The Toilet Paper Revelation

     One service seemingly out of no where, Jane Whaley said; “God had told her the right way to put the toilet paper on the roll”. She went on to other subjects then came back to the subject. She asked if we (the members..) wanted to know what God had said? The impression she got was that we all wanted to know.

     Jane then went on to explain that one day (recently was the impression we were given) as she was in the bathroom, she heard God tell her the right way to put the toilet paper in the roll. She said the right way is with the paper rolling over the top. “Do you want to know why?”, she asked. She said that there was less wasted, than if the paper rolls from underneath.

     She went on to also say that God had been dealing with her about folding the end of the paper when she was finished. (as done at a hotel)  As mentioned in previous posts, because of not being allowed to take notes during the service, the date of this revelation is unclear. But who would forget such an essential life enhancing revelation from the Apostle Jane Whaley? It not only was talked about that day, it was the buzz in the church for several days.

     The fallout from this service was amazing. True to form, children began to scrutinize the paper habits of those in their household! There were self-appointed “TP Police”. Some were more vocal than others. Do you know the thoughts that one would have when you finished and had to make to the choice, fold or not fold? Or if it was your turn to change the roll, over or under?

     The pressure to be on the right side of this revelation was VERY GREAT! Because many households had more than one family, bathroom habits were visible by more than your immediate family members. The toilet paper pressure became greater and greater. There was even the question of bringing the paper to a symetrical fold with a neat point and how to best accomplish that! Lessons were available.

     The foray around making sure everyone completes the requirements for toilet paper roll direction and folding neatness became intense. Jane Whaley came to the podium a couple of weeks later to moderate the frenzy. She pointed out that the conversations had gotten out of hand. She reminded folks that she had shared what God told her. It did not mean God would require that same thing for each one of us. Whew! Maybe the bathroom inspections would be less intense! The frenzy did die away – gradually. But, to this day, I still hear that question- over or under? Finally, I have stopped feeling the pressure to fold!

     Why bring this up? Why would Jane bring this up? What could be the basis for Jane even feeling justified to express concern in this area? Many times, I heard the following scripture mentioned when addressing seemingly small details of daily life… 

Job 36:5 (Amplified Bible)

5Behold! God is mighty, and yet despises no one nor regards anything as trivial…

     The whole line of conversation seems off kilter and evidence of the narcissism that Jane displays in her everyday life. The reaction of the members and the effects that “revelations from God” have on this group are amazing and potentially dangerous.

The one on the left is better…   🙂



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One thought on “The Toilet Paper Revelation”

  1. Wow i remember this. I was in abv fellowship and visited word 3x year. I remember folding the toilet paper. Wow. And the folding of the towels a certain way which i still

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