Recently, a friend replied to an email. He had to get clarification on something I sent him. He asked me if I meant to imply that Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF) does not celebrate Mother’s Day. I chuckled when reading his question. Though the WOFF website lists one paragraph with one scripture reference and a short list of holidays; they do not specifically mention Mother’s Day, Memorial Day or Fourth of July. (In years past, WOFF has had a Veteran’s appreciation program. Not sure how that works now.) But, none of these are officially celebrated at WOFF. (NO on the fireworks, for sure!!!) Certainly, in this country, we are not required and should not be required to participate in any national, regional or cultural celebration regardless of the origin. Freedom to opt out or in is still a freedom.
However, looking at the whole picture and not just number 17 on the list of “Beliefs” on the WOFF website, one gets a clearer picture of the effects of this non-participation. Mother’s Day is a busy time for the post office, flower shops and telephone/cell services. It is a normal practice in the American culture to take time and show your mother your love and appreciation on that day. Yes, gifts, cards and other things may lead the way for the “evidence” of the love. There is always a group of folks that allow the commercial side of anything to replace the meaning. It is so easy to do in this culture.
From this blog we learn a little more about the origin of Mother’s Day:
http://www.pressdemocrat.com/article/20100508/LIFESTYLE/100509629/1349?p=2&tc=pg
“It was a hardworking mother and teacher, Anna Jarvis, who came up with the idea of Mothers’ Work Days to improve sanitation in her small West Virginia town in 1958, according to the Santa Rosa-based National Women’s History Project. In 1872, Boston poet, pacifist and women’s suffragist Julia Ward Howe established a special day for mothers as a call for peace after so many sons were lost in the bloody Franco-Prussian War. But it was Jarvis’ daughter, also named Anna, who pushed Congress to officially establish Mother’s Day in 1914. Jarvis herself railed against the selling of Mother’s Day.”
Yes, allowing the focus to shift from love and appreciation to some gift that may not last until the end of the month is sad. However, the function of not celebrating Mother’s Day at WOFF for those whose mother was not at WOFF , resulted in a severe strain at a minimum or possible severance of relationships. For many years while at WOFF, I never sent my mother, grandmother, mother-in-law a card or gift. That is Mother’s Day or birthday or Valentine ’s Day or…?? It was not considered “right” to even get a card and flowers for your wife – the mother of your children. I think the excuse was – you may give over to “perversion”. Translated: you may not consider your first allegiance to the work at WOFF. In my opinion, severing family ties to those outside the group was essential to solidifying the control over members.
The cutting of ties many times centered on WOFF related revelation and practices that the family outside did not choose to adhere to or believe. One person related the experience of their sibling cutting off family contact over the television playing in their parent’s home. It was said that sibling WOFF member had not returned for years to visit their parents, because the parents had the television playing while they visited. I know the struggle. While in WOFF, members were coached by Jane Whaley or leadership on situations with outside family members- some times in front of the whole church. This was to set an example of “walking in the revelation God has given” to WOFF and “to sanctify God before the people”. I know of what I write. I had the same situations with my family before leaving WOFF. The television and eating out at a place that did not serve alcohol were always situations to “get ahold of”. I look back and appreciate so much the family members who would give us room to work out our time with them, around our stringent beliefs. The family members did not understand, but several would accept us even in light of the struggles to share time together. For that matter, I had questions in my heart why we had the hoops to jump through in order to be with family outside of WOFF. I will share more on this in another post.
This morning in the grocery store I had a conversation with a lady by the meat department. We mentioned about some folks having cookouts on Sunday to celebrate Mother’s Day. I told her my Mom had already received her card and flowers. She said, “Boy, I bet she was shocked!” I said, “Lady, you don’t know the half of it and you don’t have the time for me to tell you!” She walked away while I was still laughing on that one. 🙂
Another question; with the growing Hispanic group at WOFF, where does Jane Whaley stand on Cinco de Mayo?
Please, consume the information on this site responsibly. The author is not a licensed mental health professional and encourages those that need professional help to seek it. The intent of the material is to inform and be a resource. Be sure to tell every member that you know at WOFF about this blog. There are readers at WOFF. Comments are invited from all readers, including present or former members. Polls are not scientific and no private information is gathered.
(Please, take time to read the Terms of Use for this personal blog. As mentioned, the information about WOFF is from my memories and recollections as perfect as that may be or not be. ) This is post number 101.
Yes, John, I certainly agree with you. Part of the control was to separate people from thier famlies outside the WOFF circle. My missing both of my niece’s weddings has caused a major separation with my brother’s family. I was told not to go, it was not GOD for me to go and there would be no protection nor mercy for me if I went; Yeah, right. So we are working on some repairing of relationships here. We did not celebrate Mother’s or Father’s Day because it elevated them to a God-like place in our hearts and lives!!!! But I do remember taking up a special offering to honor Sam and Jane as our spiritual parents. Jayne suggested it. The money was used to finish some redecorating at their house. I remember it well. It was accepted and nothing said. But we did not even at that time observe Mother’s or Father’s Day with our own parents. It was ok, because Sam and Jane were our ‘spiritual parents”? This took place on a Sunday night so the Greenville travelers could be included and be a blessing to the Whaley’s. It is kinda sad, isn’t it? I missed so many things in my family because of a CULT!! Pray for my sister Terry, the cancer is spreading quickly. and time is very short. Love and hugs and prayers to you!!
VS,
Now that you mention it, I do remember that service. It puts a sick feeling in my stomach to remember services like that. But, forgetting and ignoring the truth of the control dynamics, only buries problems that will not go away. Sharing thoughts and feelings from the time at WOFF – helps. Prayers for your sister and the family. Thank you, for reading and commenting.
I did almost pass out! There was a Mother’s Day Tea scheduled here just minutes after the beautiful roses arrived. In short order they were arranged and placed in the center of the table with the China cups and teapots. There were so many oohs and aahs over the beauty of the flowers but if they only knew what they represented to me they would have been deeply touched. In my book, “Rose’s Song” I wrote a song entitled,” Rose’s Song,” and it tells what each color means: red is love, pink is for thanks and gentleness, yelllow-friendship, promise and joy, and the white stands alone with purity and innocence. I wish all of these attributes to all who read this on this special day. And John, you have more than made up for all those missed Mother’s Days. I love you, Mom
I remember Jane saying we do not celebrate Mother’s Day because it was the birthday of Mrs. Jarvis, who her daughter wanted to remember. So, Mother’s Day come from her birth date in May. With that being a birthday and the church no longer celebrating birthdays, so went Mother’s Day. Rest of the holidays are not observed because they celebrate something ungodly. The veteran’s recognition you mentioned was only for one year. Jane rebuked the school principal in church for that because it was not God. I do not remember the exact words, but it was exalting other men…you never exalt anyone. You do not call anyone Mr. or Mrs. or Dr., etc. because it is a title that exalts…so children are taught to call everyone by their first name including all adults. So, everyone is equal in the eyes of the Lord.
Thank you for the clarification. Makes total WOFF sense to me. Do you remember the print out with all the research on the History of Christmas? I still have that handout. Were we told to make copies and send out to relatives? I did and you can just know what reaction I got… (don’t “guess”… that is “witchcraft”) There were so many rules, it is hard to remember all of them until a situation comes up…
I was reading the Daily Courier and saw the link to this article and was intrigued. I have heard about WOFF from my family that had worked with members of that church, if you can call it that, and couldn’t believe the stories they told. That is until my former company hired a member to work for them, for a very short period of time. She was let go due to wanting to discuss religion and disturbing the work environment – no one could get along with her. I am glad you have this web site so others won’t be fooled by their propaganda.
J.M.
Thank you for reading and taking time to comment. Please, pass link to those you think might have an interest. Check back often, as new material is posted several days a week.
John