the Three Wise Men who traveled to see Jesus. Others will tell me about Moses climbing up a mountain to meet God. Still others will recite the story of the thousands of folks who followed Jesus hither and yon to hear Him preach and teach. To all of those I say- when those days return of God visiting and manifesting Himself in the earth- then I will reconsider. For now, following here and there, a man or woman because they have the message of power for the hour – is not for me.
Another factor of life inside WOFF that should have served as a reality check was the misplaced priority on the spiritual value of material things. But, no, I wanted to be with the people of God, doing the will of God and hearing the voice of God – so I ignored the materialism and the perverted “gospel” when it came to finances. This subject has been written about here on this blog in previous posts. Jane Whaley answers to no one of any consequence in her life when it comes to the money she rakes in from the members of her church. Well, let me qualify that statement, things could have changed, but, Jane Whaley never answered to anyone of any consequence about the spending of money, during the years I attended WOFF. How do I know? She never issued a written accounting of the finances to the regular members during my time at WOFF. Why did this matter? It was a reality check which I ignored. During my attendance in previous churches, I HELPED PREPARE such accounting statements for members. Why does this not matter to Jane and thus it is not a practice at WOFF? The answer to that is for another post. For now, let’s just list it as a red flag- reality check for those that are willing to admit it.
On the materialism note, we who were a part of WOFF for any length of time remember Sam Whaley “taking up the tithes and offerings” with his rendition of “If God is blessing you – others will see it.” We all knew he was referring to big houses, new cars and nice clothes. How did we know? What was the first thing Jane did when a new person came into the fold? She dressed as a “minister” according to her gospel. Well, yes, the nice houses are common in WOFF. My reality check, which went ignored, was when members would testify to the blessings of God and you later heard about the monthly payments which accompanied the “blessings.” Does anyone struggle inside WOFF to make their payments on the credit cards, cars or houses? Shall we ask if anyone goes bankrupt inside WOFF? That information is public record. How does that fit with the prosperity gospel at WOFF? Did someone or several folks “miss God”? That should be a big reality check, right?
During the beginning of my exit process from WOFF, there is one moment of truth that served as a reality check which helped me make my way OUT of Jane’s religion. During a meeting on April 9, 2008, I was interrogated, accused, screamed at and blasted to the point which I could not ignore. What struck me so plain during that meeting was the fact that others besides Jane and Brooke acted like the way I being treated was perfectly normal, God-like and Christian. Well, that one piece of understanding helped me recover from the many lost chances to compare my WOFF-reality to good common sense. This was one reality check that served its purpose. Anyone else have a similar experience?
So, missed reality checks from years passed can be lamented and taken as lessons learned. Actually, it only takes ONE bone-jarring, reality shaking, and fog-lifting moment to begin the walk out of Jane’s kingdom. No matter how hard Jane or her leadership will try, they cannot keep all members from experiencing those fearful, yet golden moments that will lead them to an exit which will change their life forever. Yes, those moments can be scary and full of uncertainty, but, golden none the less. And when you leave WOFF, these moments will not cease. These are all part of normal, everyday life.
Today, I had a reality check that was too obvious to miss. This experience was actually the catalyst for this post. In my work, I talk to many folks in stressful situations. Many confide their fears and failures. Some even share their battles with diseases like cancer. Earlier this year, Ron, not his real name, had confided in me that he had just been diagnosed with cancer. He was afraid he would not live to see his two children grow up. He and his wife had recently adopted them and he expressed his deep love for them freely. Ron was in his late 50’s or early 60’s, I am not sure. We had a good talk when he first shared with me his fears and I encouraged him the best I could.
On June 5th of this year, I learned he was on his way to the hospital for surgery and would be in the hospital for 12 days. His daughter admitted – he was not doing well. Today, I learned he passed away on June 9th. I was shaken to read the note on the screen.
Yes, I know, folks die from cancer and calamity every day. However, at that moment, his desires rang loudly in my ears. He loved, he supported, he cherished his family and yet, he was gone. My heart went out to the family left behind. But, also, I considered my life and the choices made, the events that have transpired over these last few years. Not everything in these last four years has been rosy or memorable. In fact, several things in my life have been a struggle to say the least. The question rang loudly in my mind again, what am I doing with my life? Am I living life to the fullest and when ever that time comes for me to transition to eternity, will I have regrets? For now, the questions are bigger than the answers.
Everyone must face these questions at one point or another. What will be your next reality check? Will you miss it and rush past it in your attempt to make it through your day? Worse, will you put down your personal values and deny common sense to live out some fantasy life? Will you chase a spiritual impossibility in order to someday, maybe in some way gain, the approval of a person you respect or in which, in your mind, you assign more holiness than yourself? Will you chase the empty promises of a shaman and ignore the reality check staring you in the face- today? Don’t chase the religious fables of tomorrow and ignore the wisdom meant for today. I did for years.
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Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, for posts written by John Huddle, any information about WOFF is from his memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. Scripture references are Amplified Version unless otherwise noted. (Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation ) This is post number 406.